How to Make the Portal Cake

The cake is a lie.

No, not really. This one's actually very real and very delicious.

This Instructable will show you not only how to make a cake, but how to make THE cake from Portal.

The basic cake recipe for the middle layer can be used to make any homemade cake. If you want white cake, simply leave out the cocoa.

It's easy to do and relatively cheap. So let's get started!

Step 1: #1 Ingredients

The first step for this cake, like any cake, is to get your ingredients together. This particular cake can probably be described as a German Chocolate cake. It has two layers made from a box, and a center layer made from scratch (which is an important to this Instructable and cake). All of these ingredients were actually taken from a recipe appearing in the game Portal. http://www.planetfortress.com/dfa/portal-recipe.html
While it doesn't give the specifics of how to prepare it, with a little fooling around, I figured out the basics.

Pre-Packaged Chocolate Cake
1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Scratch Chocolate Cake
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cups water

Decoration
1 can vanilla frosting
2 cans coconut pecan frosting
1 small Cool Whip
1 small jar marachino cherries

Comments

[jamesjamesjames]

A Portal cake a made for a friends birthday =)

[josheee12]

I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS

[sir-zeke]

its hard to overstate my satisfaction

[sensitivepsycho]

Aperture Science.

[sir-zeke]

We do what we must
because we can.

[sir-zeke]

for the good of all of us

[scienceboy63]

except the ones who are dead.

[sir-zeke]

But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

[xana]

just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

[dombeef]

and the science gets done and you make a neat gun for the people who are still alive

[TyMan210]

She was a lot like you
(Maybe not quite as heavy)

[mason0190]

and while you're there, get the cakee (the one recieving the cake) tested at Aperture Science Laboratories.

[scott!]

anyway, this cake is great

[fatalfall11]

Its so delicious and moist.

[scott!]

Look at me still talking when there's science to do.

[watermelonhead]

When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

[scott!]

I have experiments to run, there is research to be done

[watermelonhead]

on the people who are still alive

[scott!]

and believe me I'm still alive

[watermelonhead]

I'm doing science and I'm still alive

[fatalfall11]

i feel fantastic and im still alive

[watermelonhead]

when you're dying I'll be still alive

[Duct Tape Dude]

when you're dead i will still be alive

[scott!]

Still alive

[watermelonhead]

noes, you forgot one.. when you're dead i will be still alive

[scott!]

Oh yeah, haha! Well... Still alive Still alive

[RedneckAsian]

*end credits*

[watermelonhead]

actually teh end credits happens throughout the whole song. LAWLS

[RedneckAsian]

I meant the end of the credits

[watermelonhead]

oooooh.

[mason0190]

im dead but still alive!

[Detonator]

Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish shaped crackers
Fish shaped candies
Fish shaped solid waste
Fish shaped dirt
Fish shaped ethyl benzene
Pull and peel licorice
Fish shaped organic compounds
Sediment shaped sediment
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
One cup lemon juice
Alpha resins
Unsaturated polyester resin
Fiberglass surface resin
and Volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yolks
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
one cup granulated sugar
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'
Two cups rhubarb, sliced
2/3 cup granulated rhubarb
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire
One large rhubarb
One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb
Two tablespoons rhubarb juice
Adjustable aluminum head positioner
Slaughter electric needle injector
Cordless electric needle injector
Injector needle driver
Injector needle gun
Cranial caps
And it contains proven preservatives , deep prenetration agents, and gas and oder control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
And, make that two cans of frosting. You will need a jar of nice big pitted Cherries,Sliced Almonds and dessicated Coconut.

[Deathmyfriend]

I did! I read it and It's a little confusing. I tried making it the way GLaDOs told me to and it turned out really runny and not at all able to be baked. If you follow this, you won't have to overstate your satisfaction. There will cake, and grief counciling at the end of this test.

[atomiclizard]

If you follow the recipe exactly, the fish shaped ethyl benzene takes out the runniness.

This post is a lie...

[willrandship]

The recipe also appears from the blue orb in the boss sequence, and is much easier to write down since you don't need to sift out the garbage.

[rick65000]

The baking soda fluffs the cake. The baking powder keeps the cake from exploding. Baking soda and baking powder are referred to as leavenging agents at this pro site. http://tiny.cc/tkwa8

[HisDivineShadow]

im sorry but the real cake recipie is... one containter of chocolate icing 1 pound of chocolate chips 3 quarter cups vanilla cake mix 2 quarter cup poly fiber glas resin dont forget fish shaped garnishes such as: fish shaped candies fich shaped crakers and im failing, aren't I?

[josheee12]

don't forget sediment shaped sediment.

[Duct Tape Dude]

or an article called "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare Hands".

[HisDivineShadow]

???