Picture of How to Lure the DMS Router in for a Hug

The DMS 5-axis router is quite a beast in the CNC shop and can reduce a piece of hardwood to a pile of chips in a matter of minutes. However, it's also quite a fickle machine and routinely throws random errors for no reason at all. In order to keep the DMS happy and cutting as expected, sometimes it is necessary to give it a hug. This can prove difficult since you must first lure the DMS away from it's safe home position. Here's how to go about that process.

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Step 1: Gaze lovingly and press a few buttons

Picture of Gaze lovingly and press a few buttons

Take a good look at the beautiful machine that is the DMS. Admire it's expansive work bed, high speed, and amazing Z throw.

The DMS likes having it's buttons pressed. Walk around and test all the E-stops. Throw the giant power contactor lever. Twiddle some rotary knobs on the Fagor controller.

It is rumored that executing the Spindle Warmup G-code may make the DMS easier to lure in for a hug.

Step 2: Read to it gently from the McMaster-Carr catalog

Picture of Read to it gently from the McMaster-Carr catalog

The DMS loves hearing tales of tools and fasteners, of gaskets and safety placards, of sheet stock and bearings.

If you check the reference manual for the DMS, you will see that the McMaster-Carr catalog is it's favorite book. It also seems to like the Gempler's catalog and old issues of Giant Robot.

Step 3: Offer the DMS a pretty flower

Picture of Offer the DMS a pretty flower

Contrary to it's high-tech robotic appearance, the DMS will appreciate a flower (just not carnations because, seriously, carnations?).

What the DMS would *really* love is if someone would make it a gripper/claw attachment so it could receive the pretty flower.

Step 4: Serenade the DMS

Picture of Serenade the DMS

You will receive bonus points for serenading the DMS on an instrument made locally (as in, made in the same shop).

If any parts of the instrument were actually routed on the DMS, that's a +3 charm modifier.

Step 5: Camouflage yourself as a robot

Picture of Camouflage yourself as a robot

It doesn't have to be a very convincing disguise, as shown in the above picture. Any metal accoutrement will do. It also helps to pick up a few tools to appear to be "part of the gang" which will serve to put the DMS at ease.

Step 6: Now jump up there and HUG THAT ROBOT!

Picture of Now jump up there and HUG THAT ROBOT!

Now is your chance! The DMS has been slowly moving towards you with each previous step, so throw the interlock for safety, get up there, and get it! There is an area just above the spindle head that is practically *made* for hugging.

You are almost guaranteed a flawless job after following these procedures!

(Disclaimer: These procedures in no way guarantee a flawless job. Not even 'almost'.)

pikeslayer5 months ago

o......kay awkward

Pixel_bandit7 months ago

I've got a vacuum mounting press that uses wetsuit rubber for the mat that suck up up against a glass sheet I rescued from a pool fence. The motor itself is a unit that measures in strange increments of even stranger amounts of vacuum. It too works better if I give it some affection. I found sometimes feeding the mat with a nice mixture if edible oil does wonders for it's complexion and rewards me with faster results. My engineers lathe also enjoys kind words and a blanket at night to hep it sleep. It's favourite song is a John Denver classic.

Wired_Mist8 months ago

This is a truly Special instructable; What song did you sing ? :P

joejoetheclown (author)  Wired_Mist7 months ago

It was a freeform jazz improvisation, since the loose tuning pegs on the fretless handmade banjo make it a little less than well tempered.

LynxSys12 months ago

This is excellent. I'm glad to see that you wore eye protection during this courtship. How often does one need to perform this procedure in order to keep the router happy? Also, do you find that it becomes fussier or jealous if it sees evidence of hand tools having been used?

joejoetheclown (author)  LynxSys7 months ago

It turns out that the DMS is a fairly stoic machine and doesn't need a hug very often. However I caught it at a vulnerable time that it wasn't being used much. Also, hand tools do not faze it- it realizes it is stronger than the combination of most tools and the hand wielding them. Unless it's a screwgun and you're going all "disassemble Jonny V" on it.

ChickenJo9 months ago

nice instructable! (Am I the only one who thinks it looks like GLaDOS?)

XD now that you mention it :P

GordonKirkwood10 months ago

I really want to court that router and give it lots of beautiful wood and foam and plastic to chew on.

BeforeTron11 months ago
Sniff... That's beautiful... Better than that movie "beaches"...
The Turn11 months ago

Pure gold. Amazing instructable sir!

VERY GOOD. A+, Joe Joe.

EoinM1712 months ago
I am sure a classy machine such as this would appreciate a vintage pinot noir on the side if you want to make a lasting impression
quincy trott12 months ago

this might work with my FRC team's disk sander/grinder...i call her sandy :)

OhLeita12 months ago

Thank you for the reminder. Ignore them and they do get grouchy. :)

wobbler12 months ago

This Instructable is very confusing. Is the DMS router the one on the left or the right in the top picture? I hope it's the one on the left, because, quite frankly, the one on the right scares me.

Thefrenchlover12 months ago

Funny :)

crispernakisan12 months ago
Oh, I'm trying (and failing) to come up with some sort of machine online dating pun...
jmdushi12 months ago
I just told my tools that there are more people loving, talking and hugging there tools and machines. They are having a little party now to celebrate you are hugging your DMS router.
CobyUnger12 months ago
VajkF12 months ago

I know I am a moron, but please please add a note about the importance of deenergizing the machine before approaching it.


joejoetheclown (author)  VajkF12 months ago

It's in there on the last step: "throw the interlock for safety". This will guarantee no movement from the machine while you're up there. Also, the spindle (likely the most dangerous part of this equipment) has a two-way interlock with the doors so there's no way that it could start up. Thanks for bringing it up!

pucksurfer12 months ago
Very funny. Good job
Verticees12 months ago

This could work to be a very interesting children's book. Love it!

muddog1512 months ago
kbc212 months ago
i have had machinery work better to music..... wood working machines like country, bluegrass, and folk. metal working machines seemed to be into rock, more classic than modern. my truck how ever is moody and lets me know if it doesn't like what i have on. and some times you have to cuss and swear at the machines to get them to cooperate.
tricky_monkey12 months ago
And people think I'm nuts for sweet talking cars with souls.
fozzy1312 months ago

Hahha I love this! It's brilliant.

Kiteman12 months ago

And how did you explain the concept of this project to the person taking the photos??

joejoetheclown (author)  Kiteman12 months ago
It was none other than our very own digital storyteller, Charlie. And he also helped me with the amazing robot disguise. :)


Coincidentally, I'm fairly certain all of these techniques would work for luring me in for a hug as well.