Step 1: Get a Website
Be sure to do ALL of the following on your website:
-Misquote the competition
-Include information that is completely irrelevant, but seems impressive
-Make up a completely false history about yourself
-Show yourself being smarter than others
-Dodge ALL questions asked via e-mail or blog comments
-Finally, don't forget to include ads on your website just to show the public that you're actually in it for the money.
Step 2: Swag
Design a sweet logo, it's best to look as patriotic as possible. Use a site like Cafe Press to put that logo on more useless crap than you can shake a stick at. Include a link to your store on the campaign website and be sure to post pictures of people wearing your shirts.
If possible, get a bunch of t-shirts yourself and give them out at large gatherings. People will go nuts.
Step 3: Include Minorities
Show you care by staging photo opportunities with a friend's little brother and take every opportunity to shake hands.
Oh, and don't forget that Presidential smile!
Step 4: Have a Debate
Don't directly insult your opponent, for example calling your opponent a "poop head" is just a bad idea. Referring to the person you are debating against as "your opponent," though, makes you look pretty awesome.
Step 5: Advertise
Here are some ideas of places to put your glorious flyers:
-People's Back Pockets (sketchy)
-Bathroom Stalls (really sketchy)
-Comment Card Boxes
Make a Facebook group! Seriously, if Stephen Colbert can do it, why can't you?
Write a book... well, you could, if you were really ambitious.
Word of Mouth
Tell Everyone! word of mouth is very powerful.
Step 6: Win.
And if you don't win, well, at least you have some cool t-shirts with your name on them and a bunch of people in your facebook group.