Introduction: How to Breed Rocks

There comes a time in every person's life when they need to breed, this is a fact. What you're not told in the last year of primary school is that there comes a time in every rock's life when they need to breed. That's right, rocks breed, and by carefully controlling the breedstock, you can get different kinds of rock, isn't that great?!
In this Instructable, i'm going to show you how to breed rocks.

Step 1: The Stock

Any breeder will tell you that the stock is the most important part of breeding things. Any programmer will tell you GIGO, ergo if you want to get good baby rocks, you need to have good parent rocks.
I'm using a middle-aged basalt, and a gaudy ore. Peacock ore, to be exact.
You'll need a warm, dry place to put your rocks, and some way of ensureing that they're not disturbed when they're...doing whatever it is rocks do.

Step 2: The Miracle of Birth

So, now your rocks are in a box, with no chance of any interruption,. doing what comes naturally. After a while, if you open the box again, you should have some nice cute baby rocks, which you can sell as pets, or use to breed even better rocks.
Thanks for reading this instructable.
Get Breeding! The world needs moar Rocks!

Comments

author
The_NPP made it! (author)2017-06-09

I tried this and it works. My house is filling up with rocks.
How do I get them to stop breeding?

author
Judith the Rock made it! (author)2016-11-27

ways to get pebbles
1 go buy some pebbles or pick up some
2 Smash One rock to get another
3 Buy Fish tank Pebbles

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waggy101 made it! (author)2013-11-29

:). LOL

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andys-in-da-house made it! (author)2013-09-28

how long did it take for your rocks to breed

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aspindler2 made it! (author)2013-08-28

Meth, clearly the only rock this author has experience with :p

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tareko made it! (author)2012-11-02

Nice instructable. Thanks for sharing.
Can’t say I endorse this instructable. Rocks have rights and more important, they have feelings. You just don’t put rocks together and expect them to breed.
In the expression “Nature take it’s course”, the key word is “Nature”, therefore, the vast outdoors.
Just Google the expression “pedras parideiras” and find out how some rocks breed in the natural environment.

author
josefu0 made it! (author)2010-10-12

how can u tell the difference between a rock male and rock female.

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Dr. Who made it! (author)Dr. Who2011-11-14

they dont have male/female. there all the same gender. there gender is stone.

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Marinus84 made it! (author)2008-01-05

This instructable is a hoax, it doesn't work, even after 2 weeks :( Or am i doing it wrong?

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Vendigroth made it! (author)Vendigroth2008-01-05

Your rocks obviously aren't in the mood.

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Marinus84 made it! (author)Marinus842008-01-05

i tried some other ones too, and different rooms and bixes, it doesn't work, it's a load of crap

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Vendigroth made it! (author)Vendigroth2008-01-05

You're obviously doing it wrong, cos i did it, and made an instructable on it. It's on the internet, it's got to be true.

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Marinus84 made it! (author)Marinus842008-01-05

i get the feeling you're pulling my leg here :(

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Vendigroth made it! (author)Vendigroth2008-01-06

It's totally real! honest!

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guitarist3000 made it! (author)guitarist30002010-09-26

lies. It's simple life science. rocks aren't living things

author
popcorn4lunch made it! (author)popcorn4lunch2011-02-17

then why are there pet rocks?!

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patriots8888 made it! (author)patriots88882011-07-17

to make rocks feel good about them selves

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jimmydean made it! (author)jimmydean2008-08-11

That's not a leg.

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homebowyerboy made it! (author)homebowyerboy2008-01-18

lol!!!

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megjp made it! (author)megjp2010-07-26

mabey ur using 2 boys or 2 girls

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The Stig made it! (author)The Stig2008-01-09

They're clearly past the stage where their relationship is new and exciting. They need something to get the excitement back. I recommend a candlelit dinner in the park, followed by some wine. That should get them in the mood.

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Ivraine made it! (author)Ivraine2010-04-25

meh, fail, infertile rocks obviously, maybe two guy rocks? maybe you should get a bucket full of them!

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patriots8888 made it! (author)2011-07-17

After i locked my rocks in a box, they suffocated. I will take you to court and sue unless you give me 100 rock babies. Thanks in advance

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sir-zeke made it! (author)2011-04-13

My rocks don't seem to be breeding correctly, I leave them there and they don't... interact... any suggestions?

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Justdoofus made it! (author)2009-02-28

Marinus, It's fake, I'm thirteen. It's impossible to "Breed" a rock... Just don't believe every thing you see on the internet, and the other people here saying it worked, are just playing along.

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Vendigroth made it! (author)Vendigroth2009-03-01

Of course it's not fake you silly person.

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Derin made it! (author)Derin2009-04-30

It is.

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popcorn4lunch made it! (author)popcorn4lunch2011-02-17

its not

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mg0930mg made it! (author)mg0930mg2009-05-23

How do you get more rocks then?

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Sandisk1duo made it! (author)Sandisk1duo2009-07-07

from secret rock farms

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mg0930mg made it! (author)mg0930mg2009-07-08

secret rock farms that breed them there?

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xerxesx20 made it! (author)xerxesx202009-08-27
Yes, secret rock farms that breed them.

The birth rate is very low as it is all done *under pressure and often at ~gunpoint, which of course upsets the rocks and thus spoils the fertility of the feedstock and %when new rocks are born they are often deformed and die shortly after.

  • That part IS true.
~ That part ain't true.
% Ever seen the Fly?!
author
guitarist3000 made it! (author)guitarist30002010-09-26

i'm with doofus!!

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tevers94 made it! (author)tevers942009-07-08

no its real. I tried it, just make sure the rocks like each other. And give them time, and you don't want to walk in on them.

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mg0930mg made it! (author)mg0930mg2009-05-23

How do you get more rocks then?

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TheGreatS made it! (author)2010-12-16

Smelting is a more forced breading but is much more reliable for pure ore.

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Screamo made it! (author)2010-10-27

Stupid O.o.

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ajkninja made it! (author)2010-04-10

 I saw your rock breeding technique and it worked i sold my babies for $50 each!!!!

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142687 made it! (author)1426872010-05-11

why sell rocks for 50 bucks?!!!!!!!!!!! how about 100 bucks!

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BobMarleyFan made it! (author)BobMarleyFan2010-10-15

id easily buy for 150 if theyre good purebreds

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guitarist3000 made it! (author)2010-09-26

I have had some rocks in a box for a few years now and... nothing

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ben360 made it! (author)2010-03-28

I asked my dad about this instructable. I didn't think it was true. But my dad, being old enough to remember when every kid had a pet rock, confirmed this interesting truth of life. One of his friends bred rocks with his family and sold them to the other kids. My dad, when he was 11, found a feral sandstone and took it in. It never reproduced, though, because he had it neutered (spayed?) at a local minerinarian's. Another thing he remembers is the beautiful amethyst that a snotty kid's family owned which was the envy of all rock breeders. It could sometimes be seen strutting around town, showing off its shine, but it was easily scared off by the tougher metallic rock that the aforementioned breeder's family owned. I asked him for tips, but he said he always tried to peek in on the rocks when they were getting it on, which angered them so they weren't "in the mood" anymore.

Here's a picture of one of his friend's rocks.

IMG_3252.JPG
author
Re-design made it! (author)2009-10-23

While this does look to be a "fake or Joke" instructable  you have infact while trying to be funny hit upon an know occurance.

It only happens at random intervals and there has to be a good quantity of breed stock.  I've not found a way to determine the sex of rock or even the breeding age of a rock.  From those that I've found that are breeding the age of maturity must be pretty high.

Since the mating process has never been recorded there is a great possilbility that reproduction is probably asexual.  But the presence of large quantities of individual rocks seems to promote reproduction.  Maybe this causes a hormonal excess and fertility to start the process.

I first discovered that rocks to reproduce when I built my first house.  The land I build on was fairly rocky already so there was a really good breed stock available.  I was getting the area in front of the house ready to put down sod and for weeks I was removing the rocks to another lockation.  After several afternoons of work I carefully took stock of what was left to move and every morning when I started again the was atleast twice as many rocks there as I saw the night before.  The only explanation there could be was "rocks reproduce".

author
klingonprins made it! (author)klingonprins2010-02-25

wow.  nobody has ever gone so far or worked so much for something as weird as rock breeding.  not even the inventors of klingon language wasted their time like you just did

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Re-design made it! (author)Re-design2010-02-25

Satire is never a waste of one's time.

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Turtleholmes made it! (author)2010-02-21

Hmm, what's the meat like on these things? I'd like to set up a rockery of my own underneath some trees outside so I won't have to go all the way down to the shop to get rock meat.

How long does it generally take for rocks to mature? Can I expect say, two or three rocks to get big enough in time for Christmas dinner?

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im_tux made it! (author)2008-02-12

wonder what happens when you leave 2 computers alone do you get cell phones or pda's?

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Vendigroth made it! (author)Vendigroth2008-02-12

You should find out, and get back to us.

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im_tux made it! (author)im_tux2008-02-13

well tried it and i put my laptop and desktop together and came back and found 3 little mp3 players, mabye they will grow up to be dual core compters

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Supercoke made it! (author)Supercoke2010-01-28

the little mp3 ran up to daddy desktop and said:" when i grow up i wanna be just like you!" hhahahaha that is sooooo funny!!!! i had a laptop and a desk top too but they were pretty feisty and when i got back from school my desktop had a virus.  O_0

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