Step 1: Create a Blog
Step 2: Fangirl Over Your Interests
Go completely crazy over the things you enjoy. Dedicate your blog to the celebrity that you adore, listen to every song from your favorite band, read the same book 5 times, decorate your room in the style of a TV show you love to watch or draw fan art of your favorite movie character. Generally freak out about the things you're into.
Step 3: Develop Poor Sleep Habits
To truly embrace the blogging lifestyle, get as little sleep as you can stand, or, if you prefer, sleep during the day and stay up all night. Drinking coffee or soda will surely keep you awake for a few more hours of scouring the internet for that hilarious YouTube video you saw 3 years ago!
Step 4: Maintain an Unhealthy Diet
No one can see you from behind the computer screen, so take advantage of pigging out. Pizza, ramen noodles, chocolate, soda, snacks, and candy are popular favorites of Blogger Cuisine. You'll start eating fruits and vegetables.... later.
Step 5: Avoid People
If you plan on being a successful blogger, social activity should be low on your priority list. Stay in your room, don't go to parties or social events and only make contact when the internet connection goes out or you need more money. Do not go out in crowds, shake hands with strangers, or be the first person to try and start a friendship. (Especially stay away from the last one, new friends will want to hang out and take you away from your comfortable home!)
Step 6: Get Some Exercise
With all the junk food and endless hours of sitting with little to no motion besides mouse-clicks, it is best to get *some* exercise so that you don't turn into a giant potato. I recommend moving to the other side of the bed/couch, or for the brave bloggers, doing a jumping jack or two just to get your (most likely cholesterol filled) blood moving.