How to Read a Book

As many peole are completely literate but do not know how to read a book, this instructable is meant to teach everyone this silly, childish, invaluble skill. If you wish to learn something that will help you in life, perhaps you can find an instructable on how to burp the ABC's.

Step 1: Choosing a Book

When you first start to read books, you may want to start off with something simple. My first book was War & Peace, but The Complete History of Philosophical Meanderings Throughout the Ages is another easy one for beginner readers. If for some reason neither of these is easy enough for you, thn go to your local snack vendor and eat a soft pretzel while you learn to deal with it. Eventually, with some hard work you can graduate to more difficult classics, such as Five Little Monkeys, and The Cat in the Hat

Step 2: Reading the Book

Open the book, preferable to page one (unless you like to start at the end and end at the start) and start reading.

Step 3: Stop Reading

Please, PLEASE don't try to keep reading when the words end. The words usually end at a natural barrier called the back cover (unless you like to start at the end of the book and end at the start, in which case the words will end at a natural barrier called the front cover) Please, PLEASE do not try to read any further. It will hurt your brain.