Instructables

Hot Dog Jerky

Solar Powered Meat Snacks.
Transform cheap hotdogs into a dried delicacy with a street value of a dollar an ounce.
 
Remove these adsRemove these ads by Signing Up

Step 1: Digitize Your Dogs


Get the cheapest hotdogs you can find.
Leftovers from a tractor pull or pro wrestling show would be perfect.
We're going to scientifically determine the best thickness using a binary divide- and-conquer strategy.
That means we divide a hotdog by two, then by two again, thus creating two bit dogs.

A Poem; Ode to a Doomed Dog:

Time is wasting
We're all slowly dying
Let's get to slicing
and get those hot dogs drying
While the sun is still shining

Step 2: Like Fallen Heroes They Lie

Cut the remaining ten hotdogs into quarters.

Metaphors of wartime carnage come to mind.

I've been going to lots of talks by U.S. military analysts and historians.
All their analyses indicate that this war will continue to be "What we call in the field a big mess."
These are the people that get ignored when policy is made.
Then they study the ensuing disasters and give talks about what coding scheme is most valid and what regression analysis etc. is best. Then the questions: "what can we expect?"
Let me summarize: Our dumb jerks in charge have gotten us into a stupid mess. Expect more of that.

Take a break to see tiny photos of the faces of thousands of Americans killed in Iraq: http://www.duckdaotsu.org/valor.html
Ten times that many have been maimed.
Ten times that many Iraqis have been killed and maimed.

Don't worry, I'm done with this gloomy stuff. Let's get back to the details of

HOW TO LEAVE HOT DOGS OUT IN THE SUN

Step 3: Marinade

Mix up a batch of spicy liquid. This is a good time to use up all the bottles of brown and reddish stuff that were in the house when you moved in.
1-40 of 50Next »
myrrhmaid1 year ago
Seriously, I bet if you parboil these after you sliced them, then marinate them it might be o.k. I'm going to use a dehydrator to make some for my mother-in-law!
cdoggy1 year ago
HAHAHAHAHA this is awesome !!! I'm no longer a vegetarian
Foaly74 years ago
What would the people reading this with the worst bad luck in the world do to cover the 'dogs from the destructive divebombings of the avian world populace?
Lokisgodhi5 years ago
The leaving them out in the sun method might be your problem here.

The recipes I've always seen for jerky have been to put the meat in an oven at the lowest temp possible, like 140-160 degrees, for 8-12 hours with the oven door ajar and dehydrate them that way. 
ill stick with my good old sote bought beef jerky....yum slim jims
whiteoakart5 years ago
Maybe you could use the leftovers for greasing door hinges?
JellyWoo6 years ago
woudn't bugs come and attack the hot dogs that are drying?
bugs won't eat that stuff.
So disgusting I just had to read it!!
vandal11385 years ago
Lettuce was a nice touch... Also try old soggy carpet samples, it compliments the oily cardboard essence with a nice fibrous pudding effect.
vandal11385 years ago
And suprisingly enough, if you microwave a slimjim it tastes (and smells) like a fried bologna sandwich.
How would i make a solar food dehydrator? Mostly i need help the aluminum foil, shiny side out?
ewilhelm8 years ago
Tim totally misquoted me! Real quote: "It tastes like oily cardboard!" I managed to swallow some, but only because it was after a hard day of kitesurfing and I was starving.
LOL
JellyWoo6 years ago
that is really cool! must taste good.
baneat6 years ago
Actually a very witty and funny instructable.
I found this Instructable horrifying, funny yet intriguing, maybe my wife will let me try it...then again...
Mikey D6 years ago
OK, I know this was just a joke but we're trying it! We're going to use the dehydrator, but we're trying it!
seasprout7 years ago
I actually loved it. It was probably the seasoning I used. I used fat-free turkey dogs soaked in thai peanut curry sauce overnight, these are extremely delicious and great for snacks!
TimAnderson (author)  seasprout7 years ago
What brand of hotdogs did you use? The fat-free-ness must be important. There was way too much fat left in mine when they were dry.
Pretty sure they were Oscar Meyer Fat Free turkey dogs :)
Lftndbt7 years ago
I was hoping to find a good instructable on making jerky... But i'm sorry that's putrid! LoL! Congrats on being brave enough to try it. though!
static7 years ago
Not a Hot Dogs, not Jerky. This should be in the at your risk category, it definitely isn't food. The only good thing I got by opening up this ibnstructable was being directed to http://www.duckdaotsu.org/valor.html
static7 years ago
Right tell us another big one.
On a serious note. I bought 22 of those old Ronco Food dehydrators off ebay for $150. I am making a killing selling hot dog jerky to gas stations and upper-class restaurants.

For info on how you can buy my jerky go to http://www.bigjerkymanlover.com/hotdogsinmytumtum.html
harmonious18 years ago
Dogs love em, for what its worth.
camscam8 years ago
you sold this to WHO exactly for a dollare an ounce?!?
Illidan8 years ago
how did it turn out?
Wade Tarzia8 years ago
Aw, too bad. I never wavered in my belief that the hot dog is the most perfect food. Fry it, boil it, nuke it, eat it from the fridge -- it asks for nothing specific. Dice it up into a can of baked beans, eat on a bun, spear over a fire, it adapts to all environments. Too bad it is taboo food for me now (I make do unsatisfied on tofu hot dogs -- they are at least a vehicle for the relish and mustard) unless I am at somebody's barbecue, and then I MUST eat hotdogs so that I avoid insulting the universal rules of the host/ess. I had high hopes that sun dried dogs would be scintillating, purifed, betterified in the California sun, which is said to be the best onm Earth. Sigh.....
Crash21088 years ago
Hmmm.., extruded meat paste..
Nate530858 years ago
Yeah, its been a while since this was posted. How did it turn out?
It turned out like hotdogs left in the sun for a week....
nospleen8 years ago
That's exactly right. It tasted suprisingly similar to a slimjim.
ewilhelm8 years ago
Tim totally misquoted me! Real quote: "It tastes like oily cardboard!"
hivoltage8 years ago
dude hotdogs sitting in the sun for a week would have so many flies on it. unless there was some glass. would probably take only a few days with the weather here in southern california lately
DanAdamKOF8 years ago
So... how did this turn out?
meddler8 years ago
People have ideas, not everyone has the style, some of you vetren posters do. It makes me wonder if it would be a waste of time to post anything considering the mean comments i see first time posters get. Constructive advice should be the norm not snotty, pissy comments
TimAnderson (author)  meddler8 years ago
Do it, put it up, and people who like it will find it. You'll get invitations to visit people all over the world. Don't let a few hecklers bug you. At least they care. That "heckler" demographic may someday turn into a "fanatically loyal" demographic. History is full of posthumously appreciated masterpieces made by people who quit when they were criticized. They should have persisted. The only way to make a masterpiece is to make a hundred crapperpieces and hope a few are good.
So almost an entire step is just a silly political statement? Talk about 'jerking your weenie.'
I guess its about time someone else started jerking to at least address the cock fight... how many chickens must turn the other 'gobbler'? :P And there's nothing silly about a political statement... the idea, maybe, but the statement - no. To the Americans -- being able to simply make that statement is what you should be pushing for, if you cast DOWN on anyone making a "silly political statement" - well, that's just unamerican of you. To others -- sorry, under new management. comming soon: "Fortress America" where the motto is: "Tired and Hungry? Go to Turkey" As for the dogs.... Points for uniqueness.... Minus points for umm, the not to pleasing sounding concept :P
1-40 of 50Next »