Ahh, the French kiss . . . a timeless expression of romantic passion that we have all seen others engage in. We see it in movies, hear friends (or the people they are dating) wax anxious about their technique, catch glimpses at parties, and read tips in books and magazines. A French kiss is an exciting and intimate moment between two people who are attracted to one another, and a symbol of that passion. Chances are, boy or girl, if you haven't yet experienced a French kiss, your lips long to.
Not sure how to kiss? Well, French kissing shares many of the same principles and techniques as normal kissing and making out, so be sure to also check out the Instructables How to Kiss and How to Make Out. Both are very informative and helpful to those curious about kissing, and both touch on all the topics that should be addressed. But if you are just interested in learning about French kissing and you want to know how to gage body language and work up to kissing that involves the tongue, then you’re in the right place! In this Instructable I will focus on the French kiss alone.
The French kiss is not a science, it is an art that is open to the interpretation of all who partake. It comes naturally to some of us but is intimidating to others, and while there is a certain amount of skill involved, it is mostly instinct that will develop naturally with time.
By creating this Instructable, I hope to help you become a confident, compassionate, French kisser and to alleviate your nervousness about kissing — and possibly to improve your experience! All I ask is that you try to be safe by making sure you are healthy before you start kissing. Your partner won’t appreciate it if you get them sick.
Don’t be left with just a peck on the cheek. Read on to learn how to be forward and go for it!
Step 1: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
There are some standards of things that are fairly constant across the board that I will go in to depth about. The definition of a French kiss, as defined by wikipedia, is "a passionate romantic or sexual kiss in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue (or lips) and usually enters his/her mouth." Well, I think we all knew that much, so I hope to be able to teach how to French kiss well. We have all heard horror stories about "bad kissers" and obviously do not want to be labeled as such. Read on to find some "Do's" and "Don'ts" of French kissing.
Step 2: Preparation - Have Fresh Breath
Having bad breath is a major turn off for many partners out there. Having good breath is something you should want to have around people in general. It is especially important for a French kiss as you will be exchanging saliva with your partner. Try to not to eat smelly things before a kiss such as garlic or onions. Gum and mints help, but can only do so much. In the event of having smelly food, or in the event of having food that leaves a residue in your mouth, it is best to brush your teeth if you can. If you can't bush your teeth, try drinking lots of water to clean out your mouth. Then try mints/gum.
This is not necessary for all partners, but until you know your partner's kissing preferences, it is a good thing to take into consideration as most people enjoy the clean palate so that they can focus on the kiss itself.
Step 3: Have Soft, moist lips
Chapstick is something that guys and gals alike can carry on them and use often. Soft lips are enticing where as dry lips are quite the opposite. Would you want to kiss someone with cracked, chapped lips or soft, smooth lips? I thought so. :P
This is something very easy to do! Just carry around a tube with you and apply as need. Voila! Instant kissable lips. Also, keep in mind that most lipsticks can be very sticky and unpleasant to transfer via kiss. They look pretty, yes, but be sure if you want to use lipstick or gloss, that it will not hinder the kiss. Sometimes flavored lip gloss can be fun. ;)
Step 4: Find Someone to Kiss
Hopefully you have someone in mind before this point, but if it is a spur of the moment urge, find yourself someone you would like to kiss. Make sure they want to be kissed as well, otherwise, the kiss may very well end unpleasantly. You can generally tell if someone wants to be kissed by their body language. If they are willing to be very close to you and touch you, if they have steady eye contact, and if they have been flirting, it is a good bet that they want to be kissed.
I know that this may be a little tricky at this point, but it's very important. By the time you're done here, confidence should not be an issue. Confidence is important because it shows your partner that you want to kiss them and have no doubt. It helps them relax too.
Step 5: Start off Slowly
Lean in closely to your partner and look into their eyes. If they want to be kissed, kiss them. Tilt your head slightly to the side so that your noses do not bump. Keep eye contact with them until your lips touch, at which point you should close your eyes. It is generally considered rude to kiss with your eyes open and can ruin the intimacy of the moment.
Let your lips softly touch and pull away from each other in a kiss. Pause for a moment and gage how the other person is enjoying this kiss. You can pull away slightly to look into their eyes. If they liked your kiss, try another one on them. Maybe let this one last a moment longer or kiss them a couple times. Make sure your kisses are soft.
Step 6: How to know when to transition your kiss to a French kiss
There isn't going to be a moment at which you will want to stop and ask for permission, "Hey, mind if we swap saliva?" So, you will need to test the waters to see if your partner wants to be kissed. When you have decided you want to French kiss, start kissing your partner with a slight open mouth, but keep your tongue inside. This lets your partner know that your mouth is open and that you are up for French kissing. Continue kissing with an open mouth and then, very slightly, touch your partner's lips with your tongue. If they respond negatively, stop. If they don't respond, then be patient. They might not be ready yet. If your partner mirrors your actions by opening their mouth, then they are ready to move on.
Step 7: An open mouth kiss
By now, you and your partner are probably both gingerly touching each other with your tongues. If you are both comfortable, feel free to explore each other's mouths with your tongues. Keep in mind that it's always better to do a little bit at a time to get a feel for it. Remember to occasionally pull your tongue into your own mouth so you do not bombard your partner. Small, exploring French kisses are what you want for the moment.
Swallow your saliva. French kisses are bound to get a little messy, but control it as much as you can by swallowing your saliva. If you can't do this while kissing, do it when you are giving your partner a short break from the French kiss. This should be a short, momentary break and you should continue to be engaged with your hands.
Continue exploring each other's mouths. Keep a soft tongue. For most people, it is a major turn off to feel a ridged tongue in their mouth. It isn't welcoming or sensual in any way. Remember that your tongue is one of the most sensitive parts on your body and should be kissed as such. Think of licking ice cream from a soft-serve cone. You don't want a lot of pressure. Just enough to lick a small layer of ice cream off. That is the same thing to think about when kissing.
Step 8: Remember your hands
When kissing, it is very important to remember your hands in relation to your partner's body. When you begin kissing, keep your hands gently touching your partner. Try gingerly stroking their cheek or running your fingers through their hair.
As the kiss progresses, so may your hands. Try running your hand down their back while one hand plays with their hair. Or just embrace them gently. You will find what you are most comfortable with. The important thing is to remember not to let your arms just hang there! Let your hands mirror what your mouth is up to.
Step 9: Remember your partner!
Remember that not everybody likes to be kissed the same way and be mindful of that. Be open to trying new things for your partner and be willing to kiss them differently if that is what they like. You want this experience to be optimum for both parties. :)
Make sure to be a good partner. The best kissers are those who figure out how their partner likes to be kissed. I have given the best guidelines that follow how most people like to be kissed, but remember to be considerate if your partner wants to try something different.
If your partner is not happy, neither will you be eventually because they will not want to kiss you anymore! Although it may seem awkward, talk to your partner at a later time and ask them how they like to be kissed the best and take it into consideration.
Step 10: Practice makes perfect!
Don't have anyone to try this with quite yet? No problem, you can still practice. Remember how we talked about the soft-serve ice cream cone? Try one out with kissing in mind. Remember how your tongue feels in that way.
Don't be embarrassed to practice on yourself! Well, you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but practicing on yourself is a great way to start. Trying kissing your hand and follow the technique.
Everybody will develop their own "art" to French kissing, so just give it time! The more you do it, the better you'll get! Thankfully, it's fun to practice!
Now go out there and grab yourself somebody to kiss! Have fun and be safe!
This was my first Instructable and if you enjoyed it let me know! I would love to get some feed back. :)