Picture of Hacking IKEA

It's the perfect store!  Great products, reasonable prices, friendly staff.  You can wander around as much as you like, examining the furniture and products.  They sell just about everything for your home, even food!  Speaking of food, there's even a restaurant there, prices are great!  Invented in Sweden, known as one of the friendliest, most chill places on earth!

It's wonderful... right?

It looks like a great place, but remember, long before the Swedes were laid back and friendly, they were feared throughout the civilized world as Viking raiders, fierce warriors and conquerors.  IKEA may seem peaceful enough, but you have to be on your guard there - it's a store, which has but one purpose - to separate you from your money.  Shopping there, like shopping anywhere, is a battle, a battle of wits, and you are outnumbered, fighting on their turf.  As in any battle, you can still win by using superior tactics, acting in ways the enemy doesn't expect, and proper intelligence (information).

Don't let IKEA get the best of you.  I will show you some tips and tricks that can save you money and time, and get better furniture from the encounter.  Fix bayonets and sally forth!
LvNo10002 years ago
Great guide. I'd probably suggest a better title, but everything else was easy to understand and quite helpful. 5/5 This seems complete enough to be featured; I wonder why it isn't.
exabopper (author)  LvNo10002 years ago
Probably because it doesn't really deserve to be featured. Honestly, it's more of a humorous rant piece than any kind of instructional guide, so it should probably be on Reddit instead of here. Glad you enjoyed it, though.
Luziviech2 years ago
hm, you say they want to "separate you from your money" - well. i wonder why you call this a hack, while it's rather a hommage imo. I know there really are sum few things at ikea that are useful, but for example when i think of their catalogues showing fully furnished rooms (imperium in imperio) and then you try to get their products second hand, you can't get any and you realize: it's all crap after the first use, cos separating you from your money on the one hand implies lowest quality and an aggressive advising on the other hand to keep you buying. That's why i forgo ikea any way i can.
PS1183 years ago
I have one thing the directions never tell you, but is always beneficial:

For each step, start all the screws first. Then go back and tighten them!
exabopper (author)  PS1183 years ago
Thanks for reminding me of this! I actually did that, and I tell others to do that, but I forgot it here - Jag är en dåre (Swedish for "My bad")...
Fun read, nice 'ible! We love our IKEA furniture (most of the living room is Billy and Benno, and once the 30+yo end tables wear out, they'll probably be replaced with IKEA as well).
Very nice tips :) I have to say, I always have to get myself some Swedish Meatballs before shopping! Need all that extra energy for putting things together later!