Step 1: WHAT YOU WILL NEED
- A functioning television set, large or small, old or new, cable or antenna or satellite.
- A thin, translucent medium such as wax paper, available from any grocery store.
- One to four lightweight rods such as a coat-hanger, depending on the structure of your TV's housing and any furniture it might be in.
- A non-sticking tie or fastener such as wire ties, hair ties, hook-and-loop strap (Velcro), gaffer's tape, zip-ties, etc.
- Something to cut with, such as a pair of scissors.
Step 2: SITUATING THE TV, a QUESTIONNAIRE
- Does the TV set work, that is, can it receive and display a cable, antenna or VCR/DVD signal? In other words, does it need to be fixed? For our purposes, it does not need to be expensive, new, or high quality but it does need to have a reasonably "watchable" picture.
- Do you have permission to fix the TV set?
- Is the TV set accessible? If you need a ladder, get one.
- is the TV set upright, such that the screen is perpendicular to the floor? If the screen is inclined at a steep angle, you will have to secure the wax paper at top and bottom.
Step 3: MOUNTING THE FIXER, Or, FIXING THE MOUNTAIN
- Turn on your television and tune it to a working channel (or recorded input).
- Turn the volume down to zero.
- Cut three or four sheets of the wax paper that are twice as long as the TV is high. Drape the sheets over the coat hanger like a pair of pants, hanging equally on each side.
Step 4: MOUNTING THE FIXER, Or, FIXING THE MOUNTAIN
- Stand in front of the TV within arm's reach. Hold the coat hanger up about 10 cm from the screen and look through the wax paper at the TV. The TV image through the paper should look like blurry, colored blobs.
- Close your eyes and change the channel. Open your eyes. Can you recognize what is on the screen? If so, try moving the sheets further away from the screen or adding another sheet. If the image looks like one big blob, take off one or two sheets or move them closer to the screen.
- When you are satisfied that the TV has been sufficiently obscured, proceed to the next step.
Step 5: MOUNTING THE FIXER, Or, FIXING THE MOUNTAIN
- Use the wire ties to secure the hook(s) of the cost hanger(s) (laying flat) to the top of the TV.
- Add more sheets of wax paper until the entire screen is obscured.
- If the cost hanger is not wide enough to obscure the entire screen when viewed from in front, get creative. Try taping two coat hangers together and cutting a slit in the back of the sheets so they will hang neatly around the arms of the hangers.