How to be AWESOME.

 This is a brief instructable on how to be awesome.  Being awesome is not an easy task, and there are many ways and situations to be awesome in.  Being awesome is not something you are born with, as in a God giving gift, but it's merely something you are because you choose to be.  How do I know this you ask?  Because I'm Awesome silly.  Now, let's venture into the world of awesome and see just how far off you are.

Step 1 Step 1. Own life

What does that mean to own life?  To own life means that you call the shots.  Nobody tells you how it is, they ask you how it is, and if it isn't, you tell them how it's going to be.  Once you build the confidence to be awesome, you will find yourself walking into every room as if you own it.  You won't wait for the bartender to ask what you want, you will look them in the eye and tell them exactly what you want with a swagger that demands it with mutual respect.  Remember, people only respect people that intimidate them, or respect them back, and you want the latter.   You earn or lose a persons respect the first time you speak with them, so head up, choose you're words wisely, look them in the face, and have it.  If you say something stupid or uneducated, then go home, stand in the corner, and think about what you've done.

Comments

[cailin...]

pretty amusing; funniest so far was response to "fartnocker." incidentally, down's is a trisomy, so you'd have an extra, not a lack of 1 chromosome. entertaining nonetheless.

[zkiard]

Indeed!

[seedsca]

A rant to the rant:
Life is not owned, it's lived.

I ALWAYS appreciate a good home brew. Nothing like it. However, what I might not appreciate is a constant barrage of holierthanthouisms while enjoying the delicious brew.

The inclusion/exclusion of words can make any fool sound like a genius or vice versa.

It factually is possible for a person to think they are awesome while at the same time be alone in that conclusion.

Good luck in your path to awesomeness. I hope it leads you to a life of happiness.

[shmacky26]

 I can see that my cleanliness rant may have offended your hippie ways.  Tis possible to be a hippie, and still smell good.  I swear.  

I am impressed by your love of the earth, hatred of what technology is doing to it, and I respect the fact that you will never forget the day the Challenger blew up.  
However, life is most certainly owned.  Life is lived in prisons and under cold bridges.  It is owned with hard work and clarity of harmony.  

Your lack of a college degree has a little bit of an inferior complex, but let that go, you are smarter than that.  

Enough of me, er, or rather, you.  Go back to your spring thoughts of what you're going to plant this year.

Being wrong is only an option, not a flipped coin.

[chopperdave]

That was awesome!

[Polemic]

This is well written and funny!

[shmacky26]

 Ahhh, you are too kind.

[fartnocker]

 well i do believe this is quite an intimidating speil on the forms of speaking.
lol if you do this you will be talking like yoda and say sompthing like "fell the intligence you must!"

[shmacky26]

I only have questions at this point.

[shaneomacmcgee]

 Whit? You mean wit?

[shmacky26]

 Funny you replied to this on the section titled "Don't be a dolt".  


 Wit, and Whit, are two different things.  One refers to smarts, as the other relates to size.  I use them both, apparently you believe they are to be the same thing.

[shaneomacmcgee]

 Actually, I misread. You don't need a comma between "Wit" and "and," though. :)

[shmacky26]

 You misread is right.  And no, I don't, but guess what hero, I do want a comma there.  A comma represents a pause, as in, I am pausing to emphasize what is about to come next.  Here's an example.

You have a very, enormous nose.  I don't NEED that comma there,...I simply want it there.

Are you following this Shnaus?

[fartnocker]

 you remind me of donald trupm, everything has to be his way. i know this instructable is just a funny joke but its a good one. and if this instructable describes who you are and you are like this that your probably thinking that i think your awsome. i dont think that but i do enjoy reading this. 
you get five stars and a cookie

[shmacky26]

 That was tough to follow, but I thank you in advance for the cookie, although I don't eat sweets, I drink them.

[pyra_builder_1337]

you showed me with this that i am more than awesome TYVM

[okoshima]

I can't read this instructable due to my own awesomeness, well that and you are a complete pile of steaming elephant placenta

[shmacky26]

Nice tattoo, it must be an original.  Elephant Placenta, really?  That's the best you could come up with?  

[okoshima]

actually it was drawn by a friend of mine for the purpose of being permanently scarred onto my wrist so yes its original. and not even close to my best, but i dont see the point in wasting my talents on someone of your lower intelligence

[shmacky26]

 Oh, and before you give me the history of your dress up party costume, know that like the history of your tattoo,...no one cares :-)

[shmacky26]

 Maybe as a tribute to you, I'll make an instructable on how to put a tattoo meant for a catholic school girl on a mans wrist.  You should get a little pixie fairy in the background flying around the heart...

Or better yet, How bout this for a title, "Blue Tarp Jacket Makes Not So Cool Halloween Costume".  

There ya go, eat it.  It's both delicious and nutritious.  

Keep em comin Sally, I can do this all day long.

[bassclarinet23]

Or you could just be me... :)

[shmacky26]

 That's a big negative Whiskey Tango.  And Van Halen IS awesome, hey wait, did I say that?  Oops, sorry, that wasn't me, that was 1984 talking...

[bassclarinet23]

Ha ha.

[tecneeq]

From one awesome peep to another: you are awesome indeed. I am known to be Großartig (wich is awesome in german) myself, i know how it is to be truly awesome.

The constant envy from the lower lifeforms, it's disgusting .... a disgrace really. Only few can be truly awesome and dominate their environment. I'm glad to be one of them. I glad you are.

[framistan]

This has to be one of the best ever instructables i have seen.  Anyone who criticizes your spelling or anything else is a DWEEB.  You are obviously confident, good lookinig, and intelligent... SO, you can get away with being awesome easily.  I tend to think us LESS-handsome, LESS-intelligent dudes need to strike a balance between AWESOMENESS and GROVELING.  John Wayne was AWESOME... but Barney Fife would not get away with it.  Maybe life has smacked me down a few times too many.  Thanks for this instructable. Anyone who likes this instructable should read the book,  "Winning Through Intimidation" by Robert Ringer.  I will try to be more awesome now, and less groveling. 

[shmacky26]

 Stop I'm blushing....

[qui-gon621]

Interesting Instructable. But what I found most curious about it was you choice in photos (and one animation). They are a very good choice. Bravo.

[shmacky26]

Ahhh, thank you, ~taking a bow~  Only few get them all....

[lemonie]

Do you brew your own beer? And while you're expanding your vocabulary, it's important to spell words correctly, and use them appropriately (though there are few mistakes here)
I go in line with Biopyro, but it's not an awesome Instructable.
(And I don't get the use of images in steps 1, 3, 6 & 7?)

L

[shmacky26]

 Thank you for the grammar lesson, but I don't get paid, or graded on my writing, therefore, I save the proofreading for you knitpickers to hash out on your own.  And of course you don't get the images, and of course I brew my own beer.  

Don't be ridiculous.

[jdege]

If you can't be bothered to put in the effort to make sure what you write is easy to read, why should anyone else be bothered to put in the effort to read it?

[shmacky26]

Jdege, 
Where you choose to put forth your effort is not my concern, but if you like to talk about it we can keep going.  I'm here for you.

[lemonie]

Nit-pickers, "nits" being lice, esp. head-lice.

L

[shmacky26]

 Holy ballbags are you annoying, the internet makes you look real smart when you have the time to look it up eh?  You're meticulous, my better self tells me that you're a janitor, my worser self think things that aren't appropriate here, but for real, spare me the lessons, even though that was actual information, we are all dumber for having read it.  I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.  
~waiting for you to reply that "no" is not a numerical reference~

[--= Excogitate =--]

 LOL! I just got a similar post on mine from him. Admittedly, I sort of understand where he came from on mine, but he's just being annoying here.

[shmacky26]

 He's not a typical Homosapien, he comes from the variety scientifically known as the Douchess Maximus...

[PKM]

Step 4: Raise your standards

... of grammar.  Sorry to pick nits (again) but it undermines what is otherwise an entertaining 'Ible.  It takes little effort to spell right, punctuate right and break up paragraphs.  Spelling correctly is the online equivalent of brushing your teeth- putting ina little effort to make life more pleasant for everyone else :)

Also, I'm sure you can find a better opening image- your image alone made me pre-judge this Instructable thinking that it would be the usual dross.  It isn't, but I suspect many people will make the same mistake.

[shmacky26]

Pakman, 2 things:

1. Spelling correctly is in no way the online equivalent of brushing your teeth.  In fact, never say that again.  Ever.

2. You just don't understand how much I don't care about any mistakes.  In fact, I think I'll leave them there for future fellows as yourself to let me know about.  There are a lot of you, you don't smell like old cheese by any chance do you?

[PKM]

Meh.  I was just commenting on the off chance that you cared.  I'll leave you to figure out for yourself how long people continue to find being "ironically" arrogant and wilfully offensive still funny.  There's plenty of that on the internet, too.