Introduction: How to Tell If Your Girlfriend,boyfriend,son,daughter,wife or Husband Is Lying to You.

 For those of you who hang around people all day which would mean almost all of you this ible was designed to help you find out if they are lying to you or not. This ible should be especially useful for parents who have teens (ironic since I am a teen)

Step 1: The First Sign

 The first sign when someone is lying is usually faltering over words or if you say something that corrects them and they say "well one time I saw that"  then that means they are probably lying 

Step 2: The Eyes

 Usually when someone is lying they either blink their eyes a lot or look away from the person they are talking to and pretend to do something that requires their eyes to be focused on it. I suggest you watch out for this guilty symptom if you just happen to notice it they are probably lying

Step 3: Defense

 Whenever the person who is lying starts getting angry and starts protesting that they did not do it then they probably did and that should be common sense.

Step 4: Angry

 When talking to the liar and he or she starts getting angry and is wanting to start a fight then they lied because with us being human and prideful then we automatically want to defend ourselves but when confronted we feel helpless and to save our pride we naturally fight back if they fight back they are most likely lying

Step 5: Body Language

 ok here are a few body language equations that will help you.

Fake smile = lying 

Eyes getting bigger and eyebrows raising= lying

Fidgeting = lying (most likely) 

Sweaty hands or head= lying

Itchy head or face = lying (most likely) 

Walks away from confrontation = lying 

Angry during confrontation = lying 

Cant stand still or sit still = lying (most likely)

Not looking at you directly = lying (most likely)

Step 6: Warning

 These tips are only meant for confrontation purposes and situations regarding confrontation. Use these techniques wisely. This should keep your relationships healthy and happy.

Comments

author
Researchr (author)2015-10-28

Have you ever given advice, but later found it to be terribly wrong?

I have a spare ten minutes to provide alternative answers to the written, unfounded "signs" above that have been debunked previously.

This runs along the lines as wrong as "eyes wandering left means liar - (NLP)" thinking, also debunked. All of what I read above comes from uncritical thinking and all hearsay.

I hope that your steps will not cause unsuspecting gullible readers to dwindle their friends and relationships because they believe that friends and relationships are constantly lying because of the signs listed above.

Body language is a person's repetitive posture from learned behavior and all learned behavior postures/movements are different person to person. I can recalling one past girlfriend's "I want sex now" posture to another girlfriend's "Are you kidding me?" posture as exactly the same. (See Sono Bello ad girl Gina in red dress)

Alternatives to your body language signs:

here are a few body language assumptions that will help you lose friends:

Fake smile = can be deceitful in trying to remain congenial or can be a common response when accompanied with a short fake laugh and then head cocked at an angle with squinty eyes, usually right after a personal verbal attack or a smart-ass remark was given to them.

Sometimes a fake smile is used to seem congenial or friendly when they didn't like whatever you just said to them, verbal scrutiny of how FAT they look in that dress? This might be why nobody had sex that night after the date too. It started with the fake smile.

Eyes getting bigger and eyebrows raising = is usually, not always, a sign that they are surprised or disbelief at what they just saw or heard...being truly shocked will usually open their mouth in unison (sometimes spoken with a "WHAT?" or a "NoShit?" or in spanish "Aye??" ) . This expression is a common "shocked" response. It's the same look I give the monitor when I went to the "people of Walmart" website. Try to keep a straight face when viewing those photos?!!

Fidgeting = comes from any sort of nervous condition as well as mental anomalies; my daughter with ADHD fidgets when asked to recite the alphabet. Large % of adults in USA have undiagnosed ADHD. Has nothing to do with lying.

Sweaty hands or head = many medical conditions cause sweat as well as personal conditions just prior to the "converstional sweating". Most people don't sweat instantly, but under scrutiny/questioning that is not common, people may sweat from body temp rising to a perceived conflict. My mother would sweat when a yelling match occurred in front of her as she did not face conflict well. Sweat has not been found to be an indicator of lying any. If you were wrongfully accused of murder, your forehead would be sweating too. (Good thing the jury wouldn't take your "lying signs" to be truthful)

Itchy head or face = see ADHD above...and all sorts of lingering irritants / reasons that cause itching, especially in the midwest with the remnant pains of dry skin or bugbites for weeks afterward. Shorthaired people get lingering mosquito or tick bite pains for days/weeks.

Walks away from confrontation = MANY people walk from confrontation (fight or flight personality) for a myriad of reasons that stem from childhood experiences to common sense individuals that believe that the conversation doesn't merit their time invested in it.

Angry during confrontation = same goes for the person wrongfully accused of something, Eg: the last time a jealous, insecure "EX" accused you of cheating on them? Reactions during a conversation are about what experiences that person had in the past. People as a whole do NOT react the same. Some people reach their "anger" level differently, even at different ages of their lives and it has nothing to do with lying, only controlling their temper limit.

Cant stand still or sit still = please see fidgety/itch head/ADHD above

Not looking at you directly = Americans are raised to believe that conversing while "looking me straight in the face" as truthful, but we can be a rude, direct people compared to other cultures. In some cultures, to speak while staring into someone's eyes, is a form of rudeness because it's interpreted as direct confrontation, not polite conversation. This goes with distance of bodies during conversation. Some speak closely and others politely apart. Some people perceive a "line of questioning" in a conversation as interrogation and do not like such. Sometimes for memory recall, people practice object focusing techniques to recall a certain thought or event, it is used in meditation worldwide.

*****

Unfortunately people keep believing ideas lthey read from keyboard internet advice and make ill fated decisions which can be life changers or just make for suspicious and lonely lives.

Please do more research before soliciting to "How to tell" or "interpersonal advice" articles, especially on relationship sensitive issues. A gullible reader might make a decision or accuse someone based upon faulty guidance and become truly regretful. All the while, the writer/publisher is not held liable.

author
BastianF (author)2015-01-17

cool

author
BastianF (author)BastianF2015-01-17

nice

author
Canyoneer87 (author)2011-12-29

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but a lot of these signs aren't necessarily conclusive or even remotely tied to lying. But, I want to help out a bit. I've taken some classes on NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming), Deception detection, and interview/interrogation techniques that police officers use in interrogations of suspects.

A fake smile can be detected based on how the eyes look. Eyes that wrinkle together at the outside is a sign of a genuine smile. Fake smiles don't usually engage the rest of the face.

The eyes enlarging and eyebrows raising can come from surprise or fear. Surprise and fear look similar, except in surprise there is more change in the lower face. The fearful face is less changed from the eyes down.

Sweaty hands and face can really be anything. They are not indicative of lying.

People do show an apparent itch on different parts of the face or neck.

People getting angry and walking away from confrontation may not actually be from being dishonest. People that are telling the truth actually get angry when someone challenges their integrity.

Someone not looking at somebody directly could arise from shame, embarrassment, or guilt.

If you want a realistic show on nonverbal communication, check out "Lie to Me". It's loosely based on the life of Paul Eckman, the "discoverer" or micro expressions. Also, read anything by Paul Eckman. He's incredibly knowledgeable and explains what to look for in deception detection.

The most important thing to remember is that you have to establish a baseline before you start telling someone they're being deceptive. For example, some people are natural sweaters. Some people always look away from people when they're talking, etc.

Hope this helps clarify this.

author
acidbass (author)Canyoneer872012-02-09

Thanks for the info. When I did this ible I was honestly just taking crap my neighbors were teling me and stuff I saw in movies (few years ago), but I appreciate the input.

author
PhotoMaster (author)2011-06-22

Some of the things listed may or may not be accurate, but avoiding confrontation is incorrect.

I "ALWAYS" avoid confrontation. I have a phlegmatic personality, which causes me to avoid confrontations whether I am right or wrong. I would rather give in than to risk losing a friendship. It is not connected to lieing or being truthful. See the book "Personalities Plus" at your local library. It is excellent.

author
Spookty (author)2011-02-10

Bad Instructable. Getting angry is usually a sign of telling the truth, because they're pissed that they're being accused of something they didn't do. Usually FEAR is a sign that they're lying.

author
acidbass (author)Spookty2011-02-10

Dude

At least I made the initial effort. I did not see you make an ible similar to this.

author
Spookty (author)acidbass2011-02-11

Well don't try to inform people that someone's automatically lying just because they're acting a certain way. You'll hurt people in real life.

author
acidbass (author)Spookty2011-02-11

I did not say that if they are acting a certain way they are lying I said they COULD be lying. And really this s just a tool it is not me who will hurt people it is the people who use the tool the wrong way.

author
acidbass (author)2011-01-06

Oh yeah I have seen that thanks for reminding me I totally forgot about that. ;-)

author
acidbass (author)2011-01-04

guilty until proven innocent or vice versa

author
acidbass (author)2011-01-04

or you could just always assume that they are always lying

author
Blackdog Barker (author)2010-08-24

??Sweaty hands or head= lying?? I thought I was afraid of highs but now I found out i was just lying.. Now I can go up on the roof and fix that leaky gutter.. Whew and I just thought I was going to fall..

author
acidbass (author)Blackdog Barker2010-08-25

cool i am actually afraid of highs

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Gracore (author)2010-08-15

pretty good list, but ive always found/do most of these more when i have been accused of something i didn't do. Look away, because you want to end the confrontation, if someone overheard they might think the accusation where true. you get defensive because the other person wont back down and is making a scene, maybe other people are starting to accuse you as-well, you want the topic dropped. you get angry because people around you are all believing that you did something that you didn't despite what you defended with. "confronted we feel helpless and to save our pride we naturally fight." Not that I disagree with you, but that is one hypothetical scenario whereby these signs can be miss interpreted. (Me and a few of my friends used to start string lies in our classes against our other friends, and purposeless say it loud enough so that the teacher would hear and start to believe the gang of liers, regardless of how absurd the lies were. was allot of fun.) your body language shows because you are Embarrassed and made to feel awkward by the event, it is irritating and hard to walk away with your name now tarnished.

author
acidbass (author)Gracore2010-08-21

i agree with you but in this case i am helping the accuser out maybe i will make an ible that helps the liar out

author
lil angel (author)2010-04-24

these are great tips but everyone knows them already...so wat do you do when hes lying to your face and doesnt show any of these signs...but all his friends tell you the truth...but when you confront him he's calm and nicely says no and give you kiss....and lies again...so tell me how can i catch him in his lie without saying our friends told me...

author
acidbass (author)lil angel2010-04-24

 like i said in the ible (i think) this is a work in progress i will add more "signs" when i get a chance

author
Glad(to-meet-ya)ys (author)2010-04-11

Hehe how to tell if someone is lying eh.. this is a interesting topic (especially cause I'm a AWESOME lair)
I try to avoid these signs so people wont know im lying =D

author

 yeah me to lol that is why I did this so i could find my faults

author

Hehe your funny =D
imma compulsive liar =O

author

 yeah I am midly addicted to lying 

author

Are you lying right now? (jk)
hehe midly eh I only tell white lies ;)

author

 ..........................maybe lol jk white lies are good but it is the funny ones that are the best

author

oooh yeeaah!!! hehe
funny lies are the best i say funny lies =]

author

 indeed my fellow liar

author

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed, but a friend with gold is the best I'm told"
the word indeed reminded me of that quote from "The Leprecon"
(I think that is  how leprecon is spelled) hehe =]

LET THE LIARS UNIT!!!!! =D

author

 yes indeed i like that quote 

author

Me too, I use it all the time hehe
But that movie scares me and chuckie too (they give me goosebumps just thinking bout it)

author

 yeah same here

author

But i still love watching scary movies hehe =]
just not chuckie and the leprecon hehe oh yeah and the clown movies those are the worst =[

author
acidbass (author)2010-04-08

 please PM me or comment if there are any probs or misunderstandings with this ible

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