How to Kiss

Step 1 Pre Kiss

The lead up to the kiss can actually be the most difficult part of kissing. Figuring out whether your partner is ready to kiss you or not can be a challenge of its own.

If you see one or a combination of these indicators, there is a good chance that your partner is thinking about kissing you.

• eyes become soft and heavy
• eye contact is made and sustained
• head turns slightly
• lips are licked or bitten
• your partner makes physical contact with you beyond what seems appropriate for normal conversation (e.g. he or she brushes your hand, touches you on the shoulder or leg, or fidgets with an accessory)
• easy conversation comes to a stop, but eye contact is not broken
• your partner smiles in conjunction with any of the above behaviors

To give your partner the cue that you wish to kiss him or her, you can try one or a combination of these things.

• soften your gaze by relaxing the muscles around your eyes, somewhat like smiling but without engaging your mouth
• smile often, though
• make eye contact and allow it to linger for a few moments longer than you normally would
• find ways to subtly (but respectfully) touch your partner

If you think you are picking up some of these signs, but are still unsure if the person wants to be kissed then there is nothing wrong with just simply asking your partner if a kiss would be all right. Granted it breaks the mood a bit, and sensing the magic is always nicer than asking if it's there, but better to be sure your partner is on board for the kiss otherwise you might be heading for an embarrassing situation.

If you've assessed the situation, and it seems probable that a kiss is imminent, the next things to think about are timing and approach. The key to nailing the pre kiss is matching your partner's speed and intensity. The kiss is the first opportunity to physically connect with your partner, and so you want to meet him or her halfway.

Here are some steps you could follow as you go in for the kiss. Keep in mind that the kiss you share with someone is as unique as your relationship with that person, so follow your instincts and use the following as a rough guideline.

1. Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner's body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you, you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from "high risk" zones on your partners body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.

2. Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., "I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you."

3. As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner's positioning. One partner will have to make room for the other, or both partners can just slightly tilt heads in opposite directions. Basically you are just trying to avoid a nose collision as you get closer, so just pick a side to turn to and don't give it too much thought.

4. Gauge how quickly your partner is leaning in and try to meet at the halfway point between you, so neither person is overextended. Over/under extension can make one person feel like they are not getting met and are either too aggressive, or not engaged enough.

If you have come this far with your partner chances are you are going to kiss, or you have misread the entire situation and they are just leaning in to look at something stuck in your teeth.
If the first is true, then read on because it's time to pucker up and get on with THE KISS.

Comments

[Alzeido]

I'm 17, never had a girlfriend and never had my first kiss (if you think i'm sad, i honestly dont care) I've spent countless hours, days even a month or two, researching and looking up kissing+ beyond and since i've never talked about it i figured who not here, i've wanted to kiss someone for a long time now, and everywhere i look everything says practice on your arm/mirror/back of hand etc. and to me hnest, i have too much self respect for that. it may seem like i've made up my mind about this but i really couldn't be more lost on the subject. for those of you who still dont understand me, (i'm English get a dictionary.) i want to know how to kiss well, and not mess up first time. i plan in giving all my firsts, to one girl and one girl only. in short, i want to fine "The One" and have her as my first, my last and my everything. and to be honest, i think i'm close, hence why i'm researching this again. Any tips? 1 liners? 4 page essays?

[WhyHello]

*kiss*?

[jane91]

First of all I think you're putting a lot of focus on kissing technique. Don't get me wrong, knowing how to kiss is important, but you should concentrate on being the type of person she wants to kiss. If she likes you and wants to kiss you, then even if the first kiss is not perfect, she'll be willing to practice until it gets better. I would guess that the first kiss with anyone is never perfect and it goes from good to better as you get more comfortable with each other. Another good source of info is
http://www.kissing.bz
which has more tips on kissing at how to kiss.

[anibioman]

my first real kiss was with someone who had kissed before its a bad idea for your first kiss to be your everything most girls you age have gone alot farther then kissing. the way i did my first kiss was i hugged her (she was upset about something) put my head on the side of hers i put my head up i looked into her eyes tilted my head and kissed her it worked perfectly... she grabbed my tie and pulled me in for another kiss. hopefully that helps but its not so much the technique, its about your timing for your first kiss. dont over think it keep it simple.

[Alzeido]

believe it or not man your comment was exactally what i was looking for. thanks for the advice.

[anibioman]

youre welcome. if you need anymore help on this subject, just ask.

[Alzeido]

heh, i can never get too much help on any subject. anything you can say i'll appreciate.

[DUZTINANDHANGOEZZRAWR]

to be honest just go with what you think will be the best there is no perfect way to kiss i mean your first one could just be fast but there is no teling what will hapen what i mean is just go with it and your mind will lead the way trust me...

[xw239]

Dude i think that's wierd that i have the exact same situation with my gf. my first kiss w/her was soooo freaking awkward :( but i hope this ible will help!

[Saturn V]

Shut up and wing it! Scripts are no fun because you want to stick to them. Make like MacGyver and Improvise!

[Alzeido]

but that way i wont be able to make her feel good, and that's what i want to do.

[Sponzyparadox]

You guys are really over thinking all of this. To be honest you are going to botch it the first time most likely anyway, but that is what makes it special. Just, relax trust your instincts, and enjoy the moment. It only happens once :-)

[ChantaLL]

oww (: i like your lines boy.. dont worry im 18 and i never ever had a boyfriend,, i could have to but i didnt like them :/ Also want the first with a person who i heart. i dont want to make faster. u know, everything has perfect time.. furthermore i live in country which is not my hometown.. its not important to be the boy from the same culture.. rather have to be honest, unselfish and clever.. okey.. ill write later ( :

[Alzeido]

wow, really? i never thought there'd be girls out there that are older than... well, 12 and havn't has a boyfirend/kisses/lost their virginity. i'm in england so yeah.. im a crime against nature here i guess haha. whats even more suprising is you have roughly the same idea about this as i do lol, i think.

[chica305]

I really admire your high standards! (I'm not joking) and yes, there are girls out here who are not little sluts and have integrity. I understand you problem because i recently moved to the UK and tons of my friends are literally asking me how many guys I've slept with, no kidding. Don't worry about your first kiss cuz if you are really into that person, it will come naturally! Practicing is overrated; you're not trying out for a movie. And whatever you do, don't settle for anything less then what your heart tells you & don't base your relationship on physical attraction. It's better if they have the same interests as you i.e. traveling, volunteering, arts, music...whatever! Cheers and good luck!

[Alzeido]

why can't more prople be as agreeing and normal as you instead of "oh look boobs/penis Lets have sex!" people with self respect are awesome!

[StephMissP]

I agree completely! It really annoys me how teenagers just throw away their virginity like it doesnt mean anything and at rediculous ages! Most of the time they dont an inch of self respect and they give the rest of us decent teenagers a bad name.

[Alzeido]

Good to see at least 3 out of the thousands of people on this site think the same.
can i get your msn? anyone who thinks this say i have to add ^^

[cubanmm]

Ok, im 13, I have been close to having my first kiss with many girls but I told myself I wanted to save it for the one girl I love, she talks to me every once in a while and we text alot, but I dont see a sign of a real relationship between me and her. She has been my friend since 1st grade and she doesn't want to ruin our friendship, what should I do?

[icanhelp2]

ok i have had a boyfriend and we have known eachother for a while and we were friends at first but our relatonship grew over the years. i think you just need to wait a little longer and get to know eachother a little more and see where it takes you good luck and i hope you 2 will get together and if not dont let this ruin your friendship.

[jessevans]

hey look i know u are hearing alot of this "your young" speach. But look at it, its the truth. Everything will fall into place. Im 18 right now and i have only had 2 boyfriends my whole life. I had my first one when i was 16. I didnt have my first kiss untill then either. Its ok. No big deal. And as for you liking your best friend. If you have feelings for her, just tell her. Take her for a walk or something, or write her a letter ( not a whole lot of things that i can think of that you can do at 13, im just a few years older than that and have the memory span of a gold fish =]) and seriouly tell her your feelings. You wont be considered a wimp, or anything like that, girls in general like it when you tell them how you feel, we generaly feel as though we can tell you anything and everything and guys will understand. Just try that and if she makes fun of you then she's not really a good friend because good friends wont do that. And if she dose not feel the same about you, then just take a step back to regain your pride and move on, maybe you were ment to just be friends, and there are bigger and better things out there for you.

[italiankid77]

 if u are 13 and haven't kissed anyone yet then that is kind of sad. I am 11 and have kissed many times, but with your friend you should not date her because you cant date anyone in the friends zone. If you date them then it gets awkward all the time and when you break up then you guys don't stay as friends any more and then you ignore each other or look at each other then go away without saying a word. My advice is to find someone else because you have your whole life ahead of you to find the right girl and you will date many girls during that time. Don't go out with her and just hang out unless both of you feel the same way then give it a try.

[SophieeeMxx]

thats not actually true me and myy friend went out now we r best mates and it's just like it was before we went out and i'm just like you when i was 11 i had been out with loads of ppl and kissed quite a lot too but that doesn't mean every1 has to they have their own time, it will come and when it does it'll be worth it :)

[valeriiiebaby]

Um, Heeey 

[bernaaaa]

hiii

[chickachickayeaaaahhh]

ok really, i dont get how its so sad if you havent kissed anyone by the age of 13. oooh your 11 and you've kissed! BIG DEAL! doesnt make you cool! and you shouldnt be too proud either. now days 13 year olds are getting pregnant so i think its better to save your first kiss until your older and know what your doing. (without this stupid guideline thing) so italiankid77 i think your being a little harsh here and cubanmm i think its nice that you want to save it for the girl you love. MY OPINION!

[Dr. Steel]

Dude, it is not sad if he has not had his first kiss yet if he is only 13, it just means you happen to be very kissable in the eyes of many girls, therefore you have kissed many girls at the age of 11. It's not bad to not have had your first kiss even if you are 23, everyone is different, learn that. I'm 14 and I haven't had my first kiss yet, but I will soon.

[cubanmm]

Notice I said I "could" have kissed many girls, but I decided not to.

[iLIKEhim]

im 12 and i just brokee up withh my boyfriend causee he was tryinn to cheat on me. my friend told me he was tryinn to get with otherr girls causee he thought i wass too goodiee goodiee to everr kiss him. i neverr had my first kiss beforee and i still reallyy likee my exx. and if i get backk with himm and hes gonna be expecting a kiss. what do i do?!

[OneeLovee15]

ohh ndd by the wayy i alreadyy hadd my first kiss ndd it was pretty good but onlyy cuz i was sure i wantedd my first kiss alreadyy

[OneeLovee15]

Dont let yourself be pressuredd by some guy yu like because thenn your first kiss wont be as special

[Elly12]

first, when you're alone, and you see him someplace, walk up and tap him on the shoulder. When he turns around, grab him on the shirt near his shoulders, pull him forward into a deep passionate kiss, and while slowly take a hand and slide it on his body towards his neck at the bottom of his head and lightly tug on his hair. then take the other hand and slide it down to right on his tail bone and just hold him there while kissing him.  It'll be good for both of ya'll andhe'll return the favor by doing sorta the same thing.

[Tyler+SkilarForever]

     If You See Him Walking in The Hall With Like One Book Like Held with One Hand, Stop Him And Say "Look I Know You thought That I Was Too Good To Kiss You And All, But Im Not. It doesnt Matter Because I Love You And Nothing Will ever change That" And Then Kiss Him. And dont Worry About The Consequinces because If You donnt Kiss Him Than No Matter what You'll Not Get Him Back And After You do This Say "And If Your just Here to Use Me Than, You Can Go Use Those Other Whores..." Then Start To Walk off ANd If He Wanted You Back or Loved You He would Say Something Back. You Dont Have To Listen To Me Im Only Thirteen and also havnt Had My First Kiss yet And Have Only Had Two Gfs So only Listen  Two Me If No one else Sais Anything. Also I Love Cookies! xD

[koolgirl25]

its okay my sistrer brother is 18 he never had sex yet its okay do it when your readdy not when your boy friend is

[lauren11396]

just kiss him i promise its not that hard it seems scary but just go 4 it it is fun

[ashish_gupta]

May 9, 2009. 7:57 PMiLIKEhim i want advise you to not to with him ever in your life ..have your self respect..that is most important in any body's life..
byee

[yenesew alene]

i am 22 years old & now working as an instructor in university of gondar,ethiopia.i would like to express my gladness about you b/c you are so much patince,hopeful as well as psychologically matured enough to resist any challenge than ever this problem. so please persuade him b/c this is not your only problem rather this is the challenge of almost all beginners.
     touch in contact by email please.see you later .i miss you forever.
    yours
       yenesew alene from university of gondar,ethiopia p.o box 196
      mob: [phone]
   

[lolbananas]

I am 11 years old and i have a gf and already had my first kiss.after that we never talk much.what should i do?

[Mr.Sexy]

If you think just kissing is awkward, just wait till u start to make out ;) haha itll all work out if shes realy into you, but if she just ignores u try to see it from her point of veiw

[koolgirl25]

see what happend was mabey she saw that their ws nio spark when you guys kissed soo there for there are other gorguese girls out therre who would wantyou

p.s
practice kisssing for now