To see even more handy tricks, check out the rest of the saga at
Handy Tricks 9: Oodles of random tricks
and Handy Tricks 8: Island Handy Tricks
and Handy Tricks 7: Bike Mods and Projects
and Fifty Handy Tricks.
and 40 More Handy Tricks
and Australian Handy Tricks
and Guatemalan Handy Tricks
and Yet More Handy Tricks
and Handy Tricks Six!
For a bunch of things that didn't work, check out How Not To.
First trick: Avoid the Flu
Everyone I know gets one cold and flu after another and seems to be sick all the time.
I haven't been sick in a year. Can anyone remember the last time I was sick? I can't.
Here's how to avoid disease and act crazy at the same time.
1. Use your own bowl and utensils. Keep them in your office and keep them dirty so
other people won't use them.
2. Eat live food. Kraut, kefir, kombucha. Fill your body with lots of warlike friendly
bacteria. Create a "field of weeds" Microbial environment in your body. Then when a
specialized people-eating germ lands on you, it's the new kid in a gang
neighborhood and doesn't last long. Your dirty dishes are protected the same way.
3. Wash your hands before picking your nose or touching your eyes. Your mouth is made
to eat off the floor. Your eyes and nose aren't so well protected.
4. Wear long sleeves so you have something to touch doorknobs with.
We should really have footknobs on doors. The L-knobs or "elbowknobs" are ok, and are required in europe.
5. The air in airplanes is stale, dry, and full of germs.
Wear a gas mask on airplanes. Preferably with underwear on your head or an Arab headdress.
Illustration courtesy of National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID).
Step 1: Electric Wheelchair Becomes Electric Car
Here's his very thorough website about his car.