So you want to kill yourself? Is that why you're here? OK, well, I'm sorry you feel that way, I know it can all feel horribly, tremendously wrong. I've been there. I've stared at sharp objects behind fences and wondered what would happen if I were to jump on them and end it all. For about an hour or so at a time. Fun stuff!

Was I the only one who felt this way? The only one who would have such feelings? What can I say, I was a teenager and I thought I was unique. What I was was stuck in a depression that was eating me alive even as I found it to be so comfy in its absoluteness. Fortunately it was a phase that I was able to put behind myself with a conscious effort.

My friend Paul wasn't so lucky. He fought his depression several times over for a couple decades. After a long battle he chose to fight alone, he took his own life. He wasn't the easiest guy to know, but at his best he could make me laugh and think about all sorts of new ideas for hours on end. I still miss Paul even though it's been over 10 years since we last hung out. This Instructable is for him.

Important Note: If you or a friend are considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It is free and confidential and they know a LOT more about this stuff than I do.

This is published in support of World Suicide Prevention Day.

Passo 1: Don't Talk to Anyone

Certainly the thing that Paul was really good at was shutting people out when times got rough. It was an uncanny ability if you could try to classify it as some sort of a skill.

"So how are you feeling tonight?"
"..."
"Paul?"
"...yeah?"
"You been taking anything?"
"..."
"Goddammit, I'm coming over. Can you get up to to open the door when I get there?"
"I..."
"Good"

These were the bad times. The times when Paul would just shut down. Sometimes there was a slight gap you could try to coax into a minor opening, but other times it would clamp shut right in front of you. I'd swing by his apartment and he'd let me in, or maybe a roommate did, and then I'd talk next to him for an hour or so. The responses were grunts or the occasional word. One time after a session of looking through his DVDs and pretending to talk about movies he said, "I'm not going to get up for a while."
"A while? An hour or so?"
"Long enough"

And I'd try telling jokes or talking about things I liked or even bouncing popcorn off his forehead one time, but nothing worked. When Paul got better he would refuse to talk about his mute sessions. He said he could handle it. He said he his own way. I let it go even though I doubted his way was working all that well. He was surrounded by piles of stuff everywhere I could see.
Anyone know how to cope with stuttering? I'm 14 and have been dealing with this disability for most of my life, and I really don't think I can handle it any more. It's just so damn frustrating, it feels like tripping over the same thing over and over again with no way to ever help it. I really don't think non-stutterers will ever understand how hard it is to not be able to say exactly what you want to say, when you want to say it. It's just a natural thing to you. This problem, obviously, destroys my social life and makes me awkward and anti social. On the other hand, my grades are doing really well (106 GPA) and I'm involved in the swim team and band. But my impediment is just slowly eating away at me. My mom really isn't much of a help (my dad is non-existent) and the situation is way too awkward for my friends. If it all just went away I would be in heaven. I would be able to effortlessly order my food. Or be able to clearly communicate with friends, teachers, and strangers. Hell, I would probably be able to get a girlfriend. But then I realize that these things will never happen. Then I imagine what will happen in the (very near) future. I won't be able to get my dream job. Getting a partner will be nearly impossible. It all just seems hopeless now. Any advice? (Sorry for the disorganized paragraph)
There's even facebook groups you can join. My daughter is 16 and stutters, too. You are not alone and it can get better once you learn some skills to help your speech.
I highly recommend a speech therapist. If you are under 18 years old, you should be able to get one through your school for free. Speech therapy can really help alot. There's also online groups and websites you should check out. <br>www.asha.org<br>www.stutteringhelp.org<br>www.friendswhostutter.org
<p>kill yourself!! that is my advice.</p>
I used to stutter, but I went to some speech classes and almost &quot;fixed&quot; it. I get that friends aren't exactly helpful, but it helps to find someone else who stutters/stuttered and work through it with them... it's what I did and now I don't have as bad a stutter :)
Hi...my name doesn't really matter...no one calls me by it anyways. But I would love to help and talk to u. Or anyone here...if u have a kik or # u wouldn't mind sharing with me I would love to talk to u..I can definitely understand what ur trying to say
<p>boo *sob* *sob*</p>
<p>My mom already killed herself, now I will !!</p><p>P.S she at da bottom :-(</p>
<p>BULLSH*T confidential</p>
<p>i killed myself</p>
<p>me too</p>
<p>It's not confidential. They call your parents and the cops. It's not worth calling them. They're condescending and just tell you how &quot;great&quot; life is and how it will get better.</p>
<p>GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU SO DON'T THINK ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF. i'm sure you want to but all this depression stuff will go away in a few years and you will have a happier and better life. Just think of all the people who love and care for you, i'm 100% sure they don't want you to die now. If you need help you can always talk to friends,family,counselors or even me. Read this bible verse: </p><p>Genesis 9:5 - 9:6 5.<a href="http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Genesis-9-5/" rel="nofollow">And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.</a>6.<a href="http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Genesis-9-6/" rel="nofollow">Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.</a> Here is one more (it's shorter this time) Exodus 20:13:&quot;You shall not murder. I'm sure my message isn't as good as the other paragraphs people wrote but i think this will stop you from killing yourself i bet. Don't kill yourself just think of what is ahead of you not what is behind you leave that depression (luggage) behind you and lets start a new life, make it filled with joy and happiness. Here are a few bible verses to get you in teh spirt Jeremiah 29:11: &ldquo;For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.&rdquo; Revelation 21:4: &ldquo;And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.&rdquo; THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS WHOLE LONG PARAGRAPH : ) </p>
<p>fuck long paragraphs bitch !!!!</p>
<p>lies</p>
<p>all lies !!!</p>
<p>This world is beautiful, and the life is nice, and we are lucky that we are living. there is always something to appreciate in life. and the best way to build self steam is by overcoming challenges which biggest of all is life challenge. We all have bad and good times, but we need to harden our-self and get the experience to turn a bitter leaves into a sweet tea. just open your eyes, if you feel bored travel, get to a new place or a country, marvel around and build your life. it's only when you know the world enough that you ll appreciate. go to Africa, Polynesia, Sahara desert (there oasis in every desert), India, china and look the amazing land of Maldives. you may be feeling down today, but things ll change, just believe yourself and try to turn the problems into opportunities, we are all amazing, some-people act indifferently and that what diminished others esteem, but we should blame their indifference and try to better our lives. not to be stressed of begin ignored and kill yourself. talk to the aged and octogenarians to get experience on how to appreciate our limited times. </p>
<p>How can you see into my eyes like open doors?</p><p>Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb<br>Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold<br>Until you find it there and lead it back home<br><br>(Wake me up)<br>Wake me up inside<br>(I can't wake up)<br>Wake me up inside<br>(Save me)<br>Call my name and save me from the dark<br>(Wake me up)<br>Bid my blood to run<br>(I can't wake up)<br>Before I come undone<br>(Save me)<br>Save me from the nothing I've become<br><br>Now that I know what I'm without<br>You can't just leave me<br>Breathe into me and make me real<br>Bring me to life<br><br>(Wake me up)<br>Wake me up inside<br>(I can't wake up)<br>Wake me up inside<br>(Save me)<br>Call my name and save me from the dark<br>(Wake me up)<br>Bid my blood to run<br>(I can't wake up)<br>Before I come undone<br>(Save me)<br>Save me from the nothing I've become<br><br>Bring me to life<br>(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)<br>Bring me to life<br><br>Frozen inside without your touch<br>Without your love, darling<br>Only you are the life among the dead<br><br>All this time I can't believe I couldn't see<br>Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me<br>I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems<br>Got to open my eyes to everything<br>Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul<br>Don't let me die here<br>There must be something more<br>Bring me to life<br><br>(Wake me up)<br>Wake me up inside<br>(I can't wake up)<br>Wake me up inside<br>(Save me)<br>Call my name and save me from the dark<br>(Wake me up)<br>Bid my blood to run<br>(I can't wake up)<br>Before I come undone<br>(Save me)<br>Save me from the nothing I've become<br><br>Bring me to life<br>(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)<br>Bring me to life</p>
<p>I love that song evansence is amazing</p>
I just want to die
<p>nice name !</p>
<p>(P.S. you should !!!!)</p>
If anyone wants to talk..my phone number is 609-701-1886 please dont call....just text... thanks
I want to kill myself sometimes, but I also love life, and sometimes I'm afraid of death. Bottling emotions up is just too much fun I guess
<p>do what u got to do</p>
I moved and my best friend from where i use to live turned on me so did everyone else from where i live now i have been dealing with it for 2 years and now im done im killing myself tonight 4/19/15
<p>I'm 20 years old want to kill myself.</p><p>I was born in a third world country in asia. I try my entire life to get out of it and make a better life. But an fucking accident, right before my final exam, had took not only my future I've been working on, but my leg. I can't say anything more about it. My dream of living somewhere else is gone.</p><p>Since the age of 16, I have had no friends. Not because I didn't try to make one. But because I just want to isolate myself from them. Living in a third world country, almost everyone are aggressive, uncultured and rude. I can't share my feelings, my thoughts and hobbies with the bunch of people who spend their entire life going to club, banging dozens of chicks and fighting on the street. I has always depressed since then. No one likes me because of that too. I'm a freak, a weirdo of that society.</p><p>My life is just a chain of failing events. I tried to get out of the country before. I failed. I'd tried to be in a relationship once. The girl turn out to be addicted to heroin. I failed. I tried to be helping, nice with other people once ( I tried to remove my prejudices ). But again, I got bullied, because I didn't have a tattoo, because I wasn't gangster, rude and aggressive enough. I failed. I tried to be financial independent once, but I can't work for the people who pay bribes to escape a crime and spend millions dollar to have sex with children and eat endangered species for dinner. I failed to maintain a job.</p><p>Since the accident, I've fallen into total depression. I lost 14kg within 2 months, addicted to alcohol and weed ( Oh yes, I am the one who scorn addiction and now I depend on it ). My parents hate me because I'm the only child and I'm ruining the image of the family, which I give no fuck about. They forbidden me to do anything by my own will again ( haha, I can't run from them, can I )The people who I call &quot;family&quot; don't even care about my situation and the broken leg. <br>Now I have no friends, no future, no freedom, no family, and not even a pair of leg to play sport, walk by my own. I don't want to be famous, I don't want to revenge or anything. I just simply want to exit this life. No one cares anyway.</p>
My name is lily and I'm 14 years old. I am very depressed and want the easy way out by killing myself. My family is going thru very hard times right now and I am just so damn ugly it's not fair. My face my body my eyes my boobs are small my everything :&quot;(. I'm also very quiet and don't talk at school at all I sit alone at a table. Ive had 1 friend my whole life so for:( I cry every night for years now. I wish I was beautiful like other girls. I'm thinking about jumping of a bridge
<p>IM UGLY I WISH GOD WILL JUST KILL ME</p>
I feel you:&quot;&quot;(
<p>no - I don't want to kill myself - but society is telling me I am useless - so what else am I suppose to do. I'm homeless, I don't have a job, catholic charities is putting me up for a while - but I have to get a job. my credit rating is at 300 so no one will hire me cause I'm a security risk. so if I can't get a job and have no money, no family, no friends, no car - what am I suppose to do?</p>
<p>die.</p>
<p>i wanted killed myself.....because of my life really fuck up. no one help me and i just crazy. i did cut of my arms. why because girls always like my fiancce and i was like...............wtf but that so bullshit and i was eating and take a nap and made me better :/</p>
<p>Im 15 and i have gotten pushed, shoved and kicked by people at my school. I never had done anything to them. I had a boyfriend but he broke up with me because he said it was to much for him to handle. So i told him to go fuck his self because i get bullied and he says its to much for him to handle.Whenever people push me the teachers just watch and stare. Fuck them.</p>
I am 14 . I have always wanted to die ever since I was 11 . I always thought it was just a fase but now it had gotten serious. I want to die something terrible. I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't ever told my mom I wanted to die because I'm scared of what she would say.
I don't know but you need to tell your mom or some one else and let them help you i been there I have want to die and some time I still have moments of depression but talking does help this is something you can not deal with on your own. I don't know you but I don't want to see you die
<p>you should tell her. Like maybe don't say you want to die but you could say mum I think I have depression. She will always love you no matter what happens. Just don't let it get you down.</p><p>P.s. I spell mum this way cause I live in australia </p>
<p>fuck Australia !!!</p>
<p>life might be hard, I struggle everyday, but I promise you that life will get better?, I bet you are a truly amazing person and I bet you pretty, and I love you</p>
<p>I'm 15 years old and I have wanted to kill myself since the school year started. I had to double a year and I've lost all my closest friends from last year. Which normally I could handle, but the thing is that last year was the first year after two years that I had friends again, because I was bullied those previous years and I switched schools. Also my mom hates me for some reason and somehow finds a way to make me cry every single day.</p><p> I have held sharp objects in front of me and wondered what would happen if I just ended it all. Or there have been times were I stood on a tall bridge and almost do it, but then I think about how many people I would hurt if I killed myself.</p><p>I really want to get help and I know that I need it, that i really, really need it, but as I said, I'm fifteen and somehow in our messed up society it has become 'a hype' to be depressed and I don't want people to think that I'm just seeking attention. I know I'm only fifteen and this is just another teen depression story and it might seem minor. To me however it is a huge deal and I don't know where to turn to.</p><p>Still every day killing myself is all I can think about. &quot;If I just do it all the pain I've ever felt will disappear forever&quot;</p>
<p>Try to understand that if your mother hates you, she is damaged. That doesn't make you defective. Some times bad things happen in people's lives and they can't be different. Nobody would choose to be damaged. It isn't because you are bad. She is broken. Go find an adult you can trust and tell them how you feel. Family isn't about blood. It's about who loves you.</p>
<p>It's a dark subject, but the humour in this post cheered me up a little. It's reassuring to know that someone out there cares enough to send a message to support people who might be feeling this way. The personal story was heartfelt and earnest. Reaching out on social media can be quite effective, as you can connect with lot of people, while still seeming like you are addressing one person - making them feel special and cared for :) The practical, step by step way he told the story and provided some suggestions was very comforting. Thanks Fungus Amungus :P</p>
<p>When I was 11 years old, I lost somebody who was very close to me. My grandmother was the only person who I felt cared about me more than parents. I guess the reason was that my grandmother gave me her time. I do understand my mothers situation, she worked full-time and went to school full-time. My father left us both for some dumbass reason. He didn't want us and didn't care at all.</p><p>I'm 24 now and I have always wanted to kill myself, and it's not because life is unfair or anything like that. In fact it's the opposite, life is well. I mean sure, yeah I'm unemployed, since I was a temp. I go to school full-time, however my family always complains about me one or another.</p><p>When I was 20 I got my job at Vons(Safeway) I worked part-time. And my mom rode my ass because she said I'm not doing with my life, etc. And then I get a full-time job internship, she then stop. However since I got unemployed she threatens me to kick me out, etc. I feel that my mother just wants me out of her life. </p><p>I wouldn't be surprised at all. The only thing that is keeping me from killing myself is my guardian angel which I believe is my grandmother who was always there for me. I miss her dearly, she died from lung cancer.</p><p>When I was born, that's when my grandmother immediately stop smoking, she wanted to be here with me. But my family always tells me they care about me, but their actions say, &quot;Just stay out of our lives, you are nothing but a leech&quot;. There are sometimes I do feel that way.</p><p>I been in the mental hospital before, they did really bad job. I still feel suidcial even after the program, I just lied all the time their. I tried to be open, but I couldn't since it was a group thearpy type. I do not like people, ever since I became hearing impaired. </p><p>I truly believe that I will be lifting a burden to my family if I didn't exist. People tell me that I'm weak, but I been fighting for so long, that I'm tired. And I think it's time to go home.</p>
<p>Maybe it's time to talk to your mom? If you can't, please go to 7cupsoftea. There are people there who would be willing to listen, one one one, and it's anonymous so you might feel better that way. Whenever I feel like losing it, I head to that site and talk to someone. I don't really know what to say because you're a little older than I am and I've been through the same feeling--that feeling that everybody would be better off without you and all that. Only difference between the two of us is that I never had the chance to feel like someone actually cared. You had your grandmother, even for just a few years, so cherish and remember those moments when she was still alive. Remember that she would have wanted you to have a good life, whether it was with you blood family or a family you've created on your own.</p>
<p>Hi i go through a lot of depression where it gets to the point where i wanted to kill myself ive never felt this way before i get so depressed i feel like hanging myself but i dont want to hurt the peopl that luv me i dont know what to do</p>
<p>hi, I also feel depressed...but don't kill yourself ok...those same loved ones ..go to them for comfort and they will help you </p>
i'm 16 years old and i was diagnosed with depression about a year or two ago and its the worst thing thats occured to me. i want to die, i want to just stop this pain and hurting. death is all i want but i just cant seem to find the courage within me to pick up a knife and slit my throat, or stand in the middle of the motorway and let the humans do what their good at doing. i hate everyone and everything and life just seems to be getting harder harder. i just want it all to be over. i dont want to breathe another second longer cos i cant even seem to be doing that right.
<p>I second what Daniel said. There is help. People talk about depression like it's all in your head but that is crazy. The brain is real. Everything else gets jacked up, why wouldn't the brain? Meds can really help. It doesn't mean your weak any more than having diabetes means your weak. Call the suicide hotline, go to the ER - you are worth it.</p>

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Bio: I like to make things for the internets. I also sell a pretty cool calendar at supamoto.co. You'll like it.
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