How Medicated Chest Rub Will Save Your Relationship





Introduction: How Medicated Chest Rub Will Save Your Relationship

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Let's face it, there has been some tension lately. Every relationship goes through its ups and downs, but let's take the passive route this time, and avoid one of those "we need to talk" confrontations. Ungh.

Luckily, with just a small amount of medicated vaporizing chest rub, your relationship woes can be squashed before any serious conversation needs to happen. Who knew? Thanks Vicks!

Step 1: A Classic Decongestant

I'll just get the obvious use out of the way: VapoRub can do wonders for your beauty rest. If your partner is snoring or hacking up a storm all night, just rub a little Vicks on their chest so they'll shut up. You'll be back to counting sheep in no time. 

Otherwise, I hear the couch is relatively comfortable sleeping option. For them, of course.

Step 2: Play Footsie Again

Does it feel like the magic's gone? Has that spark fizzled? 

Back when you were first dating you couldn't keep your hands, or toes for that matter, off of each other. But now your partner's funky feet couldn't be more of a turn off. Nasty.

While VapoRub was originally intended for your sinuses, it has a surprising amount of uses further south on those sore puppies. If you or your partner have lately kept the socks on while things have been getting hot-and-heavy, it might be time to take further action and stop being embarrassed.

Heels dry and cracked? Tell your loved one to keep these rough soles away from you, and to rub Vicks on them instead. They should heal up after a few treatments - and smell menthol fresh!

While having an athletic partner can certainly have its pluses, athlete's foot is a major no-no. VapoRub clears this up in no time.

Toenail fungus getting you down? Massage chest rub on the affected toenails once or twice daily. They'll eventually turn dark, but don't worry! This just means you're killing the fungus. As you continue to trim your toenails, you'll soon find them growing in free of fungus and in great shape.

Now that you both can wear sandals again, maybe it's time to bring that tropical vacation idea back to the table.

Step 3: Not Tonight Honey, I Have a Headache, but really.

If you're not making excuses and are actually feeling some pain, rub a little Vick's on your temples, or under your nose if it's a sinus headache. Drink some water, take an aspirin or two, and you should be able to get back to those more enjoyable things in no time.

Step 4: It's Not You, It's Your Cat

Some people are dog people. Some people are cat people. These differences are what make life so exciting.

But when you asked your partner to move in and to bring Mr. Whiskers along, you weren't expecting him to be such a furry feline menace. He's scratching up your couch, peeing all over your carpet, and seems to think of your legs as his personal climbing tree. I know you're angry, but there's no need to take drastic measures.

Cats detest the menthol and eucalyptus smells in Vicks, and as you're starting to detest Miss Kitty and everything she stands for, it seems only fitting to smear chest rub all over those things she loves. She'll steer clear from now on. Just a small amount does wonders, and won't do any more damage to your drapes than that tiny bobcat already has.

Step 5: "You Don't Know Why I'm Crying?!"

Sometimes a little drama can go a long way. If you need some added leverage in your relationship, and think feigning tears would do the trick, take page out of Acting 101's book and grab that chest rub. Dab just a tiny bit below your eyes, and as the vapors rise up you'll start tearing. Now whip out those fake sobs and get to negotiating.

Step 6: Lipstick on His Collar?

If you suspect your man of cheating, perhaps it's time to take matters into your own hands.

Many professional race horse owners swear by chest rub as a way to keep their male horses focused on their training. When spring is in the air, and all the fine young lady horses are emitting powerful estrus pheromones, many trainers will rub Vicks on the males' noses. The strong medicated smell completely overpowers those natural feminine perfumes, and the boys can get back to business.

If he's been acting suspicious lately, but you don't feel like asking the hard question, rub some VapoRub under his nose and he'll be your personal stallion once more.

Step 7: Proceed With Caution

Take some care when working with chest rub, because you don't want to get Vicks in your eye (or any orifice / sensitive place for that matter. Yes, I'm talking to you folks who really want to get creative with this mentholated rub. I know what you're thinking...and it's a horrible idea). Chest rub can cause some serious damage if used improperly. VapoRub contains camphor, among other things, which is poisonous if ingested. There are people out there who swear by Vicks as a cure for acne, paper cuts, splinters, chapped lips, or even hemorrhoids. As always, please consult your doctor before self-medicating.



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    I don’t understand the last one about putting it under your mates nose? Is that so he is not destracted by the smell of other women? Would that not also make him not be able to smell your own pheromones? Please elaborate as I would love for him to regain his super stallion powers.

    Camphor is the same stuff moth ball are made of and are poisonous if ingested..Oddly enough, camphor is also found in most medicated chap sticks and lip balms...

    Last time I checked moth balls are made of naphthalene. Wait, guess I'm wrong. They changed to something else.

    Camphor is a plant product and in general, plant products are going to be more expensive than petroleum derivatives so it's not really in the mothball manufacturers' interest to use camphor if a cheaper synthetic is available. I'm sure it was used once upon a time to repel moths but not any more. People just say the mothball smell is camphor because it's gotten stuck in our culture.

    Camphor isn't toxic in SMALL quantities. There's a phrase "the dose makes the poison". If the Wikipedia article is reasonably accurate, you'd have to eat a teaspoon of pure camphor to kill yourself. So keep the ointment out of reach of children and pets, but no problem rubbing it on your chest.

    Most anything isn't going to kill you in "small" doses, and a lot of things that are considered poisonous would take a lot more than a teaspoon to kill ya, but it's still strange that they would use it in something like chapstick since it can also cause more irritation on your chapped lips.... It was, in fact, my childs pediatrician that pointed this out to me. And in fact Camphor is considered an insect repellent and is still used in some moth balls, but naphthalene is no longer used because of it's flamable qualities.. I stay away from mothballs all together. Cedar is just as efficient and doesn't require harmful chemicals..I do use vapor rub because nothing does the job quite as well. Considering these facts, wouldn't it seem that it would also make a great outdoor bug repellent? It seems we could fight the mosquitos and the seasonal congestion at the same time..:)

    Mothballs and liquid WD40 added to your gas actually ups the octane of your gas. For itchy mosquito bites, try warming a cup of water in the microwave for 2 min. When the temperature of the cup is tolerable, hold it against your bite til it cools down and wallah no more itchiness! Also works for acne. There used to be a device for this but it never caught on. It actually works if you can maintain the heat for 60 seconds.

    My wife and I did this by mistake once. I applied some vicks to my chest and neck then went to bed. Long story short we got frisky and I started sweating, The vicks enhanced sweat made its way down my chest and to her "tootoot". This sent her running to the bathroom to find a wash cloth. I guess if you try that you need to make sure it's not irritating to your partner.

    Imagine hot pepper oil on your "parts". That's what it feels like. Been there, done that accidently like you two. Not fun!

    I vaguely remember one Sunday, many moons ago, an episode of Popeye, where Bluto switched Popeye's jar of Spermaceti with a jar of Vap-o rub (this was before Olive Oil) Needless to say, later, after Popeye had liberally applied his usual dose, some eventually made its' way to his, "tootoot" which, not surprisingly, kind of rubbed him the wrong way. He then proceeded to administer the standard whoopin to Bluto that, as we all know, marked the end of cartoon. The End "tootoot"

    Rubbing on the soles of the feet works much better...

    enjoyed your photos Author