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How to Catch a Panda

How to Catch a Panda

Something was getting into my garbage at night.  I also believe whatever it is has been pirating my wi-fi.  Despite what those naysayers at Animal Control or Virginia Department of Fish and Game said, I was pretty sure it was a panda bear.  Perhaps it had escaped from a nearby zoo, or maybe the guy across the street left his gate open again, either way my garbage cans were being knocked over, there was trash all over my driveway, and Farmville has been running extra slow.  So I developed a plan.
 
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Step 1Materials

Materials
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This can all be assembled with a few simple household items
What you will need:
Knife or scissors
Book
Chair (I did not add a picture of a chair, as I feel that if you don't know what a chair looks like, your time could be better spent than in the pursuit of panda bears)
Cardboard box (preferably a refrigerator box.  I wasn't about to buy a new refrigerator just to do this, so I made do with what I had)
Duct tape (I used um...Monkey tape? Chimp tape? Something like that)
Small Bungee cord
A few small lengths of 20 gauge wire
Small light bulb (big bulb if you are using a refrigerator box)
Bit of string
plutonium rod (optional)
Semtex (or any other C4 plastic explosive derivative)(optional)
Kitchen timer (optional)
For demonstration safety purposes we used Sculpey in place of the plastic explosive. The Plutonium is real.
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10 comments
Oct 14, 2011. 8:55 PMkbybee02 says:
OMG. I nearly peed my pants. Fantastic!
Sep 11, 2011. 4:37 PMCatt123456 says:
nice job getting on the front page
Sep 11, 2011. 3:46 PMbigmark says:
Are you sure it's not a skunk???
well be careful & happy trapping!!!
Sep 11, 2011. 12:38 PMmonsterlego says:
Ah, thas pandas can bay nastay.
Sep 11, 2011. 11:35 AMChrysN says:
Funny!
Sep 11, 2011. 11:26 AMthematthatter says:
i dont live in panda territory, but there is known big foot in the area. I think ill need a bigger box to catch one of them.

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Author:MonsterAttic
When I grow up I'm going to be a grizzled old curmudgeon.