Introduction: How to Cost a Presidental Campaign $1 & 5 Minutes
Want to undermine a candidate's race? Help keep some one out of the White House? In this Ible, I'll show you how to do just that...
Step 1: Name This Step... Step 1 I Supose...
Well first off you gotta get yourself a letter with a postage paid response/donation envelope of the desired party. For some reason, the poor confused folks over at the Democratic National Committee felt the urge to ask for my support. Considering I'm not even old enough to vote, and the voting members of my family are registered Republicans, I found this quite odd. Anyways, I was about to throw it out when I recalled a scheme to irritate junk mail (send them back there stuff in the pre-paid envelopes). Hmm.. fiendish...
So anyways, get yourself a letter, and crack it open, and grab a pen.
Step 2: Step Numero Deux
Right, go through the letter from the candidate. If it's from Obsama, it'll be filled with grammatical errors, point these out. If from McCain... doodle on it!
After you have finished graffiting all over it, sign anonymously.
Step 3: El Stepo Tres
Now grab that little donation thingy. Write in the current price of First class postage, with a big whoppin' minus sign in front of it. See according to what I've been told, you don't have to pay for pre-paid envelopes until they've been used, so you just cost them $(insert price of varying postage)
Step 4: Phore
Slip all of this into that lovely prepaid envelope, seal with a dampness other than your tounge (leave no evidence!!), and pop into a mailbox many miles from your home. In a week or two, somebody's gonna open it, read it, maybe laugh about it, then throw it away. See? You just cost them time and money! Feel good about yourself! Throw a party! Drink Red Bull! Fix our country! Down with Big Brother!! whoops wrong cheer...
As stated, this same technique can be used on other junk mail, or any political party's money mongering.
Live long and prosper, which means when the Secret Service turns up at your door, run...
We have a be nice policy.
Please be positive and constructive.