How to Cut Down a Tree

Warning! Get really drunk first. Then it won't hurt so much when you chainsaw your face off and crush your family.

First step - find a tree to cut down. No problem. As soon as you know how to cut down a tree people will sense it and constantly ask you to cut down trees for them.
It will help if you know some of the technical vocabulary:

Equipment: Every piece of equipment used in this process is called a "Widowmaker".
Tree Anatomy: The tree and every part of the tree is called a "Widowmaker".
Terrain Analysis: Everything in the vicinity of the tree is called a "Widowmaker".

Act really confident and relaxed as shown in this photo. (pics by ex_mo)
I'm saying "you mean this tree over here?"

Step 1 Cut a Notch in the Felling Direction

Make it a big notch that goes more than halfway through the tree.
The "mouth" part of this notch faces in the direction you want your tree to fall.
If the tree is mostly upright and the branches are sort of symmetrical it will want to fall that direction.

We tied a rope to the top of the tree to help it fall in the direction we wanted.

Comments

[MikleJayWox]

You will please also notice that in step 5 cousin Rod is displaying the latest in Xineese safety footwear.

The secret to this product is the toughened canvas upper. After the tree lands on your foot all the pieces are ready packaged for the ambulance trip!

MJR

[Lonewolf4542]

the worst thing you can do is cut down a tree from a ladder, this is how most accidents happen. You wanna get in the crotch of the tree and cut down the limb u want and if u notch a tree halfway, its too much. The Noch should be 2/3 in the tree.

[TheoriginalClark]

Well done & very funny! Despite all the naysaying commentators, you can't argue with success! This is so funny that I had to share the info with my brother.

[Tree Guy]

This is hilarious! This is one of the funniest tree cutting down articles I've seen. I think that most people would see that his is a joke so for all of you who are worried about the misinformation in this post; laugh a little! Basically, every thing that you could do wrong is being done in this example.

[geoslim13]

my dad took a chainsaw to the gut this summer, yes the blade was moving, and all it gave him was a bad case of rug burn, but his favorite shirt was not so lucky

[QCtreeclimber]

THIS IS NOT GOOD INFORMATION!!!!! NO ONE ATTEMPT TO DO ANYTHING DESCRIBED IN THIS INSTRUCTABLE!!!! NOTHING IN THIS ARTICLE IS CORRECT!!!! YOU WILL BE  DEAD OR IN THE HOSPITAL!!!  HIRE A PROFESSIONAL!!!!! IT IS CHEAPER THAN A FUNERAL!!

[QCtreeclimber]

Everything I have seen on this intructable is WRONG. NO ONE EVER DO ANYTHING CLOSE TO WHAT THIS PERSON HAS DONE!!!!!!D

[QCtreeclimber]

I climb, prune and remove trees for a living and this looks like a disaster.  You would be better off hiring someone unless you have extensive knowledge of the different fiber strengths of different species.  Nearly every week I hear about another home owner who thinks they can do this safely and ends up dead, cutting off an arm or leg (or someone else's), or dropping a tree on a car or house.  I work with a chainsaw daily and it never ceases to amaze me the lack of respect that people have for these tools.  Chainsaws are not something to joke about and can cut your face in half before you know what is going on.  Google chainsaw accidents, go buy some chaps, hearing protection, safety glasses, boots, and gloves.  Use the saw for cutting up fire wood, I strongly urge you to not attempt felling trees. 

[QCtreeclimber]

Chaps? hearing protection? safety glasses? gloves? The notch should be no more than 1/3rd of the diameter.

[El Zagna]

A notch that is "more than halfway" through the tree is too much. Between one-third and one-half  is more like it.

[titivillus]

well, I took your advice and got really really drunk and now I think the tree looks great and I can now wait til it dies and falls down by its self; it is not close enough to the house to matter anyway.  what I can't remember is why i wanted to take down that beautiful tree anyway.

thanks again and bottoms up.
james

[JimBeam2]

I work in forestry and have cut down trees for a living and i think this article could do with a little revision because of how dangerous cutting down trees is. In this article you should state that your backcut should be flat unlike the one shown in the photo where it comes down at an angle. Also you should make sure that your notch is cut cleanly and that the cuts meet evenly, and the notch should only be about 1/3 into the tree not half. Also you should stress the importance of leaving hingewood - wood between your backcut and notch - because without this you have no way to control where the tree goes. It's also a good idea to use wedges in your back cut to prevent the tree from slipping back onto your saw or falling the wrong way.

[Ben.land101]

 well whenever you make the back cut at an angle as he did, then if it hits another tree on the way down, then it is less likely to kick back at you and turn your good day into a bad one real fast. also, when you have an angled back-cut and don't leave a good hinge on it, it is more likely to go in the intended direction

[Oval]

The back cut should be horizontal, not on an angle as you are showing here.

You should wear eye and hearing protection when using a chain saw. I don't think it's a very good idea to be wearing shorts and there is no excuse for crocs, especially when operating a chain saw.

[maclee]

I have cut down a lot of trees over many years, and find the instructions here, along with the warnngs, to be as good as it can get. One thing I always do is be certain I have a firm grip on the chan saw handles, and that my feet are well planted. I also check that my probable escape route is relatively clear.for when the tree starts to fall, especially if it is big one. Thanks for this good information website. Harry.

[Yerboogieman]

very well told, great instructable

[pixbytrix]

Any pointers on cutting down a tree that is leaning towards your neighbor's house that will probably have to come down over a public (city) road? This scenario looks much easier than mine. I've always wanted to play with a chain saw . . . : )

[killerjackalope]

Yeah cut most of the way through with an axe and smoke your cars clutch while rmoving the garden gates very quickly via falling trees, I combined four jobs in one:
Remove large tree - check
Remove stupid gate - check
Test unbreakable tow rope - check (it failed)

Fix bent inward tow bar - check (tow bar = hitch in america)

Extra freebie jobs done
Smoke clutch - Check
Gain one hulk shoulder - Check
Get horrible gash fro falling tree - Check
Return Six assorted flying items to street people - Check

[rocknrollskwurl]

is what my neighbor did was cut off the top first and then the bottom down it took longer and was harder but his house was saved

[killerjackalope]

I prefer using the biggest heaviest axe I can find, also called the widowmaker, it's predecessor was used for all round cutting of things and I found that dried wood will detonate if hit hard enough, ears ringing I stood up straight and looked for the other half, it landed on my head a few seconds later.

[mathewgamblesweden]

or just leave it to the pros. as that is nearly 100% incorrect and dangerous.

[X_D_3_M_1]

idk why, but u in that hat... brings back memories of resident evil 4 when the psycho saws ur head off with a double chainsaw

[X_D_3_M_1]

liek this

[ComfortablyPlum]

It's a good idea to use a VERY long rope, or have Oompaloompas sufficently fleet of foot so as not to end the day with Oompaloompas conciderably flatter than the ones you started with.

[taradiddle]

Your funny and Great Tim, keep it up! I play Yahoo Answers and I included this in a question on how to cut a tree, (I'm Jaccie, Tom's wife, you bought the Datsun Diesel from us the other month, remember?)I hope you have fun with that too! And say hi to your wonderful g-friend for me too, thanks! I will be watching to see what becomes of the Datsun!

[AT]

You don't even have to know what you are doing to get people to invite you over to cut their trees down. All you have to do is go out and buy a chain saw and know how to start it. The people will be calling you to come over, "Oh, and bring your chainsaw. I have a little tree that needs to come down." The little tree turns out to be 60 feet tall! All you have to do then is say "Where do you want it?" And let the fun begin... Nice instructable Tim. Paul Ernst invited me over to run my chain saw that I loaned him. He didn't want to run the widowmaker. I took a look at his 60+ foot tall tree and said "Where do you want it?"

[bumpus]

good explenation, i suck at spelling, i noticed that you have no top on your hat? intresting...

[unclelar]

Looks to me like he is pointing to what looks to be a squirrel sitting on top of the black metal post.

[Kiteman]

You appear to be pointing at the tree the ladder is not leaning against?