OK, for some reason you are staying in Germany, but you did not have the financial means to check into a ****** hotel. Now even if Germany can be mistaken for being a civilized country, a large number of their houses are less comfortable to live in than a Mercedes or a BMW. Since these cars do not come with bathrooms as part of their standard equipment, you must resort to the facilities found in the house where you are staying. If you are out of luck, your bathroom is eqipped with a thing like the one shown in the picture above, the dreaded "Durchlauferhitzer".
Remove these ads by
Signing UpStep 1: Leaps and Screams
You strip naked, grab your shower soap, and jump into the shower cabin. Then you turn on the water and curse. It's friggin cold. Well, maybe it takes some time for the heater to get going, or for the water to reach your shower from the central heating.
No. The water remains as cold as a cod fart. Since you're child of your time, you guess that the machine on the wall must be programmed in some way. Before you reach it, you have time to get worried about your smartphone: Was it quad-band or only tri-band? Will it be able to interact with the heater?
Wrong. As you can see in the picture above, there is ample reason to despair. The dumb thing does not even have a power on button. (No, not even on the sides that are facing away from the camera.) Well, "one dot" and "two dots" are at least labels that are gender neutral and perfectly incomprehensible regardless of cultural background.
You give up and call one of the natives. After some battle tank gearbox noises in your ear, you have learned that the thing is fully automatic. You just have to open the tap some more, then the heater is turned on. The native explains that a "Durchlauferhitzer" heats the water on the fly (swim?), as it passes through the thing. There is no reservoir with hot water.
With new hope you step into the shower and open the tap, some more, then some. When the flow rate rivals that of the river Rhine, the box on the wall finally goes "clack". Within seconds, the water goes from "cardiac arrest" to "cerebral haemorrhage", and you slam the tap shut in self defence.
After experimenting for twenty minutes, your performance remains erratic. The machine goes "clack" or "thunk", that is, turns the heat on and off, respectively, virtually at random. Most of the time, the water actually gets colder as you open the hot water tap more, but sometimes it can suddenly become much, much hotter. What's the deal? Who invented this piece of <censored by the instructable team>? Is he still alive? If yes, where does he live?
Stay cool. I'll explain everything in the following steps. Above all, don't scream and throw the thing out the window, your neighbours will call the police. (...not because you vandalised the bathroom of your flat, or because you threw the "Durchlauferhitzer" on the street, the Germans do that all the time. No, they'd call the police because you screamed.)
No. The water remains as cold as a cod fart. Since you're child of your time, you guess that the machine on the wall must be programmed in some way. Before you reach it, you have time to get worried about your smartphone: Was it quad-band or only tri-band? Will it be able to interact with the heater?
Wrong. As you can see in the picture above, there is ample reason to despair. The dumb thing does not even have a power on button. (No, not even on the sides that are facing away from the camera.) Well, "one dot" and "two dots" are at least labels that are gender neutral and perfectly incomprehensible regardless of cultural background.
You give up and call one of the natives. After some battle tank gearbox noises in your ear, you have learned that the thing is fully automatic. You just have to open the tap some more, then the heater is turned on. The native explains that a "Durchlauferhitzer" heats the water on the fly (swim?), as it passes through the thing. There is no reservoir with hot water.
With new hope you step into the shower and open the tap, some more, then some. When the flow rate rivals that of the river Rhine, the box on the wall finally goes "clack". Within seconds, the water goes from "cardiac arrest" to "cerebral haemorrhage", and you slam the tap shut in self defence.
After experimenting for twenty minutes, your performance remains erratic. The machine goes "clack" or "thunk", that is, turns the heat on and off, respectively, virtually at random. Most of the time, the water actually gets colder as you open the hot water tap more, but sometimes it can suddenly become much, much hotter. What's the deal? Who invented this piece of <censored by the instructable team>? Is he still alive? If yes, where does he live?
Stay cool. I'll explain everything in the following steps. Above all, don't scream and throw the thing out the window, your neighbours will call the police. (...not because you vandalised the bathroom of your flat, or because you threw the "Durchlauferhitzer" on the street, the Germans do that all the time. No, they'd call the police because you screamed.)
Visit Our Store »
Go Pro Today »
I'm 22 and have lived in Germany most of my life. Believe it or not, in all places that I've lived the showers were much more modern and comfortable than what you describe. Thus I don't apreciate you calling one of the most efficient industrialized nations that I've seen to date one that "can be mistaken for being a civilized country."
So while, yes, these types of heaters do still exist they are a tiny fraction and most people in my generation probably would be just as baffled by them as you must have been the first time you saw this. Just felt the need to make that clear.
Besides, they are home to BMW, the most refined and civilized automobile affordable to man.
Es was nur ein Witze. Deutschland is selbverstandlich civilized. Wenn mann sagt es ist nicht, es ist Sarkasmus weil er so frustriert mit die Maschinen ist. Verzeihung für meine Deutsch. Ich liebe die deutsche Sprache obwohl ich noch nicht fliesig ist. Gibt es grosse Freundschaft zwischen die beide Lande. Der Schriftsteller meint keine schlecht.
first of all these things are all over the place.
secondly if these have not been fitted properly ,the flow rate/pressure isn't strong enough or fluctuates, the wrong unit( for the size of pipes fitted ) is used then it will not work properly.
You can still buy these and plumbers still fit them badly even when you employ a "meister"
and I understand you wanting to defend your nation but this-
buddhafragt says:
yes,
if you are too stupit to handle a Durchlauferhitzer, you better ask a local people.
But it is soooo easy: Only turn on the water....
Cant be soo difficult, even for an American.... ;-)
is nothing more than ignorant , offensive, pathetic and a sad indictment of the world we live in.
at least this instructable was humorous.
I have recently fitted one of these to replace a boiler that took 8 hours to heat! so it is easily more cost effective to run.
mine has electronic temperature control. I paid 50% more than a standard instantaneous heater because I have used these before and know what a pain they can be.
european domestic supply is between 220v and 240v dependant on where you live.
In germany it is 220v but these appliances have what I believe is called a 3 phase power connection and have 3 live power inputs.
So if you get a shock from one of these you are likely to get 660v through your wet body which ,if the warning on the box is correct ,suggests will probably/maybe kill you! or at least hurt a lot!
The point I was intending to make was, that these units take a far higher degree of technical competence and should not be confused with a normal u.k. domestic electric shower which normally use a normal domestic supply and are really an easy d.i.y. upgrade.
My point still stands though it would hurt lots.
Any other place in Germany I have ever been showering at did have the same standard as any hotel. Actually I have seen less comfortable solutions in other countries.
Have a good day !
I am blown out of my socks by all this feedback. I hope you understand that I cannot respond to every comment individually. If I tried, I'd be sitting here until well after X-mas.
It is amusing to see how quick some of you have jumped to conclusions and accused me of all kinds of things. Well, I suppose it can be held against me that I cannot resist the temptation of adding to my own amusement, and that of all my supporters, by revealing the following facts about me:
I am not from Germany, I am not from USA. I have lived one year in USA and eight in Germany. Cheers
p.s. Don't miss my new instructable about how to peel a banana like Jonas.
Yeah, the German language sucks too, but I think Mark Twain beat me on that subject. It has many similarities with Swedish, but way too many superfluous syllables like "ge", "be", "ver", and, in this case "er" in their words. Pretty confusing at times.
There are certainly prefixes that carry meaning in German, but when we start comparing with other germanic languages, you quickly become aware of that German tote a number of prefixes that have been dropped from other languages long ago (if they ever made it there in the first place). "Erhitzer" actually offers a good example. Is there a German word like "Behitzer", "Enthitzer", "Gehitzer", "Verhitzer", ...? No. A quick and dirty translation of "Durchlauferhitzer" would be something like "throughput water heater". No need to say "throughput water erheater", or anything like it, is there?
Of course I am finitely informed, what else could I possibly be? Or, as the saying goes:
Perfect knowledge in a field can only be attained by reading one book too many...
...and ten too few.
Let's have some fun—using your "erhitzer" example but this time with an American appliance. "Refrigerator" offers a good example. Is there an English word like "unfrigerator", "nonfrigerator", "defrigerator", "misfrigerator", ...? No.
How about "inflammable"? Your counterpart from Germany might look at this warning and think, "hmmm, visible — invisible; capable — incapable; flammable — inflammable, OK it's safe. Oh no, I'm on fire".
My all-time favorite is the "hot water heater". I don't know about you, but if my water's already hot, how much more heat do you need to apply?
How about the American invention "television"? Here's a word from the classical language salad bar:
"The etymology of the word has a mixed Latin and Greek origin, meaning "far sight": Greek tele (τῆλε), far, and Latin visio, sight (from video, vis- to see, or to view in the first person)." —couldn't they make up their mind? The more, the merrier—I would've tossed in something Egyptian or maybe even Celtic.
The wheels went off your bus at "quick and dirty translation". "A quick and dirty translation" of any language yields results that suck. The bus' engine then threw a rod when you stuck a German prefix in front of an English word, "throughput water erheater" to try to make your point. Just wait there and I'll call a tow truck or cab.
Refrigerator is just "kylskåp" in Swedish. That gain in efficiency is almost as good as the loss of efficiency in the infamous dubbing of the film E.T. into German. Where E.T. says "phone home" in the original, he must chew through "telefonieren nach Hause" in the German copy. You can forget about lip sync there.
One word is especially ripe to be stripped of its prefixes: reindeer. Well, "re" is a common prefix, leaving us with "indeer". On the other hand, so is "in", so now we only have "deer". Lo and behold, "de" is also a prefix, so in the end there is only "er" left. Fortunately, "er" is not a prefix in English, or else there would be nothing left. (right?)
Talking about dubbed movies. Watching Hollywood movies staged in the WWI or WWII can be quite fun. Now and then some American soldier interrogates a captured German soldier with the help of a translator. In the dubbed version, the American soldier speaks perfekt German, but still fails to understand the German spoken by the German soldier. Here follows an example translated to English:
-Where are the tanks?
-Where are the tanks?
-I don't know.
-He doesn't know.
-Tell him I'll hit him on his head if he does not tell us.
-We will hit you on the head if you don't answer.
-So be it, I still don't know.
-He insists he doesn't know.
(so on and so forth)
It looks very silly indeed.
Did you see the one where ET and Superman go back in time, kick Hitler's ass, have sex with Eva Braun and spawn a race of ugly but powerful and sweet dwarfs for future Scientologists' domestic staff—kind of like Dobby? I forget the title, look it up.
Using Hollywood movies to support your logic—BRILLIANT!!!
You don't seem to know English very well, and are obviously not a native German speaker but I admire your spunk. Nevertheless, you could use some help with etymology. Check this out:
"the word reindeer has nothing to do with reins. The element -deer is indeed our word deer, but the rein- part is borrowed from another language, specifically from the Scandinavian languages spoken by the chiefly Danish and Norwegian invaders and settlers of England from the 9th to the 11th century. Even though the Old Icelandic language in which much of Old Norse literature is written is not the same variety of Old Norse spoken by these settlers of England, it is close enough to give us an idea of the words that were borrowed into English. Thus we can cite the Old Icelandic word hreinn, which means "reindeer," as the source of the first part of the English word. The word reindeer is first recorded in Middle English in a work composed before 1400."
P.S.: WWI and WWII Hollywoodmovies are dumb! (dubbed or not!)
"As David Robb, the author of Operation Hollywood: How the Pentagon Shapes and Censors the Movies, observed: “Hollywood and the Pentagon have ... a collaboration that works well for both sides. Hollywood producers get what they want—access to billions of dollars worth of military hardware and equipment—tanks, jet fighters, nuclear submarines and aircraft carriers—and the military gets what it wants—films that portray the military in a positive light; films that help the services in their recruiting efforts.”
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20080320_the_pentagon_goes_hollywood/
I just felt the need to this time to point out your immediately obvious ignorance. I am a born and raised American who lived in Germany for 3 years and I guarantee that either
A) You know nothing about Germany (or humor for that matter).
B) You have your head in the sand so far that you fail to see the pathetic inadequacies of your own nation.
I guarantee that Germany is among the most "civilized" of nations on this planet, if not the most civilized.
If you still disagree consider this.
- They care about the earth they live on
- They realize that the health and safety of the people come before any
private investor or company's profits
- They don't fight necessary wars for un-necessary amounts of time
- They have an insatiable aim for perfection that tends to keep them at the
forefront of modern technology
- They predominantly realize religion parallels mythology
- They actually believe in human assisted global warming and let the facts
and science do the proving
If your nation has the mindset of even a fraction of this list, I would be surprised...
Have a nice day and stop spouting nonsense.
Thank you.
Since you have such hatred for your native country, I hope you get the chance to live somewhere more suited to you. We will do our best to make do without your presence.
One of the issues left out of the media's futile attempts of keeping the money-making fiasco going was the fact that the person doing the programming for them left a note to himself inside the program (typical of us programmers) stating to be selective on the data used so the results they wanted to support their theory could be achieved.
Too many people have too much to lose by admitting the truth that this was one of the biggest farces ever foisted upon mankind. They especially have a lot of personal pride to lose. The information is on the web to be found. You can download the original documents yourself and see the facts or take liberal slanted views (even Wikipedia). Yes, I have read them. Yes - they were falsifying information.
Chrishughes... Thank you for your grammar lesson. And also, you clearly misread my paragraph. Not once did I bash the country that has provided a nice life for me... all I said was that, given how highly I regard this country; the fact that Germany is at least par or better means that it is surely civilized from my perspective and that of "facts". Regardless I may have to move if this beautiful country doesn't revert to what it once was. :(
In the last round of emails that were hijacked/released, he was saying he had to destroy the convicting evidence before being asked for it on the basis of the Freedom of Information Act. Non-guilty people need not hide anything.
A nice metal cup - a bar of soap and a good scrubbing sponge.
A wet down from head to foot, a good scrub down from head to foot and a rinse from head to foot.
Very little water used, a fast and thorough wash and one is squeaky clean.
Actually you tend to get so spotlessly clean with 15 liters of very warm water, in like 3 or 4 minutes, and far more clean than soaking in 200 liters of water, in the shower or bath in like 15 minutes.
These devices? Set them to the right temperature, and make a mark on the dial where the best temperature is, and then let it heat up for a few minutes to stabilise the temperature and then use it.