Step 6: Avoiding a fight.

Picture of Avoiding a fight.
Now you could read forever on how to win a fight
and you could take lessons in the same way, but the easiest thing is to avoid
a fight.

Now it may seem cheesy like you've heard it all before but there are some good ways
to avoid fights:

Talk it out- If you have no hope of winning a fight a good idea is to
talk with the bullies cronies as the bully most likely won't have any of it.

Friends- Most people hate bullies even people who are bigger than them
because there will always be someone bigger than you that also applies to the bully.
Heck you can even get big guys to teach you stuff about fighting and people older than you
usually like someone they can look after because it makes them feel wanted.

Hope this can help someone out there.
My brother bullied me since i can remember until I was 12 and he was 15 I was 2 inches taller and he is a skinny mess so i easily beat him removing any thought of older sibling authority
i had the same problem i left my old school because of a bully something i regret he was shorter than me now i just wish i can see him so i can destroy him
Rossmod6 years ago
i used to be bullied by an absolute twat who was smaller and weaker than me, but because i was scared of getting into trouble, i didnt bounce his head off the floor. Now though, if he tries it again.....
mumto27 years ago
Just wanted to say thank you for your posting. My two boys had a lifetime of being bullied in school. No one ever did anything, you can complain about it, but this seemed to make things far worse. They suffered injuries, humiliations, torn clothes, stolen items, the list is just about endless. It has caused low self esteem, and just about no confidence. this is because, the schools here have this unwritten policy the person being bullied is not allowed to defend themselves or they find themselves in detention. We think bullies are evil and losers. it's not just kids, teachers can be bullies too. In my eyes, if they don't stop the bullies when the kids are not allowed to defend themselves, then the school (s) is condoning the abuse. And no...my children are not bullies. never have been.
Have to agree about teacher bullies. Had a physEd teacher who would let the jocks beat up kids in class. I wish we had cell phone cameras back then...parents never believed me.
usaruss6 years ago
School is a lot like the larger society; authorities do little to the hardened criminal but give the citizen hell. Crime increases, officials respond with gun control. Crime rises again as fewer citizens jump through the hoops to have guns. Thugs are encouraged by supply of disarmed citizens and have a field day. I think some of you are from UK, right? You have seen that up close and personal, from what I hear. Your politicos promised security if you gave up your weapons, now you have neither security nor weapons. I'm sure Churchill is rolling over in his grave. Many of our leaders and their henchmen are trying to take us down the same path.
usaruss6 years ago
I too was bullied in school. A certain amount goes with growing up. But pacifism must have a limit. No one has a right to use you as a punching bag. Unfortunately, a student all too often is on his own. Teachers say, "don't fight, come tell us if someone bothers you" Well, bullies are masters at doing their thing without witnesses. Teacher mayl check it out, but it's ultimately your word against his,and again; he's a master of deceit. Soon, teacher labels you as the troublemaker and tells you to quit complaining. Truth is, the teacher often knows the truth but she is afraid of the bully herself, and fears that management won't back her if she does anything. I don't advocate injuring anyone, but don't be a victim. Gang up on the perp if you have to.Catch him alone in a hallway or better, off school grounds. Beat him in the stomach, leaves few marks. Slip up behind him in a crowd and trip him by kicking one leg over the other. In 2nd grade, we tamed the class bully for awhile by tying a rope to his leg and dragging him around the school yard, til teacher came up and stopped us. In those days, that wouldn't get you expelled or arrested. Home schooling may also be an option for some families. Shelters and protects to a degree. My daughter has dealt with bullies and has sometimes been one herself. She gets punished if we get wind of her harassing or intimidating others. But I have also told her not to be a victim. If the system won't protect her, dont' turn tail and run. Stand up for yourself and get in a good punch. I will defend her all the way. I will get criticized, I know. But who was right in history; Neville Chamberlain or Winston Churchill? Pacifism carried too far has no end. We retreat to our own yard, then into the house, then to the back room, then the bathtub, etc. The bully keeps moving the line up and up.
mumto2 usaruss6 years ago
True. No one has the right to use you as a punching bag. Pity teachers don't recognise that. Ahh, yes, the old 'come and tell us if someone bothers you' What a crock of proverbial trash that is. I have had the same discussions with the school and teachers; not long discussions if by phone. They usually hang up. They never liked meeting with me either. They were very fond of making life worse for my children after the meeting. Bullies are masters of deceit, manipulation, lies, and acting. Teachers and schools do know this, and use it to their advantage. Teachers are not afraid of bullies. They learn how to perform from these creatures. Management do back teachers, especially if they condone abuse. They consider not helping anyone to be the 'in' or the 'cool' I believe that everyone has the right to defend themselves, and should be allowed to do so, especially in a school environment. The school, in my eyes, has no right to condone abuse. They are the biggest bullies of all. It is a fine line to tread , in trying to keep ones children safe from all aspects. It is a very fine line to consider also when another child wants to know what to do against a bully. As a parent, we are between a rock and a hard place. Every parent is different and has different views. An opinion or belief of one parent, is likely to cause offence with, and/or clash with the opinion or belief of another. When my children have had to defend themselves. They tolerate a lot before they have done so, I don't tell them off. They are not the ones in trouble. The school is, for turning the 'blind eye' and 'deaf ear' that could have so easily stopped a bully before it reached the situation where someone has to defend themselves. Schools here, remove that basic human right. They punish any child who defends themselves against a bully. They close off every avenue, and use every means of their condsiderable resources to shut down anyone who dares to speak up about the abuse they have encountered in school. Any student who takes it further, any parent who takes it further will be slandered, made out to be liars and troublemakers. Job prospects - no one wants to know someone who stands up and speaks out about injustices. Prospective employers usually phone a school to obtain a 'reference' if they are considering employing a teenager. The school has ways of manipulating situations with the aid of the bullies making life extremely difficult for any teen who has stood up and spoken out, to obtain work. Schools seem to abuse the students who mainly have no resources to defend themselves with. My children are not bullies. They never have been. They have far more respect, caring, good morals and ethics, and help others, than any bully , teacher, and school is ever likely to have in any lifetime. No one should have to tolerate an abusive environment. Nor should they have to end up lowering themselves to the sewer standards of those who enjoy harming others. School and Staff disgust me.
macca4life7 years ago
wel im streching the truth a il the 1st part was true the rest was bullshit lol
of what?
nothing it was an old post and i deleted the comment
mortso6 years ago
Duck I wanna say something saccharine, but true. If I had kids (which i don't) I'd want them to be like you. Your Mom and Dad should be darned proud of you ! You'll do well in life, keep it up ! Have fun and keep being yourself.
michaek80706 years ago
I used to be one of the most popular kids in school, everyone knew i was a great fighter.. and no-one would dare mess with me.. Then one day, my best friend punched me, so i pummeled him to the ground.. he went to school the next day with a broken nose, black eyes.. big puffed up cheeks.. ect. Then everyone started hating me, just because i fell out with one person. Im starting to wonder what ive done wrong.. he punched me and kept on going from there, i was only defending myself.. I constantly get harassed over msn, bebo, and when i go outside. I know i cant harm anyone for harassing me.. i have a social worker since i nearly put my ex-best friend into hospital.. What should i do?
The difference between you and Duck is that Duck stops with only enough force to STOP the person. You used enough force to really hurt him. It's a case of just overreacting. You owe him an apology, but with a caveat that He understand your temper and not ever whack on you again. YOU need to learn restraint. Just enough to stop, not enough to humiliate... which is what you did. Sorry pal... Best of Luck !
duck-lemon (author)  michaek80706 years ago
Say you are sorry for it and that it was him that started and stay real cal, and submissive and just try be the good guy, You probably have already tried this and it probably didn't work since your asking me but if they still hate you after that they must be not very nice people anyway, and with the (ex)friend you fought try and talk to him about it, don't try and be friends with him again though because he'll probably want to hear nothing of it but once you've made peace at least with him it should start getting better. If this doesn't work just try your best to be as nice a person as you can be. Hope i as able to help.
lobo_pal7 years ago
Best thing to do is just go of and confront them, make a scene. If people are aware that someone is causing a big problem like that, then they will do something about it. Don't go Columbine though.
fdelgado17 years ago
Thats cool that you defend yourself with bullies and stuff. When I was younger (I'm still young though 16) I used to get bullied because everybody used to be better in sports than me or whatever but every year I practice and practice like they say "practice makes better". Now I am a varsity football player and I'm barley a sophmore. Now when ever those guys that used to bully me play with me they respect me. Not only because I got better in sports but because I've fought most of them and beat there asses because they were still trying to bully me. I am now 5'11 149 lbs. All I am trying to say is hang in there one day you will probally be 7'0 giant or something. Well deuces.
Karv7 years ago
I've never been physically bullied, but I've gotten bullshit just for talking. Instead of any reaction, techers plainly ignore it or yell at me for starting the argument.
mortso7 years ago
I think you are a cool kid and this is good reasoning. I took Martial Arts for years, still practice, but talking and negotiating is what got us this far in human history, and will get us over the next hurdles too. Thanks!