How Not to Lose Respect on the Internet

How Not to Lose Respect on the Internet
Do you know what drives me crazy? People who write things like "your stupid" when posting comments on internet forums, youtube, digg, and anywhere else that has a comment box. As a lover of the English language, it pains me to see minor atrocities of this sort on a daily basis. This instructable is not meant as a panacea for the internet's grammatical difficulties, and as such it is by no means comprehensive, but every little bit helps.

If I am legitimately wrong on something, let me know and I will make every effort to correct my mistake. In such instances, I would appreciate it if you would quote me chapter and verse of The Bedford Handbook (6th Edition), or at least give me the error code; this is not necessary, but it would lay my mind to rest.

Again, this is by no means comprehensive, so cut me some slack.
 
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Step 1The "Shift" Key is Your Friend

The \"Shift\" Key is Your Friend
One of the things that bugs me is when I see sentences that do not start with a capital letter. Seriously, there is no good reason not to start your sentences with capital letters, and people won't immediately lose a little bit of respect for whatever it is you have to say if you use capital letters properly. If for some reason both of the shift keys on your keyboard are broken, the best thing you can do is to abandon the keyboard immediately; it is no good to you anymore. As a stopgap, you can use the "Caps Lock" key, but please remember to disable caps lock after the first letter, writing in "ALL CAPITALS" is just as bad as never using capital letters at all.

Another important thing to remember is that proper names and the first-person pronoun are capitalized; I do not care what Paris Hilton says, proper grammar is important.
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253 comments
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Nov 1, 2011. 6:49 PMilpug says:
I painstakingly read your entire Instructable, looking for grammatical errors.

I just had this insane desire to tell you that I found only one, then refuse to tell you where it was, but then I realized that would be rather mean.

In other news, great work. Thanks for helping to make this site a better place.
Aug 24, 2011. 1:05 PMxinistrom says:
zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ ;)
Apr 9, 2009. 2:02 PMKazeem says:
Despite this instructable being rather boring, and over the top, I too can see your point, and it annoys me as much as you when everyone decides to use English incorrectly. Great guide to how to be grammatically correct, I only have one issue with it, and I don't know if it affects everyone (did you see that? I used one of those horrible affect/effect words...), but my Firefox tries to correct me so that I spell everything the American way... eg. 'centre' or 'center' Or 'Litre' or 'Liter'
Jun 15, 2011. 10:19 AMlove4pds says:
In tools/options/content/choose languages and add whatever you like, you can add many different English choices including en-ca. sorry for the grammar but capitalizing is hard for me due to disability. plus I try to pick my battles and this isn't worth it.
Hope this helps Kazeem :)
Dec 14, 2009. 5:07 PMRock Soldier says:
I think one problem with the trolling thing is,
They don't know what trolling is, so when they do troll, it's not on purpose.
They're not trolling, or they think they do, so they continue thinking they're doing nothing wrong
They are trolling, but they don't care if people ignore them or not.

May 8, 2011. 1:58 PMRoflolommo says:
Abortions should be mandatory and free at Walmart.
Nov 15, 2008. 11:38 PMspecopps117 says:
People who find bad internet grammar need a life seriously its the internet not school... Besides if you can understand it why bother correcting it {ONLINE}!!! BTW(By-the-way for noobs, and %#$%s) Capital letters are for emphasis, and yelling and jerks or complete morons... (a very common occurence) Theres my point and this has been a rant with specopps117 ....
Jul 29, 2009. 9:04 PMRotten194 says:
What are you, 9? Bad graMmar and sPallimng make English increasingly difficult to read. I do not enjoy 1337speak, spending a minute or two struggling over what they said to find they were saying something easily expressed in plain English, makes me want to shove my fist up their @#%. Same with bad GrAmAmAR and Spalling. Would you write your English paper like you do your forum posts? Do you want your English teacher to think you're smart? Do you want the interwebz to think you're smart? Then act smart.
May 8, 2011. 1:56 PMRoflolommo says:
Everyone uses leet to mock those that actually use leet. If you don't agree with that I've got some bad news for you. Everyone you've been talking to has been laughing their asses off at you.
example: we say lol!!!111!!11 to mock those that are actually too terrible of a typist to lift the one key up before the shift.
Stuff like "where r u is" understandable so are abbreviations like afk and such. But anything where numbers become letters is either for emphasis, because your a noob, or because people are making fun of the noobs that talk like that.
Dec 2, 2010. 2:42 PMspecopps117 says:
What is this? A formal writing? A letter to the President that isn't worth sh*t?
A judicial report?

I didn't think so! On video games I only type like dis 2 save time. You have to think about what they said?
If 17s l31k [)16 then I understand... But if I typ3 lik3 th1s i's ok
hough I dont anymore... 09 was long ago
Dec 18, 2008. 8:59 PMNinjaSloth says:
I think we would be great friends....
Dec 20, 2008. 12:54 PMspecopps117 says:
possibly...
May 8, 2011. 2:58 AMkwhelpton says:
I have to say, that talking like this ---. 17s l31k [)16 means that no f*cker understands you luv, and that's coming from a 16 year old. Plus, it's old and outdated, no one talks like that anymore, everyone else is normal...
Jun 3, 2011. 3:10 PMspecopps117 says:
Your right... I admit it... I have no idea as to why I was arguing against you... I recent had a change of thought that lead me to this...
Jul 5, 2010. 4:51 PMgeodez says:
*Shakes hand with shift key*
Apr 10, 2010. 8:29 PMmake things says:
great googly moogly i caint spel rite or use commas
Jul 29, 2009. 8:55 PMRotten194 says:
If a person's name ends with "s" and you wish to show possession, there is no "s" after the apostrophe. E.G.,if the person is named Bobs, it would be Bobs' paper, not Bobs's paper. Sorry, that just drives me CRAZY on the internet.
Dec 15, 2009. 6:21 PMVinnyVanGogh says:
 In other words one would say "Chris' paper..." instead of "Chris's paper..."??
Jul 29, 2009. 9:50 PMcasey321b says:
You do that...
Nov 25, 2009. 3:05 PMSe1f_Distruct says:
asome!

Lol
Nov 2, 2009. 11:39 AMrobotguy4 says:
Right click (or ctrl click on a Mac) the subject bar and select "Check Spelling."

Also, some misspelling and abbreviations are usually ok in cases where typing fast is a boon, such as computer games.
Oct 31, 2009. 8:30 PMstatic says:
 No doubt proper grammar, spelling is absolutely essential when it comes factual, legal, and technical writing. Having learned long ago not to sweat the small crap I don't. That doesn't mean I cut the pompous blogger the same slack I do the harried DIY trying to document  projects between life's more important responsibilities. I use spell check whenever available, but there are times when the online, and my dictionary don't produce words that make the spell check happy, so I assume there is going to be someone unhappy with the spelling choice I end up forcing through.  Spell checkers don't catch typos that result in a correctly spelled word that is not relevant at all. :) Online and print grammar guides are confusing as hell. One result being, if the initial consolation results in a grammatical error, the person may be doomed to repeat that error from here on out.
Jun 24, 2008. 2:13 AMHamatoKameko says:
"To put it another way, don't use contractions." There is a distinct irony here. ;) And you know, even though I've always had a talent for spelling and grammar, to this day (I'm 24), I have trouble with "it's" and "its." I know the rule, but when I'm writing/typing, I always use the wrong one.
Oct 31, 2009. 4:07 PMHycro says:
Yeah, I do the same from time to time, though I usually manage to catch it and correct it. Half of what I type is probably riddled with grammatical errors, but then again, often the reply I receive is worse...
May 19, 2008. 6:35 AMTURNERO says:
I'm not sure you're right about the "single quote" in British English, I think it's the same as American English. You could very well be right but I'm pretty sure when I was at school they taught us to use "double quotes" for speech.
Oct 31, 2009. 4:01 PMHycro says:
In Canadian English, we were always taught to use the "double quote" to indicate speech...
May 19, 2008. 3:27 PMross353 says:
its "double quotes " and single for nameing something such as a movie or a play 'The Truman Show'
Jun 21, 2008. 12:22 PMbranchporter says:
The most frequent mistake that I spot on the 'net is the improper usage of "there", "their", and "they're". This is so fundamental to proper English usage! Do they no longer teach the difference in school? I have seen others who point out a person's grammatical errors, sometimes helpfully and sometimes not. They are usually called "language police", or much worse!
Jul 29, 2009. 8:58 PMRotten194 says:
Grammar Nazi: My Grammar is gooder.
Jul 29, 2009. 9:49 PMcasey321b says:
I don't care if anyone is a grammar Nazi your just pissing me off. Maybe its your avatar usually I misjudge the way people are talking because of the emotion of their avatar... If so I'm sorry but still its annoying... Lol i love how everyone is using capitals and better grammar in these comments. coinkeeding perhaps i think not! sorry, L.O.L. >.< JK
Jul 29, 2009. 8:33 PMannrrr says:
Who made your cartoon?
Jun 3, 2009. 11:34 PMFoolOfATook39 says:
This -ible is pure win because it includes a comic from xkcd.
Jun 4, 2009. 1:19 PMfwjs28 says:
EPIC!
Jun 4, 2009. 12:30 PMnel_rambling says:
Also, when indicating possession by a group, place the apostrophe after the 's', i.e. 'the ball belonging to the boys' becomes 'the boys' ball'. As a native English speaker, I've found that single quotes are increasingly used, whilst italics denote titles (of books, for example), although either is acceptable. Speech marks, or double quotes, should, however, never be used for titles of things.
May 1, 2009. 1:27 PMmattme says:
HELLO;; THANK'S FRO YOU'RE TIP'S ABOUT TEH SHIFT KEY, ITS EASIAR 2 TYPE NOW, I RED ABOUT THIS IN MANUAL OF COMPHUTING. I WOULD LIKE SHARE YOUR HANDS
May 1, 2009. 2:51 PMwizerd 745 says:
vERY FUNNY! :-)
Jan 11, 2009. 4:38 AMMeroki says:
im gonna have to agree with the guy below me. it shouldn't really matter at all i mean fur christs sake its the damn no offense twards you, i am by no means ignorant i can type properly if i so wish for liek a formal letter or something serious but if i can get my point across otherwise then its just a waste of time and plus i add emotes behind everything i type...im just restraining now because i still have some dignity but remember... TEH INTERNETS IS SRS BSNS :3
Apr 9, 2009. 2:03 PMKazeem says:
Indeed, the internets are incredibly srs bsns. Whilst also being a series of tubes, and having already charged it's lazor to over 9000.
Apr 12, 2009. 10:13 AMMeroki says:
ftw.
Apr 4, 2009. 8:28 AMpestan says:
I don eed yo speel chack me spollong is ine enuogh tank u!
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Author:TheMadTinker(The Real Me)
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