Today, I Dr. Picklecircumflexficklesteinmoneybags will be showing you how to break the expensive hardware from which you are currently reading this from. That's right! We're going to break your computer the easy way! Using simple differential calculus, a swiffer duster, a toilet seat, and a gift from Glenn Harper's gift emporium and moon base we'll have that computer broken lickety-split!
You will not use any of the materials above. You only need the computer itself.
Step 1: First find the "Start" button in the bottom left hand side of the desktop. There should be a picture of the most superior operating system on it. If there isn't, you made a huge mistake way before you started this tutorial and should break your computer by smashing it with a hammer.