Introduction: How to Build a Snowman
A process long shrouded in mystery, we will demonstrate the arduous task of building a snowman. It won't be an easy job, but I'll guide you through the many complex steps of bringing life to snow.
Step 1: Locate Snow
The first, and most crucial, stage in this endeavor is to locate a suitable work area. You'll need enough snow to build the snowman, and enough room to work in. As you can see this front yard has both. Below is an example of a non-suitable work area.
Step 2: Assemble Materials
A respectable snowman wouldn't dream of being seen without proper attire. That's why you'll need to gather a few things. A basic snowman will have coal eyes, a coal mouth, coal buttons, a carrot nose, a hat, scarf, and gloves. We've also experimented with bacon mouths, cookie eyes, and cucumber noses, which we found quite delicious. These should not be attempted until you've gotten a good grasp on this "Snowman" concept.
Step 3: Building the Body: Stage One
For a snowman to stand upright and bravely face the world, he'll need a solid base. To do this you must first make a large snowball. Pack it tightly and roll it along the ground. It will soon accumulate more snow and begin to grow. Once it's reached around 2-3 feet wide your snowman will be ready for stage two of the body.
Step 4: Building the Body: Stage Two
The second ball contains a snowman's heart, his soul. It must be carefully crafted with the utmost care. This is done the same way as the first ball only about 2/3 the size. You have to keep in mind that you'll have to be able to lift it up onto the first ball, so don't make it too large. This is no task for those who are weak in body or mind. If unable to lift it, find a big person.
Step 5: Building the Body: Stage Three
Once again you'll need to roll a ball of snow. This will be the smallest one and won't be too hard to lift. The big person you found can leave now, he won't be needed. Assure him that you value him as both a friend and a worker. This will ensure his return the next time you need to do any heavy lifting.
Step 6: Cleaning Up
As I mentioned earlier our snowman was covered in a shaggy coat of leaves, due to my laziness during the fall. This can be remedied by brushing them off, and then covering the remaining ones with clean snow. Your snowman will soon be neat and tidy, ready to receive his face.
Step 7: Sculpting the Face: Who Is Your Snowman?
This is perhaps the most difficult step in creating a snowman. A snowman's face displays his character, his integrity. Don't settle for a stereotypical smile. Give him an expression of depth and mystery. Perhaps an expression of anguish, developed after years of trying to fit into this world which is so unaccepting of snow people. Or perhaps just a simple smile. Your choice.
Step 8: Accessorize!
While being very strong and noble creatures, snowmen can also be quite fashion minded. Do your new friend a favor and deck him in the latest hats, scarves, and gloves. Of course he'll need arms if he's going flaunt his new gloves. Believe it or not snowmen arms can sometimes be found strewn about carelessly on the ground! If you find none there, they've also been known to sprout from trees.
Step 9: Enjoying Your New Snowman
Congratulations! Your snowman is complete. Gaze upon your hard work, it has paid off in the form of a new frigid friend. Snowmen are not content to sit in a yard their entire lives. Take him out. Show him the world.
But this must all wait for tomorrow. By now you're probably looking forward to getting back inside. Don't worry about the snowman, they enjoy a cool climate. Look out at your new frosty ally, and enjoy your hot coco.