How to Grow and Maintain a Manly Moustache!

LISTEN UP!
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 Alright ladies it is time for you big bunch a sissy boys to start acting like real men! The best way on Gods' green earth for that monumental task is to grow a Moustache! THIS IS NOT FOR THE FEINT OF HEART! many of you girly men won't even survive till the end of this guide, so the people out there who are tired of their pitiful selves follow me! To the rest of you boy band rejects go drink some soy milk.

Step 1: Gather your Supplies!

Fist thing is first! We are going to need some supplies for this journey into manliness. This is a list of the basic essentials you will need for this mission. Individual tastes will change from girl to girl, but you turd biters can figure out the rest on your own. GO OUT AND BUY EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST! I don't care is you already have this stuff go buy more, your gonna need it!

       
1. SOAP
                -Plain and unscented is best.
2. SCISSORS
                -Mens grooming scissors, they will have a slight curve to the cutting part to make it easier to trim your leg hair.
 3. DISPOSABLE RAZOR
                - Do not use a straight razor, you too stupid not to hurt yourself.
4. MOUSTACHE WAX
                  - Needed to tame the monster we are creating. When buying was make sure it is moustache wax, there are a lot of products out there that look like they will work the same way, but they won't.
5. LITTLE COMB
                  - Often sold with the wax or in a kit with the scissors.
********** NOT SHOWN**********
6. A pack of light bulbs.
Now it is finally time to begin you belated journey into decency! MOVE OUT!

Comments

[JustPrism]

This whole thing was hilarious.

[SgtJellyfish]

team fortress 2 is awesome. why did they have to make it free though?

[sergiuung]

To get new players, and more potential mann co store buyers. It's working, trust me, they made loads of cash of newcomers.

[omnitron]

you sir are a champion among men. i myself have no moustache and am quite shamed to read this instructable without one however one day i aspire to grow one like Brian orosco (look him up). perhaps you can give instructions to promote healthy moustache growth. if so i would be greatly indebted and refer to you sen cay from then and every day on.

[Nameramthgin]

BRIAN OROSCO!? I do not need to increase my knowledge on that paragon of manly virtue!!!!! I know Full well who he is! A true competitor of ninja warrior! as for growing tips, there is a comment I left on here about lemon juice and rubbing alcohol, find it and follow it. ALSO CONTINUE WATCHING NINJA WARRIOR!!! MANLY HOBBIES PROMOTE MANLY FACIAL HAIR!. YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO TIGER PUNTING AND BEAR BLASTING TOO!!!! You should also start building small models and then destroying them while laughing maniacally. It will help prepare you for your inevitable attempt at world domination.

[omnitron]

thank you master i truely apreiate all you are doing for the jellyfish of this soon to fall world

[kretzlord]

Everything i read in this instructable has had the voice of R. Lee Ermey screaming in my head. Thank you for the wonderful instructable, i might have to grow my moustache out to match the beard...

[Justincorrigible]

Good on ya.

[book worm]

MINE WAS LONELY SO GREW A FRIENDLY BEARD TO GO WITH IT

[Nameramthgin]

FRIENDLY BEARDS ASSIST THE MOUSTACHE IN KEEPING ONES FACE WARM!!!!

[N4CRLucky]

Mustache wax is not enough for me! I had to go for MAXIMUM HOLD hair gel to get my necessary curl =D

[Nameramthgin]

SUITABLY APPROPRIATE!

[jmackenzie5]

Your mustache is thin and lacks girth...I challenge your mustache to a duel!

[Nameramthgin]

You know, i had thought up a really funny response and was gonna post it to continue the insanity of the conversation, but after bmumaw's comment I just don't think that I can.

[Nameramthgin]

COME PREPARED BOY!
My moustache has plenty of back up, and God help you if I have to pull out my back or chest hair.......

[bmumaw]

I want to have a mustache duel!?! Time to grow out the beard and lay the ground work for the disasterstach that shall pummel all weakling thin staches! jmackenzie5... I'm not talking to you as you already have a fully developed manstache! Nice work!

[Ziggythewiz]

Is mustache duel a euphemism for guys making out? Not that there's anyth

[jmackenzie5]

bahah, honestly I was more inclined to a mustache off as in growing a mustache and seeing which one is more manlier..either that or imagining two mustaches taking 10 paces and quick drawing pistols...You on the other hand may have some confusion about your sexual orientation my friend..no worries, I refer you to Mr. Freddie Mercury for all your mustache riding dreams.

[Nameramthgin]

HOW DARE YOU TAKE THE NAME OF FARROKH BULSARA IN VEIN!! YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO EVERYTHING MANLY ABOUT MOUSTACHES! YOU ARE NOT EVEN WORTHY TO SIT IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIS SPANDEX!

[Nameramthgin]

roflol.

[bmumaw]

Errrr. Idk. If it is I retract my previous statement

[Nameramthgin]

roflolshmsfoaidmt

[tfarner]

I've seen better mustaches on a post-menopausal woman!

[Nameramthgin]

YOU SHOULD PICK YOU COMPANY BETTER THEN!

[ScottyAlmanjoy]

^this

[Rbwood]

Superb!

[ntsagarides]

Isn't Lady Gaga manly enough?

[Nameramthgin]

OH GOD I HOPE NOT............

[emerson.john]

That stuff hanging into your mouth has got to be unsanitary.

[Nameramthgin]

ABSOLUTELY! BUT IT BUILDS MANLY CHARACTER, AND IT TASTES AMAZING!!

[Sodaburger]

...your mustache is not all that you will scare...

[stocky]

the only true way to shave is with a cut throat :P

also using a shaving brush will help to work the hairs up thus a closer shave.

[Pictutli]

Catanheeeeero!!!

Nice mustache, dude!

[biospot]

I liked it until you said you would travel through the interwebs and hit us with a rotary phone... then I laughed out loud. At work. All my co-workers looked at me strangly, but after looking at your face, I didn't mind their looks. None of them are as cool as your face.

[jvan egmond]

Uhm.. dude? Try making an instructible instead of a fake army drill. Because this is taking to long; my mustaché already beats yours

[szukowski]

Brilliant! Love it. I have a skimpy mustache that's not even worthy of carrying your mustache's comb. But you've given me hope for a bright future!

[Nameramthgin]

GIRD YOUR LOINS SMALL MAN! You must not give up hope! My moustache is only but a wee stashling, barely even seven months old. BUT LOOK AT HIM! HE IS SLOWLY BECOMING AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE! THE MOUSTACHIOD MEN MUST RISE UP AND JOIN TOGETHER! SOON THE WORLD SHALL COWER AT THE IMPEDING MOUSTACHE APOCALYPSE!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

[Avivz]

I just want to add a little bit of my experience growing a moustache from these past few years (mind you I come from a long line of bearded and moustachioed men).

1) Hold off trimming the hairs over your lip.
-These Hairs, will eventually grow to form a strong front for your moustache ideally reaching all the way to the very ends of the your curl. Regardless of how you look eating soup, or how much your partner complains about hair in their mouth it is a must that these should be trimmed as little as possible.

2) Clubman (http://www.clubmanonline.com/mstwaxblk.html) moustache wax totally sucks.
-I've recently started using a water-based pomade (http://cache0.bigcartel.com/product_images/18272651/175.jpg), though not a "moustache wax", this stuff has superior lasting strength, no added colour, and washes out with water.

3) The ladies say it tickles...

[Nameramthgin]

starts as a French tickler, ends as a flavor saver!

[jm_bilac]

This is the first instructable I have felt the need to comment on, because your efforts to make manly moustachiod men out of blubbering girly boys has really had a big effect on me. Great maniacal moustache making instructable mate! Here is a pic of mine from a last week, it doubled it's size just apon reading your instructable and following your sound advice... Yes I'm dressed as a pirate, but that's not the point... I'm the bald guy on the right... Love your stach and instructable advice cheers!