Nonetheless, break-ups are an inevitable part of growing into the people we want to become, living the lives we want to lead.
Break-ups can happen for limitless reasons. But you can handle this event with dignity and sensitivity for the other person's experience.
The following are my suggestions for staging a respectful, honest break-up, while leaving room for a potential friendship in the future. Even if future contact isn't your goal, you'll be a happier person for handling a break-up responsibly, with grace and dignity.
I am not a professional counselor, but I have sought the advice of one in the writing of this Instructable.
special thanks to all of those who put creative commons licensing on their photos which allowed me to illustrate this instructable.
Step 1: Know why you want to break up
Your partner's going to want to know what the heck is going on. It's best for both of you if you are prepared to face this question.
If you're mad, that's one thing. Don't act on it just yet. It's really important that you take some time and consider exactly what it is that's made you mad.
If you're sad, or feeling some kind of hard-to-explain or unclear (even to you) emotion, you need to identify that too. It might not seem easy (perhaps you've been avoiding it?), but now's the time.
Is there someone else? Has another prospect drawn your eye? Have you already acted on these feelings? Whether or not you have, you need to get to the bottom of why this is happening - why you're attracted to someone else right now. Working this out now will help prevent a long series of making the same mistakes in the future.
Get some paper. Write down everything you're feeling.
It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't need punctuation or good spelling or even legible handwriting. This is for your eyes only!
While you're writing, ask yourself some questions:
- Does the relationship make you feel good?
- Does the relationship allow you to evolve and grow in your own directions?
- Does your partner accept you exactly the way you are?
- Do you communicate well?
- Can you resolve conflicts together?
- Do you feel safe?
- What do you feel you're missing?