Instructables
Picture of How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date
Have you ever spotted a girl from across the room and wondered what you had to do to get her to go out with you? Maybe you sit by a great girl in one of your classes and just aren't sure how to progress with things. Have you had some unlucky breaks in the pass? Whether you've been out on a couple of dates but feel like you’re doing something wrong, or you’re trying to get that first ever first date, we can help you out! By following the five simple steps below and paying attention to what to do and what not to do, we can get you on a first date and have you well on your way to a second. You never know, these steps could even help you go on a date with the girl you’ll marry someday!
 
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Step 1: Gauge Her Interest

Picture of Gauge Her Interest
The first step is to gauge her interest. Did she notice you when you walked in the door? Did she make eye contact with you and smile? Positive expressions such as laughter, smiling, and open body language are great indicators that she is interested in you. If she seems annoyed, busy, or closed off, chances are you should leave her alone and wait for another girl to come along. If she’s always trying to find a reason to talk to you then this is good news!! Why else would an A student ask you for help on a math problem? She’s interested in you! Now we can move onto step 2 and get to know her a little bit better.
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sconner11 year ago
One: don't ask them out.
If they get a whiff of you're interest, they'll cast you aside or keep you wrapped around her pinky as an obedient pet she uses to impress other girls.

Two:Treat all girls like you don't care, let them seek you out.
But don't be an easy catch. Nothing makes a girl want something more than the fact that it can't be gotten.

Three: When you finally "let her go out with you" treat her like you're killing time until something better comes along. nothing keeps a girl like feelings of inadequacy and fear of losing the unattainable.

ok that's why we girl's cry don't do that. don't overthink it just go 4 it

nsultana9 months ago
Thank you very much for sharing this nice tips. I would like to add a little hope that will make this post rich.

Avoid questions like "what are you doing Friday?" or "would you like to go out sometime?" or worse, assertions like "let me know what you're doing this weekend" or "we should hang out sometime." You will flatter her and make it easy for her to say yes by being clear and specific.

Ask her to a predetermined event (like a concert, opening night show, or invite-only party) that, unlike a movie or a meal, she couldn't just as easily attend casually with friends. It doesn't have to be fancy, just interesting and cool (i.e. memorable).
Try to have an 'in' with this event (great seats, expertise on the subject, have seen it before, know the host) instead of just being a regular attendee. This will make you more confident and comfortable, improve the experience, and make it clear to her that she's your guest... otherwise you may drift back into the friend zone.

Try this:

Make sure the girl is single, knows who you are, and is receptive to you, even if you're not sure if she likes you yet.
Learn about her interests and style.
Find an apropos event that you are absolutely certain she would like.
If she says she's not going, tell her you have a +1/extra ticket, then--without pausing--ask her if she wants to join you.


If she's already going, you can't use this for your date, but you can say either:
A) "Nice, do you want to grab dinner or a drink first?" then repeat Step 3 in a few days. (note: this is 'meeting up' and not a date)
or
B) "Nice, I'll probably see you there!" then repeat Step 3 in a few days.

If you try this again and she says she's going to the next cool event, then she is probably awesome and you should step up your game.

Source: http://www.attractthemnow.org
mahdawi9 months ago
great ideas and advice you ifond abook discusing dating and it will help you try it
goldenpawn1 year ago
I like it I had problems with this all through high school.
Treknology1 year ago
Afterthought: I think you should have made this a Unisex i'ble, even hetero/homo. Girls are just as nervous, and yes guy-girl talk are two different languages. Even guy-guy and girl-girl talk can be different languages, although in the homo-world there tends to be a little more honesty, as in, "You wanna?" "Yes/No."

As someone with all the sex-drive of a Vogon road-side accident (and probably as much appeal), I don't seek "random" relationships. I let the real ones find me.

You could try some of Holstrom's Sexual Magnetism Virus... although you could get more than you bargained for.
Did you just reference Red Dwarf?
First reference: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Second reference: Red Dwarf.
kschmidt21 year ago
Treknology, did you Just reference Red Dwarf?

(I had can't reply to the actual comment because of a Captcha glitch
Thanks for the guide! I asked the girl I'm interested in to prom, as she seemed interested in me (often asked me questions, noticed when I came through the door, smiles at me when I make eye contact). One problem, however, is that I am incredibly shy. (I've actually told her I find her to be a beautiful girl, and that I was honored to go to prom with such a beautiful girl). Any tips for this shy guy?
Thanks!
Nick
When you attend a party, locate that lone person who sits in a corner. You can have the best undisturbed conversation, and learn more about the person, who could equally be as shy as you.
Shy implies lack of confidence which is a death sentence in attracting women who are not equally shy. Shy or not, you have to be confident. Confidence is the number one rule. If you don't know that you're capable of tackling the world's problems, then she can't hope that you are either. What are you good for if you can't tackle the world? If you fake it, then there will be a crash and burn. Be a great guy who is worthy of a great girl, and you won't be able to stop her from bumping into you and forcing you to ask her to the prom. Guys do not control who they date. The girls have decided before you ask.
Treknology1 year ago
"If she doesn't say no, then that must mean she said yes!"

In today's world, that's a big reach.

"Remember when you asked me out, and I said I would rather be found dead in a ditch? Well, tonight I find myself unexpectedly free, and there are no convenient ditches nearby, so would you like to meet for coffee?"

I enjoyed reading your i'ble and find both it and the comments, an interesting overview on how society is changing.

My own advice to people is don't stop yourself with the thought, "s/he's way out of my league and would never go out with someone like me." There are many nice and lovely people left out in the cold because everyone else thinks the same thing! The worst answer you can get for asking is, "No."
Well, "no" then she goes off and tells everybody that you hit on her (then adds in whatever to make you sound creepy) and to avoid you. In turn you end up looking like a fool to everyone just because you took a risk with one. (Yes, I've had this happen a couple times.)
I'm just saying that the particular thought alone should not be enough to stop you. As detailed elsewhere, there may be other evidence that puts a person off your "potential" list. If s/he has already made someone else look like a creepy fool, then you know that person isn't even desirable.
Thanks.
zawy1 year ago
Gadget try a speed dating service. Be sociable and find places to go to meet people. Follow your heart. Be confident. Talk to her. Skill at humor and art helps. If you love her, tell her. If you want something, ask. If the two of you are not madly in love by the 3rd date, look elsewhere. The quicker you both know, the better. 80% of the decision process is made within the first 2 minutes of conversation, but it needs to be both ways. Don't waste time emailing and texting strangers except to exchange photos and get a telephone number or voice chat. Get her on the phone or video chat ASAP. My wife of 8 years is 15 years younger and beautiful and my history is the same as yours....very late to the game. My delay is the result of not being sociable. Learn to start a nice interactive and friendly conversation with strangers. Start with cashiers. This is how you learn to approach a girl, so said Marylin vos Savant many years ago (Guinness highest IQ at one time). America's most famous genius, Feynman, said if you want sex, ask. Use an online dating service that doubles as an english language learning pairing service, especially Korea or Ukraine, but be extremely careful and smart in eastern europe. You want 10 years younger, or an advanced degree. The little voice in your head knows best.
Batfrog1 year ago
Gadget93: Don't give your number to a girl. They never call, for all kinds of reasons. If nothing else it's just because they're nervous, don't know what to say, or just don't have the confidence. I wish i knew that a long time ago. I've actually had girls ask for my number before, just to end up wondering why i never heard from them, and with no other way to get back in touch with them. If you want a job done right, do it yourself, and at least get her number if you give yours.
mayagayam1 year ago
Excellent job, well done :)
amorrow11 year ago
AskSteve, I would rethink that advice. Women are conditioned by society not to give direct nos. As a result, a lot of women use soft nos (excuses such as being busy) to turn down dates. Unless she counters with another suggestion, limit different suggestions to one, otherwise you will make her uncomfortable. "Maybe" also sometimes means "no."

This is a good post about soft nos that explains them from the point of view of a woman who used to have trouble giving hard nos to requests for dates. http://captainawkward.com/2011/03/23/the-art-of-no/
Exactly. A lot of guys think that "No" means "I hate you, go to hell". Just trying to help a brother out. Here is a response matrix:

Ignoring is girl for "no"
"Possibly" is girl for "probably not"
"Yes" is girl for "maybe"
"OMG, really?? what time??" is girl for "I'm gonna try but don't get your hopes up"
"OK" is girl for "yes"
"Yes" is something a girl only says during sex.

Any of the above responses are subject to change without notice, esp if a better offer comes by.

Women and Men speak a totally different language. You can't sum up the entirety of woman language in a short response or how-to, but you can get started. A lot of guys "get in their own way" -- as in "I love you, nice to meet you". That first rejection is a killer and some guys don't know how to recover. Or worse, some guys come back as jerks and give mean responses to rejection. She just might not have been interested, but there are plenty of others out there that are.
Why don't women say no? Yes, they are conditioned not to. But the main reasons women are afraid so say no to men? Fear that men will become enraged and violent upon being rejected. I've had that happen waaaay too many times. It's terrifying to have a man who moments earlier was fawning over me and asking me out, and then turn ragey, call me every misogynist slur in the book and threaten to hurt me when UI said no.

Also: http://kateharding. net/2009/10/08/ guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/
I'm sorry you've had the misfortune to be treated with such hostility, but I'd caution you to not assume all men will react to rejection with violence. Nobody should have to fear aggression as a response to anything they do or say. I don't mean to imply in any way that you are at fault for what's happened to you, but if your past experience has a negative effect on your life I would strongly suggest you find some outlet to regain whatever power has been taken from you. There are many ways to do this.
Geez, You are damaged! I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. I mean that.
Hey Doc, sorry about your past dating experience. Thankfully you never got into a relationship with the dumb-ass that could not handle a no. Keep it up!
codongolev1 year ago
I was wondering how that worked. while everyone else was figuring this kind of stuff out in middle and high school I was too busy building stuff, and now I have no idea.
Amen brother...except I continued this "building" all the way through grad school. After my 1st PhD is when I realized the extent of what I was missing. (I am now 30 yrs old.)
Gadget931 year ago
Sorry. I know I am full of questions. Like I said earlier, I didn't really try much until after I got my 1st PhD a few years ago (I'm 30 now). So anyway:

So what do you do when after you give them your business card and they never call you back? (Even after you might have been talking to them for a while or for a short time.)
thegrendel1 year ago
Okay, you've pretty much covered the software,
but what about the hardware? What are the values
of those two caps in the power supply? Can you substitute
an equivalent CMOS chip for the Schmitt trigger?
*Is trying to find the inuendos... Is thinking he is finding them...*
Now seriously, folks ...

When trying out new hardware, it's best to do a smoke test.
In this particular case, you're contemplating asking a girl to go out
with you. Before applying full power, i.e., asking her out, do a dry
run with a sister or sympathetic female of your acquaintance to test
your pitch. Do a couple of run-throughs so you can get past most of
your nervousness and iron out the potential flubs. Hey, that's how you
build confidence. And you'll find that you'll blow fewer fuses, not to mention
having to replace expensive CPU chips.
This made the most sense out of everything posted here. I don't think I have any female friends I know well enough to practice on or to even admit that there is a lack of female in my life but if such hardware existed, this would be a great test.
Attmos1 year ago
(removed by author or community request)
I agree with doctressjulia, girls aren't usually flattered in my experience. If they do react positively, it is because they found a sucker they can use. (read the comment I wrote to him below.)
...how about hearing the words that come out of her mouth, respecting them, and not "interpreting" her?

Women aren't "always flattered". Often, they are afraid to set a boundary because men become violent when they do so.
True. I've complemented girls in the past and as a result they just go "uh, thanks" then walk away. Either that or they take it as an open license to use you.
Respecting and interpreting aren't mutually exclusive. Have you always spoken the exact words that your heart of hearts felt? Have you never reconsidered what you said to somebody? Don't misunderstand me, you should respect anything that anybody tells you and assume they mean what they say. But you shouldn't take for granted that people make mistakes.

It's not unthinkable that your first impression of a person can change when you're presented with new evidence of their character. Sometimes that hot girl you've been lusting after can prove herself to be an idiot. Sometimes that shy geek can prove to be intellectually stimulating. Don't be a creep. Don't push when boundaries are clearly set. But don't let yourself assume somebody isn't interested in you because of your own insecurities.
Gadget931 year ago
When entering rooms I've noticed that girls don't really go noticing people walking in doors or looking at strangers like me. Usually they are cold with people they don't know.
Thus are mentioning some very general mysterious comments such as "open body language" & "annoyed, busy, or closed off" but haven't defined what that means nor how to analyze and deduct such emotional states, How are you (specific and general) able to devine how these girls are feeling without asking them?
"Have you had some unlucky breaks in the pass?"

The word you want is "past".
Joell1 year ago
What a player, the girl whose interest he was gauging ended up not being the one he asked out! ;p
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