Introduction: How to Eat Chef Boyardee

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First step is to find the variety of Chef Boyardee (henceforth known as 'CB') that you want to eat. *NOTE* I do not recommend this kind.

Step 1: Open the Can

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Maybe you have a hand crank can opener, maybe you have a nifty magnetic automatic one, maybe you have to use your teeth, whatever it takes.

Step 2: Throw Top in Garbage

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Not much to say here.

Step 3: Put Can Upside Down in Bowl

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Flip it over quick so as not to spill.

Step 4: Move the Can Around in Circles

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This makes like a nice suction in the can, sucking air out or something. I don't know the physics behind it. I just know it works.

Step 5: Pick Up the Can

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Pick the can straight up. The contents of the can should come spilling out and making a weird squishy noise. This is my second favorite part of the whole thing.

Step 6: Shake That

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Sometimes your food doesn't want to be eaten, and it hides in the can thinking you're an idiot and can't tell it's still in there. Shake it loose.

Step 7: Plop

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Now the remaining contents of the can should come out.

Step 8: Anyone There?

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Check the can again just in case there's still some sneaky bits still hiding out in there. It's time to eliminate them.

Step 9: Spoonin'

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"Oh, you thought you could escape being eaten by clinging to the walls of the can? FALSE! You can do no such thing!" This is something you would say if you were a crazy person. Fortunately, I am not. Take a spoon and get the rest of the food out of the can. Eat it immediately. It doesn't deserve to join the bowl with the others.

Step 10: Save the World

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Put the can to the side to be recycled. This is sometimes a good thing to do.

Step 11: Feelin the Heat

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Microwave it if you want to. Personally, it doesn't make any difference to me.

Step 12: Just Eat It

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Eat your food. Yum.

Step 13: Taste It Again

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That stuff was nasty.

Step 14: Please Comment

Please comment if you like anything about this. It could be the humor, the pretty pictures (eh), the degree of helpfulness, or anything. You can even tell me why you hate it. I don't care. Just comment. It's one of the steps. You have to now.


nerfrocketeer (author)2013-07-30


jasonZak (author)2013-07-28

@Purocuyu That's what she said

Purocuyu (author)2013-07-28

As a kid, I saw their commercials, and I desperately wanted some of that. Now as an adult, I walk past the cans at the grocery store and think, "we had our chance, CB, and we can never go back, it's too late"...cause seriously, I'm not putting that inside of me.

jabootee (author)2013-07-27

Nicely done

georgeanator3000 (author)2013-07-27

I hate that cheap fake food

arkangel1975 (author)2013-07-27

ROFL LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I needed that

UrEvilTwin (author)2013-07-26

This made me laugh , ALOT. Thank you for that. Not to mention I can finally eat that meat ravioli that I just could not figure out how to prepare. Thanks

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