How to Keep Warm

Keeping warm in cold weather is a difficult task for sure, especially if you live in an igloo. I'm here to help you, yes you, keep warm, even in an igloo.

Step 1: Growing Hair

Many people have hair. In fact, 99% of all people have hair. It's true Statistics.
It's also proven by Statistics that bald people die. Sometimes in the cold, too!

What you need to do for this instructable is grow lots of hair. Being covered in hair is like being covered in a big warm blanket. It is not recommended, however, that you shave the hair off others if you can't grow hair of your own. It's just not friendly.

It's especially not recommended that you shave the hair off gorillas or Bigfoot. They can crush you.

You can also get hair off coconuts. The best part is, coconuts don't fight back!

Step 2: Live in Africa

Africa is generally regarded as a warm video shop. Unfortunately, all they have is VHS and no DVD.
Regardless, the heating is always turned up full, and their electric bill is through the atmosphere.

If you can, move to Africa during the cold winter months. Australia will also suffice, except it's much too far away.

If you reach a very large cold place near Canada, you've taken a wrong turn at Lebanon. (Which is also full of hairy men!)

Step 3: Fire

Fire has been around for a very long time. Catholics used it to set fire to women, Mongolians used it to set fire to yurts, now we use it to cook our steak. But didb you know that fire is also good at keeping yourself warm?
If you hold lit matches up to combustible things, like wood, petrol and Rome, fire happens. You then get close to it and let the heat fill your body. Use things around the home to get fire, like chairs, televisions and children, but don't set fire to the house. It could get troublesome.

You can also give the gift of fire to others. Here's a handy saying:
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
Wise words, those. Very wise.

Step 4: The End!

Hopefully, you're nice and warm now. Be sure to enjoy your warmedness and vote for me!