A few years ago, I applied for PhD programs in Clinical Psychology. I got rejected from every single one which hurt to say the least. Through the year following those rejections, I realized just how naive I was, but more importantly I realized how to deal with "failure". Looking back I can now see why I was rejected and how that doesn't make me intrinsically inferior or an outright failure at everything in my whole entire life and just doomed for mucking dirt and eating rocks.  Coming to terms with those rejections has also made it a lot easier to come to terms with getting rejected generally.  Of course I still get a little upset and a bit angsty, but that's normal for anyone and doesn't become a problem unless it starts affecting my life or the lives of others.

This isn't a feel-good-everything-is-grand Instructable.  It's a simple guide on coming to terms with rejection/"failure" and moving on because stagnating through obsession won't get anything done and will doubtfully make you or me a better or happier person.  It doesn't do any good to lash out at others and make them feel bad for their successes, and it doesn't do any good to stew in a well of worthlessness or feel that the whole entire world is against you.  It takes a lot of discipline to deal with rejection well, and it isn't easy.  I can't say I'm always successful at the process of taking failure like a champ, but it's certainly worth trying to be a champ especially if you just got rejected.

Step 1: Whine About It

Go ahead and whine about it.  Whine to yourself, a good friend, a relative, or someone who can maybe make you feel a little better.  Just don't whine publicly because you risk making others feel bad and making yourself look bad.  There's no point in going public unless you've managed to compile some solid evidence of unfairness.
<p>Failing opens doors for learning. One can never learn and succeed without falling, so its is very important to to take &quot;Failure&quot; like a champ. </p>
sigh, I have to apply to grad school soon, nerve wracking. <br />
It's horribly nerve wracking and just not fun at all.&nbsp; I've been through it twice.&nbsp; The second round was successful if it makes you feel any better, but it wasn't a PhD in clinical psych.&nbsp; Sometimes rejection is a good thing in hindsight.<br /> <div id="refHTML">&nbsp;</div>
You got that right!
aww...... fail........(whimpers, falls to ground, lands on cat. face clawed to high demensions.)
Your a winner in my book just for your post! Best of luck to you and God Bless.
You draw those pics?<br />
Nope.&nbsp; They come from my collection of retro clip art. <div id="refHTML">&nbsp;</div>
<font face="Times New Roman" size="3">Without getting into a debate on &ldquo;fatism&rdquo; versus &ldquo;choose your own destiny&rdquo; or a debate on religion and faith, I want to add that often failure leads to bigger and better things.</font> <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">Edison had an adage that went something like, &ldquo;Before I invented the light bulb, I invented thousands of ways to NOT make a light bulb.&rdquo;</font> <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">Failure is part of everyone&rsquo;s journey.&nbsp; Without failure, success isn&rsquo;t as sweet.</font> <font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><br /> </font>
Failing often helps too!<br /> <br /> If you're not failing, your goals aren't high enough :p<br />
<p>Well this is better then what my real shrink told me when i was 9.</p>
this is already really brutal right about now (college rejection letter time)<br />
You should not &quot;whine&quot; about your failure! Better do something so the next time won't be failure.<br />
<p>That is step 4.</p>
Personnal insight takes time and effort- thanks for making the effort and sharing it.&nbsp; (Was this a therapeutic exercise for you?)
It was somewhat therapeutic because I don't think I was ever really taught how to come to terms with rejection, and it really is a skill.&nbsp; I would tell people how upset I was, especially as a child and adolescent, but the most I got in response was, &quot;Ya, that sucks.&nbsp; Don't do it again in the future.&nbsp; Learn from the experience.&quot;&nbsp; Generally that response felt like I should shut up and move on without any guidance on <em>how</em> to move on.&nbsp; It was like jumping directly to Step 5.&nbsp; Of course, I figured it out, but it would have been nice to have been taught at least some tools.&nbsp; So I hope that my experiences will help someone else and make things a little easier.&nbsp; Even if this method isn't right for everyone, which I'm sure it isn't or at least won't be in every single situation, it'll hopefully at least send the message that it really is a skill to be learned and will hopefully be a jumping off point for people to develop their own method of resolution and acceptance.<br /> <div id="refHTML">&nbsp;</div>
Therapuetic and healthy communication skills are not taught in our culture-&nbsp; which I believe leaves many of us feeling unheard and isolated.&nbsp; I know I was taught to NOT be open with feelings and opinions lest we alienate or intimidate others-&nbsp; makes it pretty tough to connect with people.<br /> <br /> Thanks again,&nbsp;
&nbsp;awesome! 5 stars!
Thanks! <div id="refHTML">&nbsp;</div>
&nbsp;no prob!

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