loading
I know, I know...we've all been in that situation where we had to pass for a German tourist, ex-GSG9 operative, or foreign exchange student from Bavaria.  When you have to convey this via writing it's even more difficult because you obviously have to type how you talk, and I know I'm not the only one who can say he's lost a significant other or two because I lapsed in my German accent during an email.

Fear no more!  Inside these pages you will learn to express your false Teutonic heritage with pride while developing fluent German language accent skills comparable to any found in a Mel Brooks movie.  I will build upon each rule and use them in subsequent rules until we are writing in a fluent German accent!

Step 1: W's are for the veak

Rule 1: Pronounce all "W's" as "V's"

In German,  the letter "w" is pronounced as a "v," as in "was" or "wehrmacht."  Carry this over into your English for a significant impact.  Vat this does is start to add a Germanic flavor to your speaking.  Use it only vere you pronounce the "w" in English; you vouldn't use it for vords like "write" or "wriangle" but you vould for "we," "webster," "war," and "was." 

Rule 1.1: "Wh" is just "v"

For vords vis a "wh" write it simply as "v."  "What" is vat, not vhat.
 

Rule 1.2: No two letter words

For vords like "we" make it "vee."  No two-letter vords!

Now vee vill go to the next step.
I am french,<br>And I have not laughed like zis for a fery fery fery long time !<br>Thank you for zis incredible moment ! :D
Salut Quantiik,<br><br>Thank you for the kind words and for leaving feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm working on the French one next; maybe you can give me some tips ;)<br><br>Cordialement,<br>Gian
The aticle was really well written ! When you used the points seen just before, etc... That made me laugh and with the examples !<br><br>Great job
<p>Okay, so this is FANTASTIC! I need to have a German accent (sort of a bad one, actually) for a play I'm doing, and the only accent help available is mostly for &quot;real&quot; accents, if you know what I mean. This was exactly what I needed--and fun, too! Thank you so much, and I do hope you also create those instructables on French and Mexican accents! </p>
I want to testify of what DR EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com) did for me and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of pregnancy. I went off birth control then and did not have a period. my gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did., but I did not have another one. we did another round of progesterone followed by 100mg clomid for 5 months, we followed all doctors instructions but all to no avail. I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i finally got 3 tests when i was ovulating! So ever since that we have been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to be negative! I really want a baby girl while my hubby wants a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we are just trying so hard, what i can tell you is that it&rsquo;s been so many years now and i still yet do not have my period??Nobody to help because everybody around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on us. no were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL CASTER} who can heal someone or, bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST, help you win a VISA LOTTERY, losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS AND flatten your BELLY,I gave her a try and before i could no it DR EKA rescued me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go and make love with my hubby,then i did, and after nine months i delivered a baby BOY . after all this , i said to myself that i wont just testify on line, but make the whole world see and hear of he. This spell caster name is DR EKA. So many people have witness his wonderful work.he is nice, contact him on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) if you are in any predicament email him immediately without doubts Thanks so very much!! DR EKA.
<p>Thank you so much for the nice words! I'm glad that you were able to find my humble instructable on getting that over-the-top german accent (zat iz, zee ahsoritiez..). Hope you were able to use it and have fun with it!</p><p>Thanks for the comment!</p>
I luf zee pikturez. Zis ist fery fun!
sanken sie das ferry much meinen freunden!
<p>I am learning a German accent for a play. This has been most helpful. </p>
<p>This is super helpful. A couple questions - for rule 5, you said it's words that START with the sh sound get changed. .. schtop, etc. But later you say &quot;muscht&quot; and &quot;inschtance&quot;, so does that mean it's not just words that starts with those sounds? But rather anytime those sounds come up? How would you say dishonest?</p><p>My other question is how would you say the word &quot;sorry&quot;. </p>
<p>I am Turkish and I have a relative at Germany. Now I have better german accent then her! Danke!!</p>
Hey! I alvays vish I had a German aktcent und now I kan kind ov get von. But I vas vonderink, could you tell me how the &quot;ou&quot; ist pronounced in zee vord &quot;you&quot; ant zee &quot;or&quot; sount ist in zee vord &quot;vord&quot;
I have a character with a thick German accent. Does anyone know of a generator that I could type in and translates to German accent
<p>Using these rules, a simple parser should be capable of doing this. If interested in writing one I would support that.</p>
<p>I want to testify of what DR EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com) did for me <br>and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of <br>pregnancy. I went off birth control then and did not have a period. my <br>gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did., but I did <br>not have another one. we did another round of progesterone followed by <br>100mg clomid for 5 months, we followed all doctors instructions but all <br>to no avail. I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i <br>finally got 3 tests when i was ovulating! So ever since that we have <br>been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep <br>taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to be negative! I really <br>want a baby girl while my hubby wants a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we <br>are just trying so hard, what i can tell you is that it&rsquo;s been so many <br>years now and i still yet do not have my period??Nobody to help because <br>everybody around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on <br>us. no were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine <br>and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL <br>CASTER} who can heal someone or, bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,<br> help you win a VISA LOTTERY, losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS <br>AND flatten your BELLY,I gave her a try and before i could no it DR EKA <br>rescued me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go <br>and make love with my hubby,then i did, and after nine months i <br>delivered a baby BOY . after all this , i said to myself that i wont <br>just testify on line, but make the whole world see and hear of he. This <br>spell caster name is DR EKA. So many people have witness his wonderful <br>work.he is nice, contact him on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) if you are in <br>any predicament email him immediately without doubts Thanks so very <br>much!! DR EKA.</p>
<p>I want to testify of what DR EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com) did for me <br>and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of <br>pregnancy. I went off birth control then and did not have a period. my <br>gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did., but I did <br>not have another one. we did another round of progesterone followed by <br>100mg clomid for 5 months, we followed all doctors instructions but all <br>to no avail. I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i <br>finally got 3 tests when i was ovulating! So ever since that we have <br>been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep <br>taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to be negative! I really <br>want a baby girl while my hubby wants a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we <br>are just trying so hard, what i can tell you is that it&rsquo;s been so many <br>years now and i still yet do not have my period??Nobody to help because <br>everybody around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on <br>us. no were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine <br>and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL <br>CASTER} who can heal someone or, bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,<br> help you win a VISA LOTTERY, losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS <br>AND flatten your BELLY,I gave her a try and before i could no it DR EKA <br>rescued me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go <br>and make love with my hubby,then i did, and after nine months i <br>delivered a baby BOY . after all this , i said to myself that i wont <br>just testify on line, but make the whole world see and hear of he. This <br>spell caster name is DR EKA. So many people have witness his wonderful <br>work.he is nice, contact him on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) if you are in <br>any predicament email him immediately without doubts Thanks so very <br>much!! DR EKA.</p>
<p>Okay, as a native german speaker, this actually helped me to write better english too.</p>
<p>Sehr sch&ouml;n. Es ist ein guter Weg, um mit den grundlegenden. :)</p>
ich bin Deutsch und das ist eine Schande f&uuml;r me n my Land
<p>Fielen Dank! I just used your post to hep prepare a karacter I'm doing in a theater--Oh, einshundigen-ein teater klass. I used to live in Germany and had several goot chuckles reading this.</p>
<p>That is so awesome! I hope the character went over well!</p>
Can you give me some tips for German Accents Please, I Need To Learn It For a school play sorry for disturbing you<br>
Hi I grew up speaking with a German eksent ent the most important thing you forgot was the &quot;a&quot; sound in the word &quot;back.&quot; We say &quot;beck&quot; because we kennot pronounce the very difficult &quot;a.&quot; Thenk you.
<p>This is awesome info. Thanks for sharing it!</p>
<p>I schtumbled upon zis, vile lookink for fery great detail on German accents. Zis has gonen abofe unt beyond my expectations.</p>
<p>vell i don't know vat to sprechen. Danke fur das kinden worts!</p>
Another one is to replace the word 'and' with 'und'
Yes, totally, although I might change &quot;und&quot; to &quot;oont&quot; :)<br>Thanks for your comments!
<p>This was really helpful, I am writing a story and have a character with a German accent. This was exactly what I was looking for, thanks!</p>
<p>Heyas, I'm glad its working for you. Thanks for the kind words and your comment!</p>
<p>Are you in bad need of love spell to bring back your ex lover or reunite your marriage? Email Dr. OSUN for fast solution at faithfullovespell@yahoo.com I had a problem with my boyfriend a year and six months ago, which lead us apart. When he broke up with me, I was confuse and did not know what to do to get him back, I felt so empty inside. Until i came across Dr. OSUN on the internet on how He has helped so many people solve there various problems. i emailed Him and I told Him my problem and I did what he asked me to do for him to help me, to briefly make the long story short, Before I knew it, in less than a week, my boyfriend gave me a call and he came back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going on between the both of us, he engaged me and we got married. With the help of Dr. OSUN, I also gave birth to Twins. I'm so grateful to Dr. OSUN and His super natural spell casting powers and i will not stop publishing his name on the internet just for the good work he has done for me. If you need his help, you can email him at faithfullovespell@yahoo.com or call his phone number +2347035519489 and he will also help you too. I will be forever grateful to you (DR. OSUN). Website http://faithfullovespell.wix.com/dr-osun</p>
<p>Are you in bad need of love spell to bring back your ex lover or reunite your marriage? Email Dr. OSUN for fast solution at faithfullovespell@yahoo.com I had a problem with my boyfriend a year and six months ago, which lead us apart. When he broke up with me, I was confuse and did not know what to do to get him back, I felt so empty inside. Until i came across Dr. OSUN on the internet on how He has helped so many people solve there various problems. i emailed Him and I told Him my problem and I did what he asked me to do for him to help me, to briefly make the long story short, Before I knew it, in less than a week, my boyfriend gave me a call and he came back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going on between the both of us, he engaged me and we got married. With the help of Dr. OSUN, I also gave birth to Twins. I'm so grateful to Dr. OSUN and His super natural spell casting powers and i will not stop publishing his name on the internet just for the good work he has done for me. If you need his help, you can email him at faithfullovespell@yahoo.com or call his phone number +2347035519489 and he will also help you too. I will be forever grateful to you (DR. OSUN). Website http://faithfullovespell.wix.com/dr-osun</p>
<p>great</p>
<p>fuck everyone!!!</p>
<p>fuck everyone!!!</p>
<p>fuck everyone!!!</p>
<p>fuck everyone!!!</p>
<p>fuck all you bitches</p>
<p>fuck all you bitches</p>
<p>fuck all you bitches</p>
<p>how about the words that start with 'y' like you or your? They're similar in tone to words that start with w' so just 'vondering' if you's begin with a v or anything too</p>
<p>Hello nice tutorial. Very informative. I would also recommend adding replacing &quot;and&quot; with &quot;und&quot;. So according to one of your previous rules it would pronounced as &quot;unt&quot;.</p>
<p>How-efer, der are times ven I sink it should be pronounced tink...yah? I tink I vill vait to see vat you haf to say...but, for now...all ees youst fine vith me!</p><p>Oh...vat fun dis ees.....yah? Oy! My vordcheck ees all lit up!</p>
Sank you for zis. I am auditioning for part in Dame of Sark and need realistic German accent. Zis is goot
feelen dank! zehr gut. ich bin zehr glat fur zee! Speaken sie das vis zee aksent efreyvehr!
But could you advise how to say London plis?<br>Danke
<p>This is such a big help since I'm writing a book and one of my characters are half german! Thank you so much x))) Really appreciated. </p>
<p>I'm glad you enjoyed it! Keep on writing!</p>
XD Wow, this is actually really cool! Do you have one with other accents? I tend to write (or want to write) fics with a bunch of accents (read: Hetalia fan)
<p>OMG I LOVE HETALIA!!! that was the only reason I wanted to look this up XD</p>

About This Instructable

417,977 views

34 favorites

License:

Bio: Gian is a computational biologist and is the Managing Director at Open Design Strategies, LLC. He holds a BA in Molecular/Cellular Biology and an ... More »
More by nevdull: Create A Custom Medieval-/Fantasy-Style Calligraphy Quill Practical DACs Using Enumerated Types as Bitflags
Add instructable to: