Introduction: How to Have a Child on Pi Day

Picture of How to Have a Child on Pi Day

As I'm sure you are probably aware, pi day comes every year, but this pi day was particularly special. Pi day is celebrated on 3/14 every year, but this year only, the date approximates the date a bit closer.

This only happens twice a century. The date matches the value in the morning and evening (3.1415926 matches 3/14/15 9:26AM/PM).

Unfortunately, pi day has already passed and you are reading this ible now, you are out of time to have a child on THE Pi day. But there is a ray of hope, as you can see in the number presented above, when rounded to the fourth decimal point, pi becomes 3.1416, which corresponds to March 14th, 2016! So you might still be able to claim this nerdy victory.

DISCLAIMER: Not everyone is financially and emotionally ready to have a child, so if this ible sounds like something you would like to attempt, please carefully consider the consequences. This includes, but is not limited to sleepless nights, empty wallets, labor pains, sleepless nights, overwhelming joy, really cool toys, incredible increase in responsibility, and sleepless nights.

VOTE: If you like what you see, please remember to vote for me (if only for originality) for the Pi day contest!!!

Step 1: Find That Special Someone

Picture of Find That Special Someone

Find someone to have the child with. (If you are male, you need a female, and if you are a female, you need a male). I highly recommend this be someone you like and preferably you could see yourself with for the rest of your life. You probably want to get married before attempting to have children, though it is not necessary.

This can be one of the hardest steps. Luckily, I found the love of my life at a relatively young age through a friend. We dated for a few years, and got married shortly after graduating college.

It is pretty hard to provide tips for this step. In general though, my advice is to be yourself. Love will often find you when and where you least expect it. It sounds like a cliche, but its pretty accurate. Just be patient and watch carefully for impostors, and it will happen.

Step 2: Talk With That Special Someone About Kids

You both need to be on the same page before attempting to have kids. You might think it would be the best thing in the world to have a kid on pi day (the second best pi day at that). However, they might not be ready, or have different goals in mind for what needs to be ready before having kids. This is also something that you do not want to put off though. It requires serious consideration. See disclaimer in introduction for a small list of the considerations. Also, pregnancy.org has some good resources about pregnancy and kids, and this very topic.

Step 3: Do Some Simple Math

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This step is pretty simple. Once you decide to have a kid and know when you want to have them, do some math to see when to conceive to have them on you intended day.

Everyone says pregnancy takes 9 months, which is kind of true. A more accurate length of time would be 40 weeks or 280 days if you prefer. If you don't feel like counting out the weeks, there are some good online calculators for that sort of thing.

I'll save you a click, to have a kid on March 14, conception needs to happen sometime around June 14.

Step 4: Do the Deed

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CENSORED

Step 5: Wait

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This part can be very trying especially if you are the one carrying the baby.

Guys:

My advice is to help her as much as possible, and remind her how beautiful she is as often as possible. Her body is creating life, and it takes a LOT out of her. Let her take it easy when possible, and enjoy your time together. Cherish every moment. If this is your first child, realize your lives are about to change forever, so please just enjoy being together, alone while you can.

My wife had a terrible time with morning sickness, swelling, back pain, and pain in general. It was hard to watch her deal with all of that, and there was almost nothing I could do to help. There are many ways you can't help, but there are many things you can do around the house and for her. Whenever possible, do them.

Also, realize she is going through a lot hormonally. Give her a break when she blows up about the toothpaste lid or some other similarly silly issue.

Gals:

Good luck. Try to take it easy as much as possible. Don't be afraid to ask for help. That's what friends and family are for. There will be days when you don't feel like doing anything, just remember it will all be worth it when you see that tiny little face looking at you.

Both:

Get some sleep. You will look back at the days when you could go to bed whenever you want and cry a little on the inside.

Extra Credit:

Optionally, you can do some math while you wait. Measure the circumference of the belly determine the approximate radius.

C=2*pi*r

so

r=C/(2*pi)

From that radius, you could also get an approximation of the volume of the young lady's belly.

V=4/3*(pi*r^3)

From there, you can plot the growth of mommy and baby over time. I doubt most mothers-to-be would really want you measuring her stomach and calculating its volume. If she's cool with it though, it could be a fun thing to do. (Plus its for Pi Day after all).

Step 6: Help Move the Labor Along

Disclaimer: I'm just a silly excited dad, don't do any of these things without first consulting your OBGYN.

If the day is here and you are full term, and there are no complications, it might be a good idea to try to move the labor along.

Method 1: Sex

The same method that got your baby in there in the first place may help get them out as well. As long as your water has not broke and its all clear with your doctor/midwife, go for it. It may not be guaranteed to help, but it certainly won't hurt. You won't have as much time for such things after the bundle arrives; plus, it's fun! ;)

Method 2: Acupressure

Believe it or not, acupressure may help to induce labor. The two main points to massage are the between the index finger and thumb and just above the ankle. Doesn't hurt to try.

Method 3: Go For a Walk

Walking encourages the baby to move farther down the cervix. It can also encourage your baby to get into the proper position if they are not already there. Once you are in labor, standing up and walking around can also help the labor to progress more quickly. A little friend called gravity.

Method 4: Spicy Food

There's no direct evidence that it helps induce labor, but hey, if you enjoy spicy food, you're killing two birds with one stone.

Step 7: Labor and Delivery

Picture of Labor and Delivery

Similar to how things were with the pregnancy, help in any way you possibly can! You hold her through the pain, and say nothing of your own as she cuts off all circulation. You do whatever she asks, including joining in song and sway as you both sing Kum Bah Yah. You go in the room and fight any urge to faint, whether from the giant needle shoved in her back, or from all the lovely things (in addition to the baby) that spew from her loins. If she curses you out, just agree with her. And if she wants to hold your hand, pray she doesn't break it. BUT don't you dare withdraw it unless you want other things to be broken later...

Step 8: Enjoy Your Little One

Picture of Enjoy Your Little One

Whether or not your baby ended up being born on the day you wanted (ours came just 2 days early), you have a new child. Enjoy them. Cry a little even. Its one of life's most amazing moments. And you can still celebrate the next closest Pi day by sharing Pie with them ;) Good luck!

Now, if you enjoyed my ible, don't forget to vote please!!!

Comments

rfachir (author)2015-03-28

You get my vote for sheer commitment to this project. I will stay up a few nights to execute a great idea, but this one is a sneakier sleep-thief than the internet. Best project ever, though :) Planning the next 3.14th party yet? "Round Stuff" fits the theme.

DadNerd (author)rfachir2015-03-29

I love that. we will definitely have a "round stuff" themed birthday party in about a year. Thanks for your vote :)

hntimlin08 (author)2015-03-24

Best instructible ever... Orginality hands down gets my vote... loved the humor and detail of your words included within the steps. Congratulations on your child... may you have many wonderful years of joy, laughs and tons of Love!! Thank you for writing this instructible, it truly was a pleasure to read... be well and enjoy all the moments ahead of you

DadNerd (author)hntimlin082015-03-25

Thank you so much.

ThisIsMyNameOK (author)2015-03-21

Somehow my original comment here seems to have not posted... So, once again:

Congratulations! =)

I think I said something like "cherish every moment, those first precious years go by fast" - or some other equally lame thing. Cute baby, and cute idea for an 'ible.

DadNerd (author)ThisIsMyNameOK2015-03-22

Thanks. I had a lot of fun writing it and of course experiencing it. Thought it could only help to share.

ThisIsMyNameOK (author)DadNerd2015-03-23

And now it seems my original comment has appeared... Must have been a glitch at my end. Anyway, I voted for you, simply because it was unique and creative. And I think you put a smile on a lot of faces. =)

thesnowtheriver (author)2015-03-22

This is the most creative and life-affirming ible ever. ! you got my vote! and congratulations ; )

DadNerd (author)thesnowtheriver2015-03-22

Thank you so much! It means a lot. :)

ThisIsMyNameOK (author)2015-03-20

Congratulations! :-) What a unique and wonderful subject for an Instructable. And a great story to tell the little one in a few years. Those first few precious years will go by fast so cherish every single moment.

ekiessling (author)2015-03-18

Oh yes Steven your baby and wife are beautiful. Awesom ible thanks and congratulations.

DadNerd (author)ekiessling2015-03-19

Thank you. I think so too :)

jmyers1 (author)2015-03-18

Congrats! It's been 20 years since my first trip to the maternity ward. Good times are ahead. Also, you will never sleep again. Really. ;)

DadNerd (author)jmyers12015-03-19

Thanks. This is my second. It is definitely harder this time when you have a toddler who still wakes up and a baby who needs constant attention and a recovering mommy who needs help herself.

BayRatt (author)2015-03-17

Cute 'ible! Cuuuuuute baby! And it looks like the little apple didn't fall far from the tree. Congratulations! Best wishes for a very happy life together & may the little 'un live up to all of your dreams and aspirations.

Kiteman (author)2015-03-17

Aww...

I saw the thumbnail image on the recent page, and read the text underneath as seventeen kids...

neo71665 (author)Kiteman2015-03-17

Same here then thoughts of somebody trying for 17 years to have a kid on 3-14 humorsly went through my mind.

DadNerd (author)neo716652015-03-17

no thanks... lol

discostu956 (author)2015-03-16

congrats on your little bundle of, uuuum, joy! (i joke). One proud dad it seems. Would love to vote for you, but seems your entry isn't accepted yet. Might be due to having a few photos off the internet. Yes, I've made that mistake in the past!

I enjoyed that, very different take on the pi day challenge

DadNerd (author)discostu9562015-03-17

I deleted some of the photos. Thanks for the advice. Looks like I'm in the contest if anyone would like to vote :)

Would really like to teach my cutie pi how to use a raspberry pi if I win. :)

teresa.keen.50 (author)2015-03-30

I am not sure if this will post! I am so proud of both of you guys! Love you and the babies!

teresa.keen.50 (author)2015-03-30

Love you guys! You both are so cute!!!

mkhademolhosseini (author)2015-03-17

But does it really need an ible?!!?!
"If you are a male seek a female" good to know
!

Oh, let a new dad be proud!

elephantparade (author)2015-03-17

Also if you're really committed, you could name your kid Piper and call them Pi for short :D

dan3008 (author)2015-03-17

Congratulations to the new daddy :D (and mummy of course)

BeachsideHank (author)2015-03-17

Clever Pi day entry. My wife would have lower back pain when carrying, I would massage that area using a tennis ball in a sock- no kidding it really works, so yeah, anything a guy can do to help fix the damage he's responsable for, if you know what I mean.

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