loading

We all get nervous, but do you ever wish you could really heighten the anxiety you feel to an unbearable level? Not so long ago I discovered a remarkable technique to do exactly that: take your anxiety and crank it up to a near, full-blown panic attack. The technique is simple, totally effective, and best of all, it's low cost -- the materials in this Instructable cost no more than a couple of dollars. Here's how to do it!

Step 1: Materials

To make this Instructable, you will need:

  • A coffee cup
  • A mirror that fits at the bottom of that coffee cup
  • Food-safe glue

For the food-safe glue, I used a special version of Gorilla glue.

Step 2: Attach the Mirror to the Coffee Cup.

Rub some glue onto the back of your mirror and then place the mirror so that the glue side is facing the bottom of the coffee cup. Allow the glue to dry for as long as it needs.

Step 3: Pour Yourself a Nice Cup of Coffee.

Make sure it's nice and hot. Get a flavor you like; you deserve it. Watch the steam as it uncurls and lazily drifts into the morning air, a subtle shade of summer breeze. Feel the heat of the cup penetrating deeper and deeper into your hands, warming the rest of your body. Don't think. Just focus.

Step 4: Enjoy Your Coffee.

Relax. Slowly take the first sip. Savor the aroma, then go for seconds. Indulge yourself. It's okay if you slurp, don't worry. Enjoy the rich flavor on your palette, the heavy aromatics sinking into your taste buds and tickling your senses. Feel the gentle lift as the caffeine begins to take effect. You feel alert. Awake. The world is brighter than you remember. The newspaper is full of tragedies, but you do not care. If you are next to your partner, express your love for them. If your pets are around, pet them. Sink back into your chair. Think about nothing. Focus on nothing. Just enjoy the moment.

Step 5: Finish the Cup of Coffee.

Tilt your chin upward and get that last drop. There's not even enough for a full mouthful. It's the end, buddy-boy. That's it. No more, not until you get another cup. You made enough for two cups, right?

Step 6: Gaze Into the Abyss at the Bottom of the Coffee Cup.

As you finish the cup, look down inside. Look, and observe what you see.

Find the emptiness at the bottom of the cup.

Find the void at the bottom of the cup.

Find the abyss at the bottom of the cup.

Find the abyss, a monster at the bottom of the abyss, a monster staring back at you.

Whatever you do, do not look away.

Step 7: It Looks Back at You.

There it is. There you are. It's you. You are it. You are the abyss and the monster at the bottom of the abyss. You are your caffeine addiction, and you are the monster feeding your addiction. You are at the bottom of every cup, hungry, merciless, waiting. Waiting for more, only to be once again depleted in a never-ending cycle of neurochemical samsara. Look at it. Gaze at it, long and hard. Stare at it. No, really, LOOK AT IT! STARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ABYSS AND GET YOUR FILL! ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR NEXT CUP OF COFFEE YET?!

Step 8: Think About It.

<p>just 1 question. are you alright in the head?</p>
<p>How about a concave or convex mirror?</p>
<p>I AM thinking about it, just that, is enough to frighten the wits out of most living creatures...and even some (who didn't survive it.) Thanks for the life giving advice.&lt;3</p>
<p>What a wonderful idea for T.G.I.F.!</p>
You definitely made my day. Boy! Did I laugh. Very good way to start a day. Thanks!
<p>hahaha, that's a good idea. </p>
<p>I love it!</p>
Yay, now I'm afraid of m'y cup's bottom...
<p>An excellent idea for a prank, although I don't like the idea of a hot liquid and glue.</p>
I almost had I nervous breakdown just reading this....
<p>hahaha!</p>
something to think about on shrooms
<p>Thanks for the laugh, I definitely needed it.</p>
<p>First off, funny. Second off, WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO INCREASE THEIR ANXIETY!?!?! This is like torture to some. Anyways, all I can really say is lol.</p>
<p>That's a great idea.</p>
<p>The look on that guy is classic. What a funny mug! (oh, wait, that's a bonus funny)</p>
<p> I hope the gorilla glue is non-toxic after being exposed to hot liquid. Nah...who cares, right? Great gift for a narcissist, &quot;Hmmm....hello good-lookin' !&quot;</p>
<p>Yes!.. Yes!!! By GOD .. I'm READY for my NEXT CUP!!!<br>Please Sir; may I have another??? ;-D</p>
<p>Awesome. </p>
<p>???</p>
<p>Excellent</p>
<p>Hahahahahaha to the pre-cracking the mirror comment!</p>
<p>ugh...if i looked like you i wouldnt ever be anxious!</p>
<p>This was easily the greatest thing I have ever read on this site. Perhaps ever.</p><p>This will haunt my dreams forever, and for that alone, I applaud you utterly.</p>
<p>Couldn't you &quot;step it up&quot; a notch by precracking the mirror?</p>
<p>Seriously ...</p>
<p>You should write poetry, not instructables.</p>
<p>hahahaha!!! :P</p>
<p>hahahaah very Nice!</p>
<p>Wonderful! <br>(Although the image of gorilla glue leaking into my coffee put me off...)</p>
Lmao, reminds me of my boyfriend and his coffee addiction.
<p>It was deep, deep and hard. Good work.</p>
<p>Excellent. The height of advice on increasing your anxiety and continuing the dance of samsara. I salute you, sir!</p>
<p>yum, chemical flavour</p>
<p>lol</p>
<p>Very funny, thanks!</p>
<p>I enjoyed your humorous writing style. xD</p>
seriously. this is well written and very funny. I love the pics.
I feel a good prank brewing out of this...... bwaaahahahaaaaaa<br>
and I thought drinking coffee in the nude was scary.
<p>Mmmmmm, abyssmal...</p>
<p>I'm dying here, oh man.</p>
<p>there's nothing i enjoy more in the morning than a cup of coffee that's a full-bodied dark roast tinged with notes of existential dread, finished with subtle hints of spring florals &amp; nihilistic anguish.</p>
<p>So simple, yet so disturbing.</p><p>So deeply disturbing...</p>
I got anxiety just from reading this

About This Instructable

49,641views

283favorites

License:

Bio: Just another wanderer.
More by wrdwise:Cajun Kimchi Bacon Nuggets Turn your French fries back into a potato 
Add instructable to: