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Well, it was time for the Christmas Party at Church, and the pastor's wife said we should all bring "finger food". Being one for following instructions, I did just that.  Being one who is very odd, and going to a church full of equally odd folks, I figured, this would be perfect. 

Step 1: Ingredients and Supplies:

Ingredients:

Wheat Bread
Sliced Almonds
Strawberry Jam/Jelly/Spread (I prefer jam with seeds and fruit chunks) 
Honey
Pretzels
Yogurt covered cranberries (Optional and substitution allowed of course) 

Supplies:

Knife
Rolling Pin
Bowl or two or three
Cutting Board
Imagination
Patience

Step 2: De-Crust Bread

Simple. Cut the crusts off the bread, try not to waste any more than you have to. 

Step 3: Flatten the Bread

Flatten the bread, this will become the "skin" of your fingers. 

(Yes, I am weird, I like a glass test tube for a rolling pin!!) 

Step 4: Cut Into Halves

Cut the bread in half, each will become a finger. Put one aside for now. 

Step 5: Add Jam

Add some of the strawberry jam, not too much or it'll squish out.  This becomes the "Meat" in the fingers. 

Step 6: Add a Pretzel "bone"

Use the pretzel to spread the jam out as shown, then put the pretzel in place. 

Step 7: Roll Finger

Loosely and Gently roll the bread, being careful not to squish the jam forward into the roll or out of the ends too much. 

Step 8: Shape Joints and Fingertip

Look at your own hand, and notice how the finger decreases diameter near the end, and between the 2 knuckles.  Shape the finger slightly the same way. Don't worry if it bursts or anything, but don't over-squeeze either. 

Step 9: Add the Fingernail.

Choose a nicely shaped almond slice. I prefer either pointy ones or well rounded ones, with some of the almond skin "brown" at the edges to look like the real thing.  Dip them in honey and coat well. Honey on one side becomes "glue" while the other helps to give a nice grungy look.   Do your final shaping to the end of the finger, and add a little honey there too. 

Step 10: Attach Nail

Press the almond slice down and into the finger a bit, from the end, to help embed it and create the cuticle area. That being bulged out a little like real nails adds a little realism.  This is also a good time to spread on a thin coat of honey over the top of the finger, to add a bit of skin tone and grungy appearance for later. 

Step 11: Add Joint Wrinkles

There are several ways to do this, I prefer to just cut slightly through the skin into the jam below. You can also use a spoon to make lighter lines, or other ways. Be creative. 

Step 12: Add Exposed Bones

Cut a yogurt covered cranberry in half. Coat one end in honey, and insert into the severed end of the finger. 

If you used something else for a bone, adjust as needed. Some options are: Marshmallows, rolled, white choc covered pretzels, etc. 

Step 13: Dish and Dress

Place the fingers into a dish, arrange as desired (normal variation in each one may lead you to have just right lengths for "hands"

Take a bit of jam and thin it out with warm water. Drizzle it onto the ends and into the dish, for obviously bloody appearance. A bit here and there adds to the spectacle.  This is why i like seedy and fruity chunks......adds a bit of "meat" to the bloody mess.  

You'll also see how I deal with the occasional mistake:

Broken in half fingers, 
Cut fingers, 
Toes
Partial Fingers
Be creative (or just eat them and hide the evidence) 

Step 14: Finish and Serve

Take the rest of your thinned jam, and maybe some of the jarred jam, and finish dressing up your massacre. Cover, deliver, and inform that the request has been filled to the letter.  

Enjoy the reactions too....some folks will love them, some will refuse to eat them, and everyone will laugh. 
I love how you took these to church :D
ok .. i gotta know .. how did these go over at your church Christmas party?
Very well actually, and there were none left :)
that is awesome. good job!

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Bio: Inventor and tinkerer by nature.
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