Introduction: How Medicated Chest Rub Will Save Your Relationship

Picture of How Medicated Chest Rub Will Save Your Relationship

Let's face it, there has been some tension lately. Every relationship goes through its ups and downs, but let's take the passive route this time, and avoid one of those "we need to talk" confrontations. Ungh.

Luckily, with just a small amount of medicated vaporizing chest rub, your relationship woes can be squashed before any serious conversation needs to happen. Who knew? Thanks Vicks!

Step 1: A Classic Decongestant

Picture of A Classic Decongestant

I'll just get the obvious use out of the way: VapoRub can do wonders for your beauty rest. If your partner is snoring or hacking up a storm all night, just rub a little Vicks on their chest so they'll shut up. You'll be back to counting sheep in no time. 

Otherwise, I hear the couch is relatively comfortable sleeping option. For them, of course.

Step 2: Play Footsie Again

Picture of Play Footsie Again

Does it feel like the magic's gone? Has that spark fizzled? 

Back when you were first dating you couldn't keep your hands, or toes for that matter, off of each other. But now your partner's funky feet couldn't be more of a turn off. Nasty.

While VapoRub was originally intended for your sinuses, it has a surprising amount of uses further south on those sore puppies. If you or your partner have lately kept the socks on while things have been getting hot-and-heavy, it might be time to take further action and stop being embarrassed.

Heels dry and cracked? Tell your loved one to keep these rough soles away from you, and to rub Vicks on them instead. They should heal up after a few treatments - and smell menthol fresh!

While having an athletic partner can certainly have its pluses, athlete's foot is a major no-no. VapoRub clears this up in no time.

Toenail fungus getting you down? Massage chest rub on the affected toenails once or twice daily. They'll eventually turn dark, but don't worry! This just means you're killing the fungus. As you continue to trim your toenails, you'll soon find them growing in free of fungus and in great shape.

Now that you both can wear sandals again, maybe it's time to bring that tropical vacation idea back to the table.

Step 3: Not Tonight Honey, I Have a Headache

Picture of Not Tonight Honey, I Have a Headache, but really.

If you're not making excuses and are actually feeling some pain, rub a little Vick's on your temples, or under your nose if it's a sinus headache. Drink some water, take an aspirin or two, and you should be able to get back to those more enjoyable things in no time.

Step 4: It's Not You, It's Your Cat

Picture of It's Not You, It's Your Cat

Some people are dog people. Some people are cat people. These differences are what make life so exciting.

But when you asked your partner to move in and to bring Mr. Whiskers along, you weren't expecting him to be such a furry feline menace. He's scratching up your couch, peeing all over your carpet, and seems to think of your legs as his personal climbing tree. I know you're angry, but there's no need to take drastic measures.

Cats detest the menthol and eucalyptus smells in Vicks, and as you're starting to detest Miss Kitty and everything she stands for, it seems only fitting to smear chest rub all over those things she loves. She'll steer clear from now on. Just a small amount does wonders, and won't do any more damage to your drapes than that tiny bobcat already has.

Step 5: "You Don't Know Why I'm Crying?!"

Picture of "You Don't Know Why I'm Crying?!"

Sometimes a little drama can go a long way. If you need some added leverage in your relationship, and think feigning tears would do the trick, take page out of Acting 101's book and grab that chest rub. Dab just a tiny bit below your eyes, and as the vapors rise up you'll start tearing. Now whip out those fake sobs and get to negotiating.

Step 6: Lipstick on His Collar?

Picture of Lipstick on His Collar?

If you suspect your man of cheating, perhaps it's time to take matters into your own hands.

Many professional race horse owners swear by chest rub as a way to keep their male horses focused on their training. When spring is in the air, and all the fine young lady horses are emitting powerful estrus pheromones, many trainers will rub Vicks on the males' noses. The strong medicated smell completely overpowers those natural feminine perfumes, and the boys can get back to business.

If he's been acting suspicious lately, but you don't feel like asking the hard question, rub some VapoRub under his nose and he'll be your personal stallion once more.

Step 7: Proceed With Caution

Take some care when working with chest rub, because you don't want to get Vicks in your eye (or any orifice / sensitive place for that matter. Yes, I'm talking to you folks who really want to get creative with this mentholated rub. I know what you're thinking...and it's a horrible idea). Chest rub can cause some serious damage if used improperly. VapoRub contains camphor, among other things, which is poisonous if ingested. There are people out there who swear by Vicks as a cure for acne, paper cuts, splinters, chapped lips, or even hemorrhoids. As always, please consult your doctor before self-medicating.


Seezor (author)2011-03-21

My wife and I did this by mistake once. I applied some vicks to my chest and neck then went to bed. Long story short we got frisky and I started sweating, The vicks enhanced sweat made its way down my chest and to her "tootoot". This sent her running to the bathroom to find a wash cloth. I guess if you try that you need to make sure it's not irritating to your partner.

nanaverm (author)Seezor2016-03-07

Imagine hot pepper oil on your "parts". That's what it feels like. Been there, done that accidently like you two. Not fun!

VagsmaCutter (author)Seezor2011-10-27

I vaguely remember one Sunday, many moons ago, an episode of Popeye, where Bluto switched Popeye's jar of Spermaceti with a jar of Vap-o rub (this was before Olive Oil) Needless to say, later, after Popeye had liberally applied his usual dose, some eventually made its' way to his, "tootoot" which, not surprisingly, kind of rubbed him the wrong way. He then proceeded to administer the standard whoopin to Bluto that, as we all know, marked the end of cartoon. The End "tootoot"

CricketRadioVT (author)2016-03-04

Rubbing on the soles of the feet works much better...

swaxman (author)2016-02-27

enjoyed your photos Author

swaxman (author)2016-02-27

enjoyed your photos Author

swaxman (author)2016-02-27

these comments arnt a place for captain hindsites & his possi of feeble throwbacks. fyi btw lmfao rolf harris

mshonnie (author)2016-02-26

Yuck hate the smell of Vicks my mother use to put that on my chest when I had a cold with a stuffy nose, never knew it could be used to help someone stop snoring have to try that on the husband, hahahah, hope he don't try to lick it off, hahaha during his sleep, hahaha

prickly vegan (author)2016-02-26

Just FYI, a few drops of eucalyptus or tea tree essential oils can accomplish these tasks as well. Cheaper and cleaner. The foot rub can be done with petroleum jelly, which is the base of chest rubs. One should be aware that petroleum jelly is a plastic of sorts created as a waste product of petroleum refinement, as in petrol/gasoline.

MikeW15 (author)2016-02-26

Like others mentioned, I can attest to it stopping coughs by slathering it on the soles of your feet. Learned that trick this year.

the norm (author)2016-02-26

Sheep farmers who have a new lamb with no mother, and what another mother to nurse it, will put vicks on the prospective mother's nose and on the baby lamb. The baby does not smell wrong, so it must be right. Adoption approved.

tiger12506 (author)2016-02-26

About cats not liking Vicks... that's not universally true. For example, I have a cat that takes immediate interest when I rub it on the back of my hands, and then proceeds to sit there and try to lick it off.

mickryobe (author)2016-02-25

Just a friendly correction. This is an error that appears repeatedly.

"...your relationship woes can be squashed..."

Surely you do not want to squash anyone. It's too messy.

Next time try "quashed". I am sure the following is what you meant.

quash |kwôSH, kwäSH|

verb [ with obj. ]

reject or void, especially by legal procedure: his conviction was quashed on appeal.

  • put an end to; suppress: a hospital executive quashed rumors that nursing staff will lose jobs.
  • printjunky (author)mickryobe2016-02-25

    Actually ...
    This reminds me that every time I hear someone use the word jive, to refer to two things being in agreement or working smoothly together, that I think they probably mean, or are referencing the word jibe. Same for saying track instead of tack - coincidentally another sailing term - to mean path, especially a change in path and to be in accord along that path (or course or policy or means). But, while I might be correct about the word they are referencing (even if it's unknowingly), the fact is, the other word is a perfectly acceptable substitute. We can be on the same track, or the same tack. If two things jibe, they also jive. And so it is with quash and squash. Squash includes in it's definitions the idea of diminishing something to basically nothing. In fact, Websters considers them synonyms. After 19 years working with words (journalism) I've found that flexibility more often leads to better writing than rigidity (and few are more rigid than a newspaper copy editor with an imperative to orthodoxy).

    Roguer (author)printjunky2016-02-25

    Good reply.

    KT14 (author)mickryobe2016-02-25

    Saw that also. Great response. :)

    KT14 (author)mickryobe2016-02-25

    Saw that also. Great response. :)

    claudepotvin (author)2016-02-25

    Vaporub can be inhaled with hot steam just like normal vapes. Since VapoRub ointment is an oil-based medication, it should not be used under or inside the nose or inside the mouth, and it should not be swallowed. Any oil-based product can get into the lungs if used improperly

    My 60-ish next-door neighbor recently related how her father used to roll a gob of Vapo-rub in sugar and give it to his kids as a lozenge when they were ill. She said they loved them (because of the sugar) and they worked!

    In the Sunday paper's "pharmacy" column, many people write to say that rubbing Vapo-Rub on the soles of the feet of a cougher, covering with socks, and going to bed will yield a restful night with nary a single cough.

    OWK000. (author)2016-02-25

    It's squashing "woes" not humans that we are after here. This is my favorite instructable yet. It made me smile. I am a great fan of Vicks vapo-rub myself--an absolute must-have nose ointment for colds and helps keep the spring sinuses clean.

    C-B (author)2016-02-25

    Is that the 'Head in a Jar' Guy in step 6?

    pmshah (author)2016-02-25

    Do you know very same - composition wise - Vicks is sold as Ayurvedic Medicine in India to circumvent taxes ? All they have done is used Ayurvedic names for the components.

    ChgoBrian (author)2016-02-25

    For those curious enough to wonder about buckley's cough syrup with camphor, here's the maker's own ingredient list...

    KillerGorilla (author)2012-09-29

    I heard that some CSIs use vicks if they're going into a room with rotting dead people.. Just rub a little under their nose and they're perfectly fine.

    nancyjohns (author)KillerGorilla2015-08-20

    Maybe I could use some when I'm cleaning up the fallen rotten fermented pares around my pare tree...

    CuspissN (author)nancyjohns2016-02-25

    She was paring a pair of pears. You gotta love English.

    JackC59 (author)nancyjohns2015-12-08


    buzzclick (author)JackC592016-02-25

    *pair ;)

    CuspissN (author)pmshah2016-02-25

    Isn't Vicks mentioned in the Kama Sutra?

    Machhindra Mali (author)2016-02-25

    Please don't use without advice of your Doctor ! Machhindra Mali Aurangabad,

    spark master (author)2016-02-25

    Similar to the Horse works out things,

    but a dab in each nostril as you perform autopsy's or recover dead things like they do in CSI.....oops too much tv for me, must do more stick carving and shoot more pellets!

    nick222 (author)2016-02-25

    Step 5 LOL, that's dramatic (but creative) :-)

    AllenS1 (author)2016-02-25

    Step #5...basically saying that if you want to get your way, instead of sitting down and talking it through like adults you're going to use emotional abuse to get your way?

    dmnhunt3r (author)2011-03-20

    nonsense, vapor rub is the best lubricant to use, it's even better than KY itself

    PenguinAngel (author)dmnhunt3r2015-06-18

    Yes just a little on a woman's clit can work wonders. warm climatic sex more then one LOL Scotch or Whiskey work too!!!

    daltonjcw (author)dmnhunt3r2011-03-23

    Ow. You are an evil person. You are going to confuse some poor teenager into jacking off with it, and then dying. You wonderfully awfully wonderful person. Cheers, fellow evil-doer!

    Thundermoon99 (author)daltonjcw2012-09-22

    i was sick once so i tried some of it because we had it in the house and then my balls itched so i reached down and scratched them and it burned like hell for a good hour or so

    kludge000 (author)Thundermoon992014-11-23

    I did something similar but i was grinding chili peppers at the time..., so yeah I 'm right there with you dude

    msdrpepper (author)Thundermoon992014-11-23

    Ehhhh ouch. I can't speak to that experience personally but it did burn my girlybits too. Maybe that's what Elvis was referring to in "Burning Love"? A-ThankYou! ThankYouVeryMuch

    msdrpepper (author)daltonjcw2014-11-23

    Hey, it's truly a "once in a lifetime experience". That's why it is not recommended!!! But yea, there's a definitive "ahHOOOOah" sensation when you realize "uh oh I forgot to wash my hands!!"

    okiedokie (author)daltonjcw2011-12-07

    He wont die from jacking off with vick, he will just get a *REALLY FRESH* relief... and maybe his penis will fall off... but he wont die!

    ameece (author)daltonjcw2011-08-09

    That's the magic of trolling. Well done, my friend, well done >:D

    dmnhunt3r (author)2011-03-21

    i am not at all a saddist, i just think personal experience would teach whoever tried it a very good lesson in trusting someone on the interwebs

    msdrpepper (author)dmnhunt3r2014-11-23

    ...or at very least, teach them the importance of washing hands after using products like that, before handling private parts??

    msdrpepper (author)2014-11-23

    Oh NO!! That will give you a real burning fire. If you need a personal lubricant, Virgil coconut oil is totally awesome. Unfortunately a photo-illustrated Instructable on using coconut oil as a personal lubricant probably violates some standards for family decency (but how else do families get started??)... ;)

    msdrpepper (author)msdrpepper2014-11-23

    virgin coconut oil, not Virgil. My Iphone corrupted my typing. Let's leave "Virgil" out of this. He has enough issues I'm sure!! ;)

    Mahbub01 (author)2012-01-16

    Thank you for your chest rub idea but need to be taken doctor advice

    Regards , Dona
    How to cure hemorrhoids

    CimarronWarrior (author)2012-01-08

    I have never seen a cat the detests Vicks but they LOVE it. Put some on and I'm fighting to keep them from licking it off my chest.

    ImmortalSoFar (author)2011-03-20

    To expand on the "getting creative" element, not only don't put it where it shouldn't go but be very careful where you put your hands afterwards. If you can still smell it on your hands, no toutchy! (Or even going to the toilet)

    sconner1 (author)ImmortalSoFar2011-12-14

    Not only that but,
    latex + petroleum = no more latex
    no more latex = the 20 year oops

    About This Instructable




    Bio: Former Instructables employee. Living in San Francisco amidst the fog. I love getting my hands dirty by taking on new projects, developing unique skills and ... More »
    More by kazmataz:Kraftwerk CostumeFeatured Author: emilyvanleemputFeatured Author: eric3dee
    Add instructable to: