Instructables
Picture of How to Tweet Porn
The popularity of Twitter's real-time publication platform has very rapidly transformed a data-rich communication medium (Teh Internetz) into a rapid-firing, text-based, publication tool akin to a high-tech telegraph. While on one hand it is useful to have a massive database of real-time, localized, data-sets, consisting primarily of useless social drivel, on the other hand it has yet to be effectively demonstrated as to why. The worst of it is that Twitter's posting restrictions have limited the communications of countless seemingly intelligent and talented individuals to a level of mental impairment and has also obscenely limited their ability to meaningfully express themselves and/or engage in sustained critical dialogue.

And let us take a moment as not to forget that pervasive digital publishing services don't just operate on electronic devices, but also drive the future development of said devices. The proliferation of Twitter will have a serious impact upon the future development of devices intended for real-time networked communications by undermining the value of a rich multimedia experience. This will limit the ability for mobile devices to share and publish images, audio and video. Most obvious, this will prevent the dissemination of the art form that prior to now unequivocally set technological standards - pornography.

Until recently, Twitter's unique platform has made it nearly impossible to engage in real-time transmission of pornographic images, setting technological advancement back decades. Yet, thanks to my own personal research and the development time of myself and known-pornovator Evan Harper, I present to you a methodology for using Twitter's stunted interface for sharing data-rich pornography, one pixel at a time. It is my hope that this will further the development of integrated data-rich content within Twitter's unique platform. Perhaps some day, the medium will advance to the point where we will be able to use Twitter to transmit girl-on-girl video in semaphore.

Follows are detailed instructions for you to share pornography in real-time, pixel by pixel, with your friends and family.

Follow Porn on Twitter!

 
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thedod4 years ago
It's a cool and funny instructable, but I think the best way to to tweet porn would be something like "My nakkid wife: http://nakkid.me/wife", or - if you're more discreet - you could encrypt that (shameless plug).

Tweeting the actual data makes as much sense as trying to stuff it into a url. It's easy to write a script that does that (get the whole image as a base64-encoded "path"), but that's not what URLs are for.

So what are tweets for (and why should we be interested in the crippling medium of 140 character-long text messages)? Twitter is a bottom-up thing. It's here to push the envelope of junk hardware (in a way - that's what the instructable community does as well).

This diminishes the e-divide. Sounds like tall words, but where I live (rural Thailand), most people's connection to the net is via a not-so-smart phone, yet they are using it a lot (from photo albums to weather forecasts for fishermen).

Now every edge/gprs phone does twitter (in some place all you need is SMS), and that's cool, because when you really need it (e.g. a hurricane just hit your town) - the only IP connection you might find is a phone. Where I live - you don't even need a hurricane for that :)

Sorry if I came out a bit "holier than though". That wasn't my intention and I did enjoy your instructable.
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Kryptonite4 years ago
As comical and tactful as ever, Randy. Nice piece of coding I must say though.
I hate Macintosh computers.
Fred826644 years ago
I dont do mac but I know Linux can run many of smiler software to this you describe for the Mac or run it in a VM sandbox. This dose have 2  HIGH 5 in my book . If I was born with more hands you would get them as high 5s as well 
Thank you for making my day.
Lovely and eh, innovative usage of twitter here randy, living within the bounds of taste and decency as ever...

Oh I did want to click feature but thought better of it...