I made this for a school project, we had to make ridiculous instructions. Am I attending an awesome school or what?
So here's my entry for an absurd manual.
Note: I don't think you're stupid. This is not a real manual.
Step 1: The Handkerchief
First choose your snot-rag. This can be one of those thin ones in a box or even a piece of toilet paper, whatever makes you feel comfortable. Next, hold your hand as shown on image and then lay the hanky over your hand.