Instructables
LISTEN UP!
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 Alright ladies it is time for you big bunch a sissy boys to start acting like real men! The best way on Gods' green earth for that monumental task is to grow a Moustache! THIS IS NOT FOR THE FEINT OF HEART! many of you girly men won't even survive till the end of this guide, so the people out there who are tired of their pitiful selves follow me! To the rest of you boy band rejects go drink some soy milk.

Step 1: Gather your Supplies!

Picture of Gather your Supplies!
Fist thing is first! We are going to need some supplies for this journey into manliness. This is a list of the basic essentials you will need for this mission. Individual tastes will change from girl to girl, but you turd biters can figure out the rest on your own. GO OUT AND BUY EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST! I don't care is you already have this stuff go buy more, your gonna need it!

       
1. SOAP
                -Plain and unscented is best.
2. SCISSORS
                -Mens grooming scissors, they will have a slight curve to the cutting part to make it easier to trim your leg hair.
 3. DISPOSABLE RAZOR
                - Do not use a straight razor, you too stupid not to hurt yourself.
4. MOUSTACHE WAX
                  - Needed to tame the monster we are creating. When buying was make sure it is moustache wax, there are a lot of products out there that look like they will work the same way, but they won't.
5. LITTLE COMB
                  - Often sold with the wax or in a kit with the scissors.

********** NOT SHOWN**********
6. A pack of light bulbs.
Now it is finally time to begin you belated journey into decency! MOVE OUT!
 
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Pretty good work, son.

My only complaint is..(and it's a big one) the fact that you even OWN "Dove" brand vagina soap, let alone use it on your face.

IF and when you decide to become a MAN, use some real man soap like "Grandpa's Wonder Pine Tar Soap" or "Lucky Scruff" handmade pine tar soap, these soaps are made for men, they're actually good for your face / beard / hair. And you get the added bonus of NOT having to use girly soaps.

Man up, boy.
, uncle Hank
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Plo Koon4 months ago

Mustaches are quite manly. However, I am going to keep my facial hair curtailed for the time being. When I am a bit older, however, I will likely grow some form of mustache/beard.

Also, here is a link to a blog by a MAN known as Dr. Awesome. He is one of the highest authorities on manliness. Study and practice his teachings, and your manliness will increase exponentially!

http://gotmanswers.blogspot.com/

Please understand that I am in no way, shape, form, or fashion trying to even remotely insult your undoubtedly great manliness. Respect, sir!

JustPrism2 years ago
This whole thing was hilarious.
team fortress 2 is awesome. why did they have to make it free though?
To get new players, and more potential mann co store buyers. It's working, trust me, they made loads of cash of newcomers.
omnitron3 years ago
you sir are a champion among men. i myself have no moustache and am quite shamed to read this instructable without one however one day i aspire to grow one like Brian orosco (look him up). perhaps you can give instructions to promote healthy moustache growth. if so i would be greatly indebted and refer to you sen cay from then and every day on.
Nameramthgin (author)  omnitron3 years ago
BRIAN OROSCO!? I do not need to increase my knowledge on that paragon of manly virtue!!!!! I know Full well who he is! A true competitor of ninja warrior! as for growing tips, there is a comment I left on here about lemon juice and rubbing alcohol, find it and follow it. ALSO CONTINUE WATCHING NINJA WARRIOR!!! MANLY HOBBIES PROMOTE MANLY FACIAL HAIR!. YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO TIGER PUNTING AND BEAR BLASTING TOO!!!! You should also start building small models and then destroying them while laughing maniacally. It will help prepare you for your inevitable attempt at world domination.
thank you master i truely apreiate all you are doing for the jellyfish of this soon to fall world
kretzlord3 years ago
Everything i read in this instructable has had the voice of R. Lee Ermey screaming in my head. Thank you for the wonderful instructable, i might have to grow my moustache out to match the beard...
Good on ya.
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jmackenzie53 years ago
Your mustache is thin and lacks girth...I challenge your mustache to a duel!
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Nameramthgin (author)  jmackenzie53 years ago
COME PREPARED BOY!
My moustache has plenty of back up, and God help you if I have to pull out my back or chest hair.......
I want to have a mustache duel!?! Time to grow out the beard and lay the ground work for the disasterstach that shall pummel all weakling thin staches! jmackenzie5... I'm not talking to you as you already have a fully developed manstache! Nice work!
Is mustache duel a euphemism for guys making out? Not that there's anyth
bahah, honestly I was more inclined to a mustache off as in growing a mustache and seeing which one is more manlier..either that or imagining two mustaches taking 10 paces and quick drawing pistols...You on the other hand may have some confusion about your sexual orientation my friend..no worries, I refer you to Mr. Freddie Mercury for all your mustache riding dreams.
Nameramthgin (author)  jmackenzie53 years ago
HOW DARE YOU TAKE THE NAME OF FARROKH BULSARA IN VEIN!! YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO EVERYTHING MANLY ABOUT MOUSTACHES! YOU ARE NOT EVEN WORTHY TO SIT IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIS SPANDEX!
Errrr. Idk. If it is I retract my previous statement
Nameramthgin (author)  bmumaw3 years ago
roflolshmsfoaidmt
Nameramthgin (author)  Ziggythewiz3 years ago
roflol.
Nameramthgin (author)  jmackenzie53 years ago
You know, i had thought up a really funny response and was gonna post it to continue the insanity of the conversation, but after bmumaw's comment I just don't think that I can.
book worm3 years ago
MINE WAS LONELY SO GREW A FRIENDLY BEARD TO GO WITH IT
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Nameramthgin (author)  book worm3 years ago
FRIENDLY BEARDS ASSIST THE MOUSTACHE IN KEEPING ONES FACE WARM!!!!
N4CRLucky3 years ago
Mustache wax is not enough for me! I had to go for MAXIMUM HOLD hair gel to get my necessary curl =D
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Nameramthgin (author)  N4CRLucky3 years ago
SUITABLY APPROPRIATE!
tfarner3 years ago
I've seen better mustaches on a post-menopausal woman!
Nameramthgin (author)  tfarner3 years ago
YOU SHOULD PICK YOU COMPANY BETTER THEN!
^this
Rbwood3 years ago
Superb!
ntsagarides3 years ago
Isn't Lady Gaga manly enough?
Nameramthgin (author)  ntsagarides3 years ago
OH GOD I HOPE NOT............
That stuff hanging into your mouth has got to be unsanitary.
Nameramthgin (author)  emerson.john3 years ago
ABSOLUTELY! BUT IT BUILDS MANLY CHARACTER, AND IT TASTES AMAZING!!
Sodaburger3 years ago
...your mustache is not all that you will scare...
stocky3 years ago
the only true way to shave is with a cut throat :P

also using a shaving brush will help to work the hairs up thus a closer shave.
Pictutli3 years ago
Catanheeeeero!!!

Nice mustache, dude!
biospot3 years ago
I liked it until you said you would travel through the interwebs and hit us with a rotary phone... then I laughed out loud. At work. All my co-workers looked at me strangly, but after looking at your face, I didn't mind their looks. None of them are as cool as your face.

jvan egmond3 years ago
Uhm.. dude? Try making an instructible instead of a fake army drill. Because this is taking to long; my mustaché already beats yours
cneufeldt3 years ago
Dude, I wish I could grow some facial hair but, alas, I cannot. 1 week later and I look like a 16 year old with peach fuzz. Would trying some Rogaine in the mustache area help?
Nameramthgin (author)  cneufeldt3 years ago
no, it won't. HOWEVER!, there is still hope... your problem may be that your face is not manly enough to handle the strain required to grow a proper moustache. Try getting up every morning and hitting yourself right in the face. Then, while you continue to hit your self scream at your under developed facial hair. try threatening it. Afterwards, to ensure your face is properly cleaned, mix 90% ethyl alcohol with fresh squeezed lemon juice and rub vigorously into your skin and moustache area. Be extra careful to get plenty in your eyes too, as this helps build manly character. Do this and you too will soon be beating large wildlife to death with your face.
OMG Funniest reply EVER!!
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