How to Take Over the World
Tired of working for a living and having your usual nine to five job fail to pay your bills? Unable to climb your mound of personal debt? Spending too much time bowing down to "the man?" Fear not, faithful readers... by following this simple tutorial, you too can climb to alpha dog of the planet.
Step 1: Be Born into Wealth and Power
Rising to power from the working or lower classes is a tough order, if not downright impossible. To truly rise to power, it's almost essential that you must first be born into wealth. Lisa Kroll writes in Forbes magazine regarding the 10 most wealthy dictators, "Entrepreneurs they’re not. These fortunes are largely derived from inheritances or positions of power. And the lines often blur between what is owned by the country and what is owned by the individual." If by chance you're not born into wealth... well... keep those fingers crossed for a wealthy benefactor, Pip.
Step 2: Work the System
Once the slurry of your fortune has finally set, you must next turn your attention to working the system to get ahead. Your wealth and pedigree will net you the finest education money can buy, but your primary, secondary, and higher education will not simply end in the classroom. "Just as private schools are a pervasive feature in the lives of upper-class children, so, too, are private social clubs a major point of orientation in the lives of upper-class adults," writes G. WIlliam Domhoff of Third World Traveller. "Ultimately, social standing in their world reduces to one issue: where does an individual or family rank on the scale of private club memberships and informal cliques." Useful tip: don't forget to change out of that sweaty Polo gear before lunch with Buffy and Reginald at the yacht club!