Introduction: How to Hunt Morels

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Morels are pretty weird looking.

Even for mushrooms. Pretty weird. People like them. I don't like them.

I hear they are worth money. Some of that gourmet money.

People hunt them. Hunt to kill? That sounds like an adventure. I'm all about adventures.

Watch out morels. I'm a coming for you.

Step 1: Gather Supplies

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Bags (2) - plastic or paper, morels don't care
$900 pickup (1) - try to get one that is old, misfires, and doesn't have power steering. Trust me, it's everything you've ever wanted in a pickup.

Bad dog (1)

City slicker girlfriend (1)

Step 2: Head to the Woods

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It's a treacherous path. It's best to take a pickup. Branches will be slamming up against it. Brush will be scratching it.

Step 3: Come to a Crossroads in the Woods

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Some things require spending some time down at the crossroads. Morels is one of those things.

Step 4: Determine Your Path

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Use your senses to determine a direction. I used my common sense. I use that one almost every day.

Step 5: Search & Destroy

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With a heart full of napalm, find your morels. Look for damp soil where dead trees lie.

Don't lose faith. I believe in you. Pick them from the base, right at the ground.

Step 6: Remember to Put on Bug Spray

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Minnesota mosquitoes are the worst. Seriously. The worst.

Step 7: Pout When You Can't Find Anymore Morels

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There comes a time when the morels will just not appear. I used all of my senses... but no more morels.
Time to pout, my friend. Pout away.

Step 8: Find That Bad Dog and Go Home

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Bad dogs disappear. Some bad dogs don't come back for a while. You best find that bad dog.

Step 9: Tend to Your Wounds and Check for Ticks

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Lick your mosquito wounds and rub down for ticks. Check everywhere. Nothing is worse than looking down when you are at the toilet and realizing that you have to pull a little blood sucker from there...

Step 10: Rejoice in Your Bounty

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Morels, baby. Morels.

Dry 'em, freeze 'em, or eat 'em.

Comments

rimar2000 (author)2014-06-12

"When I was a young boy, were going with my girlfriend to pick mushrooms in the forest. Sometimes her little brother joined us, then we had to devote to pick mushrooms".

bricobart (author)rimar20002014-06-19

Or to loose that brother accidently.

Wolfbane221 (author)2014-06-12

Morels are delicious. It's a yearly tradition for our family. You should add a step about false Morels (they are fairly rare where I live).

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