That's it. You're tired of sneaking around the house to hide the presents, telling your child that No, those aren't squirrels in the attic, it's Santa on the roof!, eating the carrots left out for Rudolph (okay, so maybe you still enjoy those cookies for Santa..) and holding your breath every time your kid uses the internet. It's time to let them know the truth. That Santa is fake. A myth. A story. A fraud. Nothing special. Here's how.

Step 1: Method 1: Straight out

"Listen, Bobby...there's no such thing as Santa Claus. He's not real."
Okay, maybe not the best solution, as it will inevitably end up with crying, shouting, tantrums, a sudden urge for chocolate--er..maybe that's just me. But if it's been long enough, maybe little Bobby will just take it with stride. Reassure Bobby that he is still, in fact, going to receive presents. Once his short attention span takes him back to the television, you are free to sigh with relief.

<p>I knew it</p>
<p>why do your parents lie Jerkers? </p>
<p>why is Santa a lie? </p>
<p>Scientific Proof Santa Claus is Fake</p><p>1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.</p><p>2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.</p><p>3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about &gt;.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.</p><p>This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.</p><p>4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that &quot;flying reindeer&quot; (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth Cruiser.</p><p>5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.</p><p>6)Unlike the South Pole, which lies over the continent of Antarctica, there is no land beneath the North Pole but more of a floating Arctic ice sheet that expands during colder months and shrinks to half its size in the summer.</p><p>Conclusion, Even if santa was real, he died from either blowing up, weighing down his sleigh and crashing,his workshop drowning from no land, diabetes, or being crushed while going down the chimney, and if you look up your chimne you will see that going down the chimney leads to a drain, thus you having to make a turn that someone as fat as santa claus can't fit through</p>
<p>at them speeds,he'd literally be a bowl full of jelly.</p>
<p>and it's rubbish that he's silent,you'd here him from 3000 miles away and he'd probably make you deaf.</p>
<p>that's what is real</p>
<p>ma-gic, M-A-G-I-C</p>
<p>Mum told me Santa was not real when I was just three but now I am eleven and mum said</p><p>Santa is not real and reindeer do not fly</p><p>I was so upset but I kept it a secret until today</p>
<p>my parents told me and I'm ten and I said who bought me a segway and a big box of fnaf shirts. But I took it OK my friend screamed</p>
<p>Why do people say Santa is not real look I will prove it........how do we get our elves Hiw do they move at night how do they make a mess why does it bring it with fake snow to sprinkle on them so they could wake up and mess around in your hours....NOW THAT IS THE TRUTH THAT SANTA IS REAL</p>
<p>You make no sense. ITS YOUR PARENTS,</p>
It's your parents
<p>your mom and dad move it around in the night.</p>
So now i know santa is not real i am 12 and that ruined my life and christmas thanks alot jerks! <br>Btw look up elf on the shelf caught moving how do you explain the elfs etes moving
<p>I'm sorry to flip yo table (ノ&deg;▽&deg;)ノ︵┻━┻ but the vids are edits,or use strings. I'm VERY SORRY TO FLIP YO TABLE OF BELIEF OF SANTA (ノ&deg;▽&deg;)ノ︵┻━┻</p>
Sorry to say but people set up these videos for kids. Some people use strings, others will use edits. There's many ways to make it look like something is moving. Just think about it. They did not ruin your Christmas. If u didn't want to know u should not have looked it up or clicked on the link or whatever u did.
<p>I've known for a few years that Santa isn't real, but that doesn't really matter anymore. Yes, I was minorly depressed, but I soon found that it wasn't the end of the world. If you found out about Santa via this website, talk to your parents. They'll make you feel better. </p>
<p>I agree. It doesn't matter if he's real or not, it just matters about Christmas trees, and family, and gingerbread. Lots of gingerbread :).</p>
<p>Really your parents don't have to break it to you... sometimes you start looking online and getting some hints that hes not real.You could just pretend like I do to keep the spirit You learn to grow up which sucks but you learn to know</p>
<p>I know its hard to let go from ur childhood but some people help there parents because they still have younger children Im under 12 and even I know he not real it ur parents</p>
<p>yes, thank you!</p>
<p>sorry no dice</p>
<p>I knew it </p>
<p>I knew it</p>
<p>he is real all u dumb fucks.Alol u should go to hell fuck all of u</p>
All these little kids commenting that Santa is real. Ah, the good old days. I'm only 13 and I'm Santa now! I have to help my mom wrap my sister's presents and fill stockings. It is still super exciting though.
I do the same! It's fun keeping the spirit alive for my younger sister and I'm glad I get to pitch in writing Santa on some of the presents. The best part is, is the cookies!
I can't believe santa is not real! are you sure? I better go ask my parents about this! =)
What did they say
<p>no,no don't-</p>
I'm six years old and r u telling me my mommy and daddy have been yelling to me all this time about Santa
<p>when I was little, mybrother and I redmember hearing sleigh bells, they do exist, they just let parents do the work.</p>
umm... im 11 and now im sad :*(
Don't be!&nbsp;I made this ible as a joke (SANTA&nbsp;IS&nbsp;REAL!)<br />
<p>so you are saying that Santa is real?</p>
T to the R to the O to the double L
Santa Clause isn't real, people. My parents never talked about Santa Clause, because their parents said he was real. One day, they told my parentsvthat Santa Clause wasn't real, and my parents hated my grandparents. Parents that say Santa is real ruin kids' childhoods, so just stop.
??? I'm laughing here and my 5 year old is asking me what's so funny. I googled this question and instructables popped up.
All right Mr know-it-all,<br /> If Santa does not exist, then why does SAC&nbsp;NORAD&nbsp;track him going around the world each December 24th?&nbsp; Not to mention that most military installations with any kind of air field track him as well. &nbsp;<br /> <br /> Now how can you tell me he isn't real?<br /> <br /> http://www.noradsanta.org/ <br />
<p>yes(the things military will do for kids)</p>
You could read this: http://attrition.org/misc/humor/xmas-proof.html<br /> <br /> (but I still think he's real!)<br />
<p>no hes not</p>
Santa is real the person who made this article is mean and doesn't have no Christmas sprit the grinch is nicer then this person even scoorge. So merry Christmas and a happy new year
<p>grow up going over every house in 1 night would require a speed that would, in such a heavy sleigh, would create a plasma fireball larger than the moon that would consume the atmosphere and evaporate the Earth's crust.</p>

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