Step 2: Practice the Kiss
Once you're leaning in, things start to happen quickly. If you are nervous about the actual kiss, why not practice beforehand to hone your technique? An arm or mirror could serve as useful tools to self monitor the feel and look of your kissing style.
Rest assured, THE KISS is coming, but here it is broken down first, step by step so that you know whats going on when you see it at full speed with a partner in the next step.
Here is a head on view of a kiss. I am just practicing here, so it might look a little funny, but once your partner is sitting across from you and your lips meet theirs, it's H, O, T hot.
1. You are in the pre kiss state described in step 1 - your head is tilted, there is lip activity, your eyes are in a soft deep gaze and maybe there is some light physical contact.
You could open or close your eyes, though if you're nervous, closed could help avoid the deer in headlights look of fear. I like to start with mine open and close them just before lip contact.
2. Either you or your partner has shown that they would like to kiss. Start putting the pieces from step 1 together. Lean in and meet your partner halfway. Begin to pucker the lips by bringing them together, pushing them out, and applying just a faint hint of suction on your closed mouth to bring the cheeks slightly in.
Now is a good time to lick your lips if they aren't already moist.
Keep leaning in, remembering to tilt your head until you make contact with your partner's lips.
Remember not to forget about hand placement! A gentle touch to the back of the neck, the shoulders or your partners head is all you need. This can also help in guiding someone into the kiss if they are lost or are having trouble meeting you.
3. Your lips come to a full pucker position. They are soft, but not floppy. They can be fully formed and firm, but certainly not hard. This is an ambiguous state for any solid to be in - but these are your lips were talking about here - they can handle it!
Make contact with your partners lips.
If this is your first kiss, you don't want to linger too long, but you also don't want to just peck them and retreat.
Count "one-one thousand, two-one thousand" in your head before relaxing the pucker in your lips and beginning to pull your head away. You can hold the kiss like this for longer, but after 5 seconds or so should start think about ending this kiss. If you would like to keep kissing after that you can always lean in again and follow up the first kiss with a second, third or fourth kiss.
Remember to breathe through the kiss. It's all right to hold your breath for a short kiss, but for longer ones you are going to have to breathe while you are kissing. Since your mouth is occupied, you are going to have to use your nose. Just breathe normally and continue on with the kiss.
To end the kiss begin to lighten the pressure your lips are applying to your partners' and relax your puckered lips. As your lips relax they will separate and a small amount of air will be sucked into your mouth. This will create the kissing noise, or "smack" that is identified with a kiss.
At this point contact with your partner's lips has ended and its time to start thinking about giving them a little space and time to reflect about what just happened.
4. Move your head back slowly and begin to relax the muscles around your mouth. You can keep your eyes closed for a bit as you revel in the kiss and slowly return to your normal un-extended position.
5. You are now in the post kiss phase and if it was a good kiss, words won't do the feeling justice. If you and your partner liked what just happened you can follow up with more, or just enjoy what the two of you shared. If it was a bad kiss, you can try to make changes and give the kiss another go. If things can't be salvaged at that particular moment, don't force it - take a break and talk about it with your partner and try again after a few minutes or another day.