German Käsehäppchen

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Introduction: German Käsehäppchen

The german delicacy "Käsehäppchen" (cheese nosh) has
been very a very popular party food when I was a child (in the 70s/80s).
You still find it today, among the culinarily retarded, on retro events or
things like football worldcups.

A guide to a lost art.

Step 1: Shopping List

Here's what you need:

1. Cheese
The traditional German cheese for this is "Gouda". If you can't get it in
your region, you may try some similar sort. Go for the "big boring one".
Make sure you buy an cheese that is not famous for having any special
taste and comes in big chunks. Depending on where you live, this may
be cheddar, havarti, brick, etc. See World Cheese Index for advice.
The choice of a good boring cheese is of elementary importance.

2. Grapes
Just any will do.

3. Flag picks
In Germany you can buy these in every larger store. If you live outside
Germany, you may have to work with toothpicks and a printer. Maybe
later I will add an extra instructible on this issue. Needless to say that
by all means it has to be a German flag.

Step 2: Cheeseworks

Grab a knife.
Cut the cheese into cubes that approximately match the size of the
grapes. Don't put too much effort in cutting geometrically correct cubes.
Cuboids, rhobuses oder parallelograms will also do.

Step 3: Picking of the Grapes

Loosen the grapes from the bunch.
Experts may want to skip this step and pick the grapes during the
construction phase. Leave this decision to your own confidence.

Step 4: Construction Phase

Now you have the three basic elements.
Experience has shown that there's only one possible combination
that prevents the Käsehäppchen from falling over:
1. Cheese
2. Grape
3. Flag

Pierce the grape with the flag pick and then stick both into the cheese.
One Käsehäppchen is prepared. Repeat this untill you run out of
a) cheese, b) grapes or c) flags.

Step 5: Congratulations!

You now own a set of Käsehäppchen.

You will soon find out why this is the perfect party catering:

It looks good and is a stunning conversation piece. But the most
impressive feature about it is it's social interactivity: The later the
evening, girls (who always seem to watch their weight) will tend to
pick only the grapes, leaving all the good fat cheese to the boys,
without those disturbing vitamins. Praise the lord.

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18 Comments

Yes, as was said, Gouda is Dutch. Might I suggest a Klosterkaese or the like. If you like a harder, sharper cheese, use olives instead. The softer the cheese, the sweeter the object on top. Just no spicy things! That tends to ruin a perfectly good piece of cheese and flag! (Unless you're using Pepper Jack.)

Du brauchst etwas rot(?) Schwarz, rot, gelb. L

Oh yes, you are right. Let's see: Cheese, fruit and ... sausage of course!
A Slice of Wiener would be nice. Or a cube of the infamous German Fleischwurst.
But maybe then I would replace the grapes by olives. Disgusting - I love it!

By the way: It's "Schwarz, Rot, Gold".

Wurst, naturlich! Ich werde dies machen. L Ya gold, entschuldigen mir bitte.

lol i really love americans speaking german thats sounds so goddamn cool

(I'm not American) L

oh im so sorry, i didnt want to insult you it also funny if not german speaking people speaking german

(I'm not insulted)
Learned German at school, got an 'A', forgot most of it...

L

My friend claimed that he remembered most of the French he learned, except the vocabulary... never figured that one out.

heißt es "Buch-deutsch." Und Amerikaner denken, daß es unterhaltsam ist, wann Deutsche sprechen Englisch! :-P :-)

Well yes, and I guess it works both ways too. ("Uber da")

L