What you need:
1) Pair of glasses
4) 2mm copper tubing
1) Break your glasses however you want. I prefer thinking I'm tough and taking off a sweater while wearing them.
2) Throw out the sandpaper and pliers, and take them to a jeweler to get them soldered, or do it yourself. Oh, they won't hold? Because you paid a hundred dollars more for the titanium frames? So you won't be so top-heavy? Well, better go get that sandpaper and pliers out of the trash can now. Also, go hit the weight room.
2) Go on ebay or to your local craft store and get the 2mm copper tubing that the womenfolk use for god knows what.
3) Clip them to size Protip: the end you clip will be weaker, so use the unclipped end to slide onto the glasses.
4) Sand down the nubs to fit.
5) Voila! Feel tough, take picture, add lens glare, and use the emoticon "B-D" without terrible guilt of living a horrible lie.