How to Revive Your Pet Rock!

If your pet rock is anything like my pet rock, he or she's been dead for years, either from being left outside or starvation or not being able to breathe underwater, but now you can bring them back to life!!!

Step 1: Materials

You will need:

Your dead pet rock
Sandpaper
A marker

Step 2:

Now for all you over achievers start attacking your dead pet rock's face with that sandpaper, if you're worried you might hurt him, don't be he's dead, he can't feel a thing.

Now for the rest of us flip the pet rocks dead body over and simply draw a new happy alive face on there, but NEVER EVER, EVER flip the pet rock back over to the other side or else...   uh... rock poltergeists will infest your home, but other than that nothing really bad will happen I mean what can they do they're rocks.

Step 3: It's Alive!

Now your pet rock is alive and happy and the two of you can spend many more happy years together, or at least a few days until you forget about him again and suffocates under the huge pile of stuff in your closet, but until then have fun!

Comments

[jlundquist]

my rock came back to life but had bolts in his neck and made loud moaning noises. i dont think the bolt of lightning was the right way to do it? any tips

[underdog114]

I murdered my pet rock and now all the local rocks are breaking my windows

[Slayerfan666]

sucks, man. Build a catapult and launch them away

[Spycrab]

Oh my god...that was a beautiful story. I mean, the rock just came back to life and then it was happy...it made me cry (sniffs).

[Slayerfan666]

Me too.

[popcorn4lunch]

lolz like it!!
ive still never seen the point to pet rocks though....

[Slayerfan666]

they're good for listening?

[popcorn4lunch]

i guess they are huh?

[Slayerfan666]

I guess.

[FrozenIce]

Very usefull! NOT

[niletton]

I have many questions for you, like will my pet rock now be un-dead or truly alive. Also will this method work with pets and loved ones who have passed? Lastly if a rock is found in the wild how will i tell if it lives or is dead? Maybe you could post your home phone so interested parties could contact you directly? I have many questions about many things, and I am very lonely. I love you, I mean goodbye and thanks.

[drawe21]

Pet Rock's, now that takes me back to the 70's with a can of spray paint and some model paint opened many doors for a little kid.