Introduction: How to Wrap Presents by Stealing From Work or Gifted With the Gift of Wrap
This Instructable will give two great examples on how you can impress your friends and loved ones, simultaneously express pride and distain for your place of employment, and create a beautiful, unique gift wrapping that partygoers will not be able to quit talking about all night long.
You will see side-by-side instruction on gift-wrap through theft; one from a high-end frame shop somewhere in Northern California, the other from FedEX/Kinkos. Although I will show you, in detail, two methods of wrapping presents by stealing from work, It is VERY important that you augment this Instrutable to your specific employment situation and aesthetic.
To be totally successful in this endeavor you have now committed to undertaking, you must use as many resources from your work as possible without paying for anything. It is important that you do all the production on this project while "on the clock". Ideally you should be working on this while you are supposed to be doing something else. It is also preferable (though not mandatory) that you wrapping your presents at a time when you are getting paid overtime.
Step 1: Gathering Supplies
The first step in this process I will call "gathering supplies". If you are confronted by a superior they may use a different term, however for the sake of brevity I will just say "gathering supplies". Due to possible ire that could be incurred upon you by this process It might be best to go about this step out of the observance of anyone who would be apt to divulge your activates to any authority types.
It might be a good idea to rehearse predetermined excuses for your behavior just incase someone does notice and you draw a disapproving eye, i.e. "This stuff? Oh, Steve in the warehouse is doing inventory and he asked me to bring these down there so that he would have an even number of things to count....Didn't you know? Steve...horrible case of OCD...almost debilitating...I like to help him out when I can."
Frame Shop Wrapping: The supplies needed in this project are as follows
1) Black Masking Tape
2) Hanging Wire #4
3) Wire Cutters
4) Black Backing Paper
5) ATG Tape
FedEx/Kinkos Wrapping: The supplies needed in this project are as follows
3) Tyvek Mailing Envelopes
4) Shipping Stickers
5) Cardboard Mailing Envelopes
6) Assorted Waybills
7) Fax Cover Sheet
8) A Passport photo of the gift giver
9) Price Labels
Step 2: Select Your Gift
You may or may not choose to procure the gift from your place of employment. This step really has everything to do with your own circumstance. If you are employed by Macy's, perhaps you have many things to choose from that will bring joy to those you love. However if you work for the Center for Disease Control, or a British meatpacking firm, you might want to look elsewhere for a gift. In fact, if either of these latter two examples are the case, perhaps this is not the Instructable for you.
FS: Ipod Alarm Clock, Itunes Gift Card
FK: Epson Photo Luster Inkjet Print Paper, Empty Box of Napa Valley Mustard Crisps
Step 3: Prepare the Wrapping
FS: First take the black backing paper tear some into bits. The size of the bits is really up to you. These will be used to give texture to the final wrapping. Take a large sheet of the paper and use it to cover the gift like you would with any wrapping paper. Cut the paper with the scissors making sure that it is large enough to fully wrap around the object. There should be an inch or two on either side and the top for overlay. Tape the sides down and fold the ends. Tape the ends as well.
FK: Several Tyvek envelopes are cut apart with the scissors and adhered together with tape then wrapped around the larger gift. Follow the same guidelines show in the example above for size and process.
- Keep in mind that this is your project. You are bounded only by your imagination. Anything can be selected in this step as long as it is malleable enough to surround your gifting object.
Step 4: Adorn
In this stage we will adorn the wrapping. This adornment will vary depending on the materials you choose from the nearly in exhaustible pool of supplies found at most workplaces. Use whatever tickles your aesthetic sense. If you have no aesthetic sense, do what Jackson Pollock did; Get Drunk, be verbally abusive to everyone in your immediate area, and dace around schloping things wherever it feels right. If you want to complete the aura, try quoting as much Jung as possible, however, it is probably not advisable to start striking members of the opposite sex regardless of how much trouble you are having getting into the part.
FS: Use the black masking tape or the ATG tape to adhere the scraps you tore in the last step all over the package. Try and curl the scraps slightly and overlay them like scales. You are attempting to get a "furry effect"
FK: Attach the Waybills and the shipping stickers all over the package. This has two purposes. First is to cover up any flaps sticking up from step three. Secondly you are beautifying the wrapping. If you are having trouble with placement, please refer to the Pollock suggestion above.
Step 5: Secondary Gifts
We will now wrap our secondary gifts or cards. At this point, you should probably make a quick check around the office or wherever you are working to make sure that no one has taken notice of your activities. Carry something somewhere. Make a good showing of looking busy and productive. It might also be a good moment to pop into your boss's office and pay them an unsolicited compliment. Just be sure you grab a stapler or something shiny on the way out. Exploration is the key to a beautiful end product.
FS: Make an envelope with the black paper. Tear the paper to preserve the "furry look" simply fold the paper over the card and tape it shut.
FK: Cut open a cardboard mailing envelope. Be sure to remove the plastic packet on the back that holds the waybill. Fold the side of the envelope, which does not have the adhesive strip on it over the package so that it lines up with the opposite edge of the gift. Pull off the adhesive strip off and attach it to the side you have just folded. Pinch both ends of the package in, down and together as shown in the picture. Use stickers to close the two ends. Finally, attach more stickers for aesthetic pleasure.
Step 6: Ribbons and Bows....
...Everybody Knows......no wrapped present is complete without the fine flourished touch a bow provides to a thoughtful gift. There are many things found in the common workplace that can be used as a ribbon or to make a bow. Think outside the box! (Pun well thought out and intended) Some times it just takes a little ingenuity to get the job done. In the FedEx example we will be making a more common simple bow. (If you do not know how to make a bow refer here or here) In the Frame Shop example we will make flowers out of hanging wire.
FS: First make three circles out of cut wire for each flower you plan to make. Wrap the ends around each other securely so they dont slip (picture a). Take three more links of wire and join the circles together. (picture b). Use different lengths of wire and attach the circles at different places along the wire to get more dramatic shapes. Be sure to leave enough length on the ends to attach to the present.
FK: Cut more of the Tyvek mailing envelopes into strips. Take the strips and tie them end-to-end to create ribbon of appropriate length. Crumple and twist the Tyvek to give it texture. You will be using this both as ribbon and to make your bow.
Step 7: More About Ribbons and Bows
Now that we have dipped out toes into the wonderful world of ribbons and bows, lets take it all home with the possibilities available to us though the joy of "appropriated supplies".
FS: Tear long strips out of the black backing paper. Attach these to the top of the package. Leave room for the flowers we have just made, as this is also where they will sit. Take your scissors and curl the paper by holding it between the flat side of the blade of the scissors and your thumb. Draw the paper across the blade applying slight pressure with your thumb. (See FK image b). Then, take a length of hanging wire and wrap it around the package from top to bottom. Underneath the package cross the wire, give it a quarter turn and bring the wire back op to the top of the package. Tie the ends of the wire together.
FK: Wrap the small package around twice with the Tyvek ribbon we have made and then attach the bow you have made to the smaller package. (I apologize for not having an example in bow making. One might say that this makes me a little unreliable, but then again, you are currently in the process of stealing from your employer) Curl the ends of the Tyvek ribbon in the way described above in the FS example. Make another length of ribbon long enough to cross the length width and breadth of the larger package. Place the smaller package on top of the larger one. Tie the two packages together with the ribbon you have wrapped around each package at the crossing points.
Step 8: Almost Done Now...
There is nothing more than formalities left at this point, really. If you have been able to get this far without being questioned as to your what you are up to, you are probably home free.
FS: Attach and arrange the flowers we made in step 6 to the wire you have just wrapped around the package.
FK: Take the pricing labels, fold them over and tape the ends together. Attach these around the bow as shown in images FK a & b
Step 9: The Sentiment Needs to Be There
What is a gift without a card? NOTHING, THATS WHAT!!
Start thinking about how you are going to get the package out of your workplace without anyone noticing. If it gets confiscated on the way out, all your hard work has been for nothing. You might work up a distraction by placing some amount of an illicit drug in a coworkers desk. An anonymous call down to security should give you enough time to get away unnoticed. Im sure there are other ways to accomplish this, but none come readily to mind at the moment.
FS: attach the envelope with the Itunes Gift Card in it. Write a "To" and "From" message on the outside of the envelope.
FK: Attach the passport picture to fax cover and write whatever message you deem appropriate. Attach the card to your present.
Step 10: Elegance Without Costing You a Red Cent
There you have it! And think, you don't need an excuse to apply this Instructable. Simply wrap things for no good reason other than the love of the craft. Wrap your coworker's lunch-box, the coffee maker in the break room, or the tires on the C.E.O's car. Just remember, it will always mean more coming from you if it was paid for on the company dime.