Transform cheap hotdogs into a dried delicacy with a street value of a dollar an ounce.
Step 1: Digitize Your Dogs
Get the cheapest hotdogs you can find.
Leftovers from a tractor pull or pro wrestling show would be perfect.
We're going to scientifically determine the best thickness using a binary divide- and-conquer strategy.
That means we divide a hotdog by two, then by two again, thus creating two bit dogs.
A Poem; Ode to a Doomed Dog:
Time is wasting
We're all slowly dying
Let's get to slicing
and get those hot dogs drying
While the sun is still shining
Step 2: Like Fallen Heroes They Lie
Metaphors of wartime carnage come to mind.
I've been going to lots of talks by U.S. military analysts and historians.
All their analyses indicate that this war will continue to be "What we call in the field a big mess."
These are the people that get ignored when policy is made.
Then they study the ensuing disasters and give talks about what coding scheme is most valid and what regression analysis etc. is best. Then the questions: "what can we expect?"
Let me summarize: Our dumb jerks in charge have gotten us into a stupid mess. Expect more of that.
Take a break to see tiny photos of the faces of thousands of Americans killed in Iraq: http://www.duckdaotsu.org/valor.html
Ten times that many have been maimed.
Ten times that many Iraqis have been killed and maimed.
Don't worry, I'm done with this gloomy stuff. Let's get back to the details of
HOW TO LEAVE HOT DOGS OUT IN THE SUN