Today, I Dr. Picklecircumflexficklesteinmoneybags will be showing you how to break the expensive hardware from which you are currently reading this from. That's right! We're going to break your computer the easy way! Using simple differential calculus, a swiffer duster, a toilet seat, and a gift from Glenn Harper's gift emporium and moon base we'll have that computer broken lickety-split!
You will not use any of the materials above. You only need the computer itself.
Step 1: First find the "Start" button in the bottom left hand side of the desktop. There should be a picture of the most superior operating system on it. If there isn't, you made a huge mistake way before you started this tutorial and should break your computer by smashing it with a hammer.
Step 2: Click the Start button and a tab will open up. Locate the search bar at the bottom right of the tab.
Step 3: In the search bar type "cmd". After doing this, a program called "cmd" can be found in the search results.
Step 4: Open cmd and you should find yourself face to face with a command prompt interface. In the command prompt type
Step 5: After typing the command into the command prompt you will see your computer freeze up. Approximately 10-20 seconds later you will see the blue screen of death appear on your computer. This either signifies that a certain someone whose name starts with a C that is followed by an O, then an L then an E hacked into the main internet computer mainframe and is accessing your private files, or you succeeded in breaking your computer.
Step 6: With your computer completely totaled you never have to worry about viruses, "Harper Hackers" , or gum in your disc drive ever again! Congratulations! NOW CELEBRATE YOUR ACT OF PERSONAL VANDALISM!