How To Cost a Presidental Campaign $1 & 5 minutes

Want to undermine a candidate's race? Help keep some one out of the White House? In this Ible, I'll show you how to do just that...

Step 1 Name this step... Step 1 I supose...

Well first off you gotta get yourself a letter with a postage paid response/donation envelope of the desired party. For some reason, the poor confused folks over at the Democratic National Committee felt the urge to ask for my support. Considering I'm not even old enough to vote, and the voting members of my family are registered Republicans, I found this quite odd. Anyways, I was about to throw it out when I recalled a scheme to irritate junk mail (send them back there stuff in the pre-paid envelopes). Hmm.. fiendish...

So anyways, get yourself a letter, and crack it open, and grab a pen.

Comments

[ThatKnottyguy]

Put small rocks in it.

[jbarton3]

Salary of retired US Presidents ............$180,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of House/Senate .......................$174,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of Speaker of the House ............$223,500 FOR LIFE
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders......$193,400 FOR LIFE
Average Salary of a teacher................ $40,065
Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN........$38,000
I think we found where the cuts should be made!

[Galt]

Great idea made greater there Loup. Wish I'd known of it sooner.
Never ceases to amaze me...politicians spend millions to get jobs paying thousands and other than the feeding of their overly inflated egos people still don't seem to get that they're almost all in it for the pocket stuffing that they get to do.
Ya gotta love that in the midst of the greatest Keynesian debacle since...well Bush actually, we see a ruler whose peeples are bragging up his tens of millions in campaign contributions (gathered from an ever more rapidly imploding economy) that will ultimately serve no purpose greater than to further pollute our airways and under performing mail stream with more lies and drivel aimed at keeping him in power. Kind'a like the Stimulus that was paid to his handlers on Wall Street. Even though I fault the entire premise as elemental stupidity,if that money had been "re-distributed" among the tax payers who bear this burden it would have amounted to something like $17,000 to each of us.
Gee...do ya think that might have avoided a few "toxic assets" or provided a few more jobs than the reality of what it ended up doing; stimulating the sale of vacation homes on Martha's Vineyard to the ruling class.

Yeay for anarchy! Nothing will change until the walls completely fall in on the money changers temple. I think I'll try slapping one of those on a couple of blocks of government cheese. Ought'a smell real good by the time it arrives.

[LoupGaroux]

Wonderful idea! I actually started doing this with the McGovern campaign in 1972. And to get even more bang for their buck... glue the post paid envelope to something heavy, a brick, a piece of scrap metal, heck, even an old car door if you have one lying around. Imagine the negative contribution of 20 or 30 pounds of first class postage! Nice job.

[Labot2001]

Tape the envelope to a brick.

[VagsmaCutter]

Ah yes, the gift that keeps on giving. And, they pass the savings on to us!

            Nick Pappagiorgio

[metal-matt]

thats funny, obama won.....

[itsthatsguy]

by alot too! lol i was so happy

[lukkbox]

barack obama = blazin saddles

[nollidge]

Starting sentences with conjunctions is not a grammatical error. It is just a stylistic choice. But good try! (see what I did there?)

[no_fear]

Technically you can justify almost any grammatical error by saying it is a stylistic choice. To more important things... one way to make this better is send anything you don't want anymore back. Stuff the envelope with advertisements for anything, any papers you don't want, paper clips, candy wrappers(as someone else said), literally anything you can fit into the envelope. The pre-paid envelopes are generally just worth whatever postage for a normal letter is at the time, but as soon as you make that letter weigh more than a normal letter, the Post Office will automatically charge whoever paid for the pre-paid envelope. You used to be able to tape the envelope to a box and fill the box with junk and it would charge the person or company all of the postage for that box. I think those rules have changed since then though...

[xACIDITYx]

Actually, it is a Grammatical error, unless you use a comma or something.

For example, you should have said
It is just a stylistic choice, but good try.

[knex_mepalm]

Not exactly, you see you can put quoting marks to make it more complicated, L-awl.

For example:
"It's just a stylistic choice",but good try

[xACIDITYx]

We weren't talking about quotation marks.

[knex_mepalm]

 Yeah...I can't remember why I said that, anyway, I just was replying to his thing because of "stylistic choices."

[nollidge]

Actually it's not, at least not if you think that wide usage by a variety of well-regarded authors (Shakespeare, Joyce Carol Oates, Virginia Woolf, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens) is evidence enough.

http://158.130.17.5/~myl/languagelog/archives/002224.html

Sorry if this sounds rude, but it's a major pet peeve of mine when people espouse overtly strict grammatical rules to the great detriment of nascent writers everywhere. English is a stylistically flexible language and shouldn't be restricted arbitrarily like this.

[xACIDITYx]

I don't go by how wide something is used. Christianity is widely spread; Doesn't make it correct.

[nollidge]

Erm... what do you go by then? There is no other possible rational standard for grammatical rules. One of which, by the way, is not to capitalize after a semicolon.

[xACIDITYx]

There is no other possible rational standard for Grammatical rules... Really? What about the set grammatical rules, like the ones in my textbooks?

[tinkerist]

textbooks contain a lot of inaccuracies due to the fact that the humans that write them are prone to viewing their own opinions as fact. and they ALWAYS have grammatical errors. textbooks don't define the rules of anything; they talk about "rules" as understood by one person or a small group of people. in addition to these inadequacies, they are added to and subtracted from to meet arbitrary standards created by a handful of state legislators who are not necessarily educated in the subject they are controlling.
in short, textbooks are, at best, a loose reference to what some may consider acceptable presentation of a subject matter. at worst, they are a misleading mish-mash of worthless pseudo knowledge.
i'm with nollidge on this one. the english language is plastic. if the meaning of a phrase can be precisely understood by a reader, then it is as grammatically correct as anything. even formal writing's "rules" are more flexible than some people would have you think.

[chriskarr]

I'd have to agree with both of you, to some extent. There should be some things that aren't changed due to common usage, such as words like shocker being termed in the dictionary for their slang meaning. If you're going to list its slang meaning, do so on Urbandictionary.com and leave it out of my textbooks. That way, the pointless abridged versions of the dictionary that my parents get me for Christmas aren't useless because words have one definition that isn't appropriate for children under 12. Two years ago, when I was thirteen, my parents gave me an abridged dictionary as a stocking-stuffer and didn't realize that I understood what a vagina was. They, apparently, didn't realize that i understood what a sextant was and that it had nothing to do with the female body (unless a female is touching one). Not all grammar rules should be flexible, but all of them should be able to conform to new word usages. Contractions shouldn't be made when the words they serve to shorten contain the same number of syllables as said contractions themselves do. Ain't ain't a word (even though the Instructables validates it as a word) and I ain't gonna' say it. (That's the only sentence I ever say ain't in, other than when I'm explaining the word and its pointlessness.

[Honokaguchi]

Actually, Ain't is a word, it is a contraction that can be used in place of; am not, is not, are not, has not, and have not. Hence why Instructables validates it as a word.

[chriskarr]

Excuse me; I forgot to put an ending parenthesis on that last sentence.

[Lithium Rain]

I'm with nollidge on this one. All languages are flexible and constantly evolving. Textbooks don't always keep up with common usage. If it's obsolete, or being moded out, a grammar rule serves no purpose and should be tossed.

[nollidge]

And how did your textbook authors come up with the rules?

[KentsOkay]

Phooey I was always taught they were... Still looks tacky though...

[lemonie]

I like doing this sort of thing, but I can only be motivated by filling in stupid details. I need to come up with something other than "The Chuckle Brothers, 2001 Space Oddity Drive, Hull"... (any suggestions welcome) L

[KentsOkay]

I wish there had been a survey, but apparently they didn't think my vote was worth another sheet of paper....

[Trid]

:D Pretty cool. You could also switch the letters, so Obama gets a donation card from McCain, and McCain gets a donation letter from Obama. Hilarity ensues.

[itshurleytime]

Wow, you even got an X Ray photo of your favorite presidential nominee. Nice touch.

[xACIDITYx]

What? He's voting for McCain, whereas the picture is of Biden.

[KentsOkay]

With Obama standing next to him :D

[Toxicvoid13]

You could also send them some trash like used candy wrappers I do it with all the junk mail envelopes i get, you know credit cards and so on

[Toxicvoid13]

Hey You could also mail some trash like some candy wrappers and save your self some well earned cash!

[dombeef]

Obama won!

[standupclothing]

wrong person

[Dms12444]

Very nice I just sent one to john Mc Cain ps:Go Republicans

[bannana inventor]

Address these to John McCain everyone!!

[Gjdj3]

Haha, nice. No matter which candidate you like (or dislike) this sounds like fun. 5 stars.

[KentsOkay]

Thank you, thank you very much!