How Not To

Step 36 Nasty Shake

Sometime in August when it gets way too hot, I realize I'm allowed to eat nothing but milkshakes. I do that. I change the recipe every time I make one so it'll be a new experience. After a week or two of slow change, I'm making the drinkable equivalent of experimental jazz. A drink that only the maker can stand. One summer I got to the end, pure abstraction, a milkshake so vile I couldn't even stand it.
The orange-peel-buttermilk milkshake.

Victor did a similar thing with sprout shakes. I never managed to make a sprout shake that was anything but an ordeal. Here's what Victor says about his sprout-shake program:

Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2003 13:18:23 -0500 (EST)
From: Victor W Brar
Subject: green lentils

So I've tried garbanzo beans, black eyed beans and green lentils. The
Garbanzo beans grew, but they weren't very pretty and never really got
leaves at the end of their sprouts, also they rotted really quickly if I
didn't air them out and wash them a couple of times a day. The black eyed
beans didn't really grow. But these green lentils have been my life for
the past couple of weeks. They grow really quick (1.5 days), they are
pretty resistant to rotting, and if they dry out its easy to get them
back to life. I can also tell that they are very healthy for me because
they taste like shit. I've mainly been blending them into sprout juice.

To find the healthiest possible recipie, I've just been trying to find
what tastes the worst. After a long process of trial and error, I've come
across something which I think is the healthiest thing on the planet.
Here it is:
2 cups of sprout juice with
3-4 tablespoons of that choclate protein powder - weight gainer stuff
2 tablespoons soy sauce
5 saltine crackers

There it is. You might as well spit in there a couple of times before you
blend it up, I can't see it making any difference. This stuff tastes so
bad, its like the shit of an animal that only eats shit of other animals.
But you'll get big athletic thighs and live a long life.

Usually, I can't really handle that. Mostly I just drink sprout juice
with some peanut butter blended in. I've found that kills the gag reflex
pretty well.

Whats the high score over there for the Trogdor video game? I've gotten
2,200.

Victor

Comments

[awesomekitteh]

i got 427,195

[attilam]

I got to 1,125. I was eventually defeated by swords and boredom. :)

[codongolev]

I like the random trogdor reference.