How to Be in Love (True Love)

This is an instructable for people who find themselves presented with the opportunity to be in love. It will discuss how to nurture and maintain that bond with that certain someone. The idea of love is very subjective and varies greatly, so this is based on my personal experience. This instructable does not explore the areas of unrequited love, god's love, motherly/fatherly love, or the many other varieties of love that exist, just the kind of love that keeps cropping up in so many poems, movies, and songs. You know: True Love.

This instructable does not explain how to find your soul mate or meet the love of your life. For that, try this. (Incidentally, I was unable to find an instructable that teaches girls how to meet guys. Let's assume that's because it should be relatively easy to meet guys if you're a girl. Sorry, that's just how it is.) Or just turn off your computer and leave your house.

Step 1 Is this love?

How can you tell if it's love?

Let's say you've known this other person or been in a relationship with this person for a while when you realize that the attraction and magnetism you feel for them is stronger than anything you've experienced before.

You want to spend all your time with them. They fill your daydreams. You can see big things in your future. Everything in the world would be much better if they were by your side. And they feel exactly the same way... right?

It is important to determine what you are experiencing, whether it is love, lust, or just a mild case of indigestion. Check out the crude flowchart below: (Click here to view larger, or click on the "i" on the upper left hand corner.)

Comments

[StephenMiller1958]

Sad to say I was in my fifties before I read an accurate definition of love... not as a feeling you feel but as the emotion that comes back to you:

"Love is the fealing you create in the mind and body of the person who is the object of your behaviour" In otherwords, in the long term you will get back what you put in.. whether to you partner, your parents, your siblings and your children and friends. Not necessarily from all of them but from most of them.

Try it, it works!

[jeffconnelly]

Ouch!

[jeffconnelly]

by the way, i meant the pic on step 9

[tommylovesjamie]

that does look like it was a tad painful. glad I never had to do/see that.

[netbus]

I've done something similar. I was in love with a girl so bad for like an year, and she didn't care. She KNEW it and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't let go. It... Changes you.
Self harm causes physical pain which provides a temporary relief of mental pain. After suffering for weeks it's a huge relief, but my friends have convinced me that this is bad.
I have a 1.5-inch long scar on the back of my right hand, 3 small scars a little less than 0.5 inches on the back of my left hand two of which are forming a cross, and a barely noticeable line on the tip of the second finger of my left hand that I cut to cause a bleeding and white "I <3 U" on a wall. Each letter was about 4 inches tall, with a stamp of my hand under the heart.

Self harm is BAD. DON'T do it. It is considered a mental disorder. When I'm sad I listen to music, cry(don't be ashamed of yourself!), talk to my friends, or start a campfire at night with my best friend. Find alternatives. But NEVER do self harm.

[Saturn V]

Basically, be truthful, but not too truthful. Say only nice things, or bad things in a gentle way. Sometimes even very gently.

[babebri]

I'm confused. I like a guy that i've been acting mean towards because i didn't know how to act toward him , now i am acting myself, which is really nice to him and he just keeps talking about the person he likes whos named breanna just like me, only i am brianna (she doesn't like him back)and i'm supposed to be a good friend so i fake a smile even though it hurts soo bad. I almost gave up on him ever liking me back cause all of the girls that like him are soo much more prettier than me, and skinnier, and he's amazing, funny, respectful, kind, would never use someone... the list goes on. Now i was talking to the girl he likes and she said he talks about me and says I'M amazing and I understand him, i was in absolute aw. She said she doesn't know if he likes me but i hope he does. What do i do? Btw we are both bi so we have something in common.

[Saturn V]

It's on the inside tat counts. If he only cares about looks, he's not worth it. If he doesn't care about looks, he's perfect. P.S. I know this is more than a year late, I just needed to say it.

[PyromaniacDaniel]

I realize this is half a year ago but still good advice. Just ask him. Say "hey I really like you. Your a great guy and I would totally be up for doing something more." You don't have to ask "hey you want to go on a date" but you most certainly can let him know that you are into him. Us guys are just as insecure and often times dumb struck. I know of no guy who would be offended by being asked by a girl. Communication is key whether your a guy, a girl, in a steady relationship, wanting a relationship, whatever it always applies yet is one of the most difficult things to do.

[Sponzyparadox]

Someone did that for me I would be late for the door that is just freaky

[One Lover]

This is one of the most heart warming instructables ever! Thank you for taking the time to make this!!! (BTW I love your diagram on step 1!)

[moosofa]

what about trying to rid your once-true-love from your heart, soul, and mind? turns out i'm not good enough to be loved and i want to look elsewhere, but can't stray from the longing.

[nikridgette]

these pictures suck. except for the train thing and the hamster one. :] how does this show LOVE???

[moosofa]

they're so close, their left legs are out of the picture, meaning they are probably very close. :]

[Babeejojo]

I have the most bestest boyfriend ever!!!.....and i know that he loves me and i love him...we are so close its not funny....we tell each other our secrets and were like brother and sister or best friends...but we do more things together.. ;)....
i have never felt so happy in mii life ever since i met him....and i even get sexual sturins wen som1 says his name and i like drole over nothing.....I LOVE HIM!!!!

[joeyward1]

u no wat your talking about! wise wise dude!:D

[Lex1337]

So far this had been a very good instructable, but I would like to make one suggestion of correction. You shouldn't always hang on their every word. That is almost impossible. Eeventually they are going to talk about something you find boring or stupid. The point is, even though you could care less about the subject, you love them enough to listen anyway and try to be as interested as possible. Hanging on their every word sounds like obsession. Caring about what they have to say, even if it is not interesting at all, is love.

[IcedShard]

Great Instructable, with a lot of good information. Being half Viet I particularly like the "pho ever" bit

[SlimShady4Life]

I love this girl and she doesn't love me. HOW do I get her to like me??!!

[LadyApril]

Thats true, girls like compliments. but i guess my advice for you is to become her friend but also give her some space. dont stare at her to much or make to many moves you know? sort of find out the type of girl she is ..flirt abit. just dont try to hard or she might freak out. girls can be touchy...
kinda find out if she likes you...just go with it =)
Love from,
A

[DragonX777]

I guess tell her that she is beautiful and she has a very cute smile. I guess women like getting attention from guys. Im not sure what would be the best way to ask them out.

[tommylovesjamie]

B-E-A-utiful. totally awesome. This 'able (I don't think 'ible should be proper considering the name of the site) just reminded me how much I love my beautiful wife. Thank you.

[Little_Schoolgirl]

the information is good but why would you use this Gustav Klimpt picture as the picture for the intro? This picture has nothing to do with love. In fact he painted this to show the strength of men. If you look at the woman's head it is bent at a really strange angle. She was being forced to kiss this man. He named this painting the kiss to be ironic but unfornately many people, like you, see this as an icon of true love but they are very mistaken.

[teeps]

wham bam thank you m'am, art history smack down! Great instructable by the way.

[MultigrainUnderwear]

GUSTAV KLIMPT! I love his paintings !

[Dragon Maze]

I thought for sure this was gonna turn out to be just an excuse to be preachy or insulting. Instead, in addition to hilarious image choices, this is an open and informative Instructable for something one would *think* was too abstract to be able to quantify instructions for. Most impressive.