Get the cheapest hotdogs you can find.
Leftovers from a tractor pull or pro wrestling show would be perfect.
We're going to scientifically determine the best thickness using a binary divide- and-conquer strategy.
That means we divide a hotdog by two, then by two again, thus creating two bit dogs.
A Poem; Ode to a Doomed Dog:
Time is wasting
We're all slowly dying
Let's get to slicing
and get those hot dogs drying
While the sun is still shining