How to Leave School Early

We have all wanted to leave school early, but we didn't know how, other than getting suspended. That's all about to change! I'm going to give you a few ways to escape that dungeon in which we are tortured for 8 hours!!!








BREAKING NEWS!!!! The explosion seen below was caused by a 5 year old boy who poured gasoline on a truck and lit it. The boy has been taken in to custody.

Step 1 Bloody Nose

This trick won't really get you to leave school but it's definetely going to get you out of class. By reading the title you might think I'm going to tell you to punch yourself. WRONG. I have a better idea. Get a packet of ketchup and when your teachers not looking open it and squirt the ketchup on your nose. I suggest a few packets for more (blood). It will get you into the nurses office and when go into the bathroom squirt more and come out.

Comments

[willwest]

what i do is i just eat something with a lot of colors and put my finger into my throat and puke it up

[mason0190]

The best way: Fake your own death and never have to go to school again, and start a new life in Iceland as a macaroni farmer!

[hobbitboy]

if you say your stomach hurts you go to the nurse when they take your temp you use the termometer to poke your uvula and grab your stomach and fake gag pull it out and run to the tolite and barf WAMO you go home

[King Julien]

Ketchup is not realistic enough. Make a fist in front of you and tilt your had to the side about 3 or 4 inches. Lightly smack it towards your nose repeatedly. This should cause a nose bleed on that side.

[lockpick]

Please explain that more.

[King Julien]

Drink milk, eat a hotdog, and drink orange juice before school. Barfing combo. :)

[Mplinnc]

Dosent sond good.

[Mplinnc]

Yeah tummy ache is diffrrent from Puke.

[Fascion]

The only suggestion I see here that might actually work is the stomach ache; however, I would expect most people will over-act and ruin the whole thing.

Ketchup in the nose, fake puke and doctors note in the middle of class are only likely to make you spend more time in school after you rack up some detention hours and none will actually get you out of school unless you plan to make a break out of the front doors and risk truancy.

Pull the Fire Alarm and you risk not only disciplinary action from the school, but likely from law enforcement as well.

Your best bet is just to grin and bear it. Once you are at school, leaving can only get you into trouble. If you don't want to go to school... don't go to school.

When I was young, I had limited success exploiting my bad eyesight. On one occasion I hid my glasses in a stereo speaker and claimed to be unable to find them. To insure I would not get into trouble, I insisted I would be fine and actually left for the bus before my mom called me back to the house.

[LkArio]

The only way not to go to school by your own choice, at least these days, if you can't convince your parents to home/unschool you, would be to run to the forest :)
Even not going to school is now illegal (AKA truancy).

[Heywasup]

i no that i said i dont reccomend the fire alrm i no its the stupidest way to get out of school

[Thundertydus]

No, the stupidest way would be to stab yourself in the lung

[Weissensteinburg]

"To insure I would not get into trouble, I insisted I would be fine and actually left for the bus before my mom called me back to the house." Those little details are what do it.

[mrbob1000]

its ACTING! that is how you do it... perfect preformances like that. i applaud your childhood antics.

[Thundertydus]

Soooooo; No shakespear?

[Heywasup]

thnx

[history323]

why would you want to get out of school its fun! ok well Id rather be doing something else but still,its fun!!!

[LkArio]

Though some people like school, many hate it. Some people, like me, hate being controlled by the bell, the rules, we hate being treated as animals by the teachers and staff, though we may not necessarily hate learning. For some, it may be fun, but for others, it may be horribly boring, stressing, and irritating.

[jon123321]

(removed by author or community request)

[Heywasup]

awsome ideas

[Thundertydus]

What'd he say? It got removed

[slow-dial-up-user]

at my school if u pull the fire alarm it sprays some chemicals on ur hand that can be seen with a ultra violet lite, so if dere no fire u get caught. p.s.- someone at my school made a hitlist at my school, the person who made it was tracked down through their email by the FBI, so dont try that one. our pep rally was cancelled because of it :-(

[sharlston]

you could mix washing powder and water then put it on someones hands then wear gloves to set the firealarm off and the liquid you put on someone will show up under uv light

[Thundertydus]

Or block the whole that sprays the ink with a peice of cardboard or something.

[shai739]

don't do it with your hand use a stick or something

[awang8]

If you pull a fire alarm or set off a security alarm without telling the education department and there's no threats then you get fined $2500.

[awang8]

PS: Don't ask me how I know that.

[Thundertydus]

How do you know that?

[jimbo333]

lol every semester during finalsat my school, the fire alarms get pulled by kids trying to postpone there finals!

[ve2vfd]

Also, most school have a mandatory attendance roll call after a fire alarm, so if you ditch after pulling an alarm, you are 100% sure that they'll call home to find out where you are and why you disappeared after the alarm was pulled. That will make you the prime suspect to the police or fire dept, which can cost your parents a LOT of $$$ in fines and will net you a heafty suspention and looooots of detention :)

[Capt. Kidd]

say that you panicked and ran away.

[Thundertydus]

say upon touching the doorknob to the bathroom you gained a small static electric discharge, and because of that you backed off, a nearby passer-byer brushed against you, and the static jumped, he freaked out and pushed an older east indian kid, he freaked out and attempted to punch you in the gut, he hit the wall and that's when a teacher got involved, the teacher came out at the same time as the east indian's vietnamese friend, who stabbed the teacher repeatedly, in panic you hit the alarm to alert the authorities, but before said could happen, the two older "Gang Members" took the body and hotwired a nearby car and escaped"

[musicmutant]

this doesn't actually work and you'll get detention for a week or so

[aweman]

It's UVULA

[Beetbox]

No! Dont do any of these. At lunch just leave out the door. With or without your stuff. Go home or hide close to the school so you can still get your ride home when the bell rings. Man up and just go.

[alilbitkrazi]

that doesnt acually work

[pyelitegamerro76]

water puke... just chug a gallon of milk before class or try too, or 15 caprisuns, guaranteed to make you puke.

[warrockdude]

um did you hear about the science class that did that? they wanted to see what it would do to there body weight but instead they ended up in the hospital and bladder problems

[thoraxe]

make sure the caprisuns are warm as well

[Instructi-Guy]

Wow, that chug 15 caprisuns thing made my stomach cringe...especially if they are the lemonaid kind!