How to Eat a Bag of Chips in a Civilized Fashion.

Picture of How to Eat a Bag of Chips in a Civilized Fashion.
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No really. You don't want a bowl (dishes!) you don't want to dump them out, you don't want to crunch and crumble and dig, and make mylar noises (gauche!)

And you wish to be civilized.

Your journey starts now.
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Step 1: Open the bag.

Picture of Open the bag.
I know this is obvious obviousness, but you have acquired a bag of chips, or other mythical snacks from the grocery store vending machine or the unicorn repair shop.

NOW you would like to consume the tasty snacks, so thusly you must open the bag and free the deliciousness from its mylar prison.

The commonly chosen methodology is to pinch the seam on the back of the bag, and the frontspiece similarly and gently but firmly pull the plastic apart. This will open the bag easily and prepare you for step 2.

Step 2: Identification and Controlled Opening.

Picture of Identification and Controlled Opening.
That sounds a bit like sex... but I swear this is easier.

Locate the corner of the bag that you had pulled apart. the corner piece will be weak, and easy to tear. (it like if you want to rip a T-shirt off of a chippendale -- you generally need a starter cut to tear the shirt without mussing your hair or breaking an un-sexy sweat.)

At that corner, use both hands to pinch the mylar -- one pinch on each side of the corner. And in a "tearing motion" use the weak point to start the opening - taking it in the direction of the front of the bag.

Grace is paramount!

Step 3: Tear in an Arch...

Picture of Tear in an Arch...
...Which has nothing to do with crying under the Arc de Triomphe or something.

While tearing -- which will be more of a "glide" as mylar splits easily -- you will giude the tear into an arch that will go about 1/2 way down the bag, and then up to the other weak corner.

This motion should be smooth, for additional levels of classiness.

socrateez6 years ago
That is a great idea! Saves one from having to dirty a bowl or plate, and the hidden finger walk in the bag! Educated and entertained as well, nice job.
haptotrope (author)  socrateez6 years ago
...and you can see which chips the guy who just picked his nose touched. Eating should not be like scrabble! :-)
nruegs6 years ago
Excellent idea, excellent presentation.
haptotrope (author)  nruegs6 years ago
Gracias! I like the simple life tricks the best.
Ushanka6 years ago
As a regular eater of chip/crisp bags, I find this impressive and brilliant. It worked well on the first try with a Lays back. I feel so classy!
haptotrope (author)  Ushanka6 years ago
I'm glad I could bring a wee bit of class to your life. Don't squander it on loose women.
PKM6 years ago
Mmm, a touch of class :) I love your writing style (and the artsy B/W photos of a pencil with a rolled up piece of crisp bag stuck to it)!
haptotrope (author)  PKM6 years ago
Brilliant! Thank you! Happy snack consuming!