Introduction: How to Run a Beer Mile
Greetings runners, beer lovers, and general aficionados of the quirky and eccentric. Some things are just so good-sounding, I wish I'd thought of them myself.
I'm Jeff Potter, author of Cooking for Geeks, and today, I'm sharing with you the ins and outs of completing a Beer Mile.
Drink, run, drink, run, drink, run, drink, run.
That's pretty much it. That's all there is to running the notorious Beer Mile. Sounds easy right?
Not so fast.
Apparently this popular fundraising event has a few (very few) rules that must be adhered to…and no…it has nothing to do with wearing those bright green tube socks. But they're good, right?
What You'll Need
Running shoes and athletic gear
A strong stomach
Step 1: Locate a Beer Mile Race
It shouldn't be hard. Beer Mile races are becoming more and more popular all the time. If you're unsure of where to find a race, you can go to the official webpage for the Beer Mile (I know, right!?).
Step 2: Get Yourself Some Beer
According to the official rules of the Beer Mile, the beer consumed at a Beer Mile race must be at least 5% alcohol, and it must be consumed in a "normal" manner. In other words, no shotgunning.
Think carefully about what kind of beer you bring to the race. If there was ever a time to lay aside your microbrew snobbery and go with the old tried and true PBR or High Life, nows the time. I'd leave the IPA and the Apricot Amber Ale on the shelf for this one. Remember, you're running.
Step 3: Ready…Set...
Once the race organiser has explained the rules (there may be some regional variation to the rules, such as "if you vomit, you have to do an extra lap"), you're basically ready to start the race.
Step 4: Aaaaaaand They're Off
The order of events is as follows:
Drink #1 beer, run 1/4 mile
Drink #2 beer, run 1/4 mile
Drink #3 beer, run 1/4 mile
Drink #4 beer, run 1/4 mile
Step 5: Maintain a Steady Pace
As with any other race, don't come out of the gate too quickly. Especially if you've ignored my earlier advice and chosen one of those really strong 7% microbrews or oatmeal porters or something. Bad move.
Step 6: Keep Your Eye on the Prize and Have Fun!
Okay, there may or may not be a prize per se (unless you count not dying a prize, which I absolutely do), but ultimately, the goal here is to have fun, maybe raise a little money, and if you're really good, you just might add your name to the Beer Mile record books!
Step 7: Weird Fun Is Good, and There's More Where That Came From!
If you enjoyed that little bit of fun, like and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more eccentric food and beverage-related hijinks!
We have a be nice policy.
Please be positive and constructive.